|Reviews for To Change Hyuuga|
| Fogfire chapter 23 . 8/24
well, this was a really nice and lovely fanfiction.
a bit much sex scenes if you ask me - I skipped over all of them and was very thankful for your warnings at the beginnings of each chapter - but don't mind me.
i like how you write the characters. you let them change in time but you do not make them ooc, everything is realistic.
ah, i would have loved to see Kankuro happy. He is one of the guys that have a special place in my heart (just like almost every character in every show I watched, I just realized) and I'm really really thankful that you gave Baki a partner - he is, of course, also one of the characters I deeply care about - and it was nice to see him happy.
plus - really clever way to show us who Hinata was with before Gaara. And a clever choice, not too mainstream
all the love
| Fogfire chapter 6 . 8/24
A total five, this was a really good and important chapter to understand the characters better
| lilacblossom chapter 4 . 5/30
The humor worked just fine! don't be so hard on yourself
| lilacblossom chapter 2 . 5/29
Yes! I finally found another GaaHina marriage fic!
| vinzy chapter 2 . 5/21
OOOOOO MY GOOOOOD I DIDN'T EXPECT THAT LAST SENTENCE
| Yvonne Park chapter 24 . 5/17
I loved this story! You did a great job with it. Gaara and Hinata are so cute together! :)
| anne chapter 22 . 4/24
was kakashi her first lover?
| anne chapter 3 . 4/24
this is different hinata. i like it.
more a go-getter.
| WrittinInStone chapter 23 . 3/30
There are some things about this fic that I liked and others that I didn't. First for the things I did like:
You are a pretty good storyteller, so that's good. I like the interaction between Hinata and Gaara in this fic and I like that you didn't make Hinata a stuttering, bumbling, weak joke overall.
What I didn't like; the lack of, or poor editing. Telling your readers that you uploaded a chapter without actually proofreading it says to me that you didn't finish the chapter. Proofreading and editing is part of the process and not doing it makes your story suffer. Who cares if we have to wait; make us wait. A well-written and properly edited chapter is to be preferred than a quick update with misspelled words, tense changes and sentences that simply don't make sense. All of these things could have been avoided if you took the time to edit or got a beta who is a better writer than you. The last part is important because a beta that is at the level you are can't help you improve.
Secondly: Making Maaya so much 'stronger' and more experienced than Hinata didn't make sense. Hinata is a Konoha JONIN, and was training to be a ninja since practically birth. Not only that, they're close in age so even if Maaya did have more experience, it shouldn't have been as much. This is perhaps the only time you made Hinata weak-ish without reason and it didn't add anything to the story at all. Hinata could have been strong and you could have still easily maintained the tension in the situation. You could have kept it they way you had it too, but perhaps given Maaya a powerful Kekkai Genkai to justify so much added training and prep for a freaking Konoha jonin.
Thirdly: Just how many people has Hinata slept with?! You have implications that it could be quite a few. Kiba, Shino, Kakashi ... perhaps I was reading it wrong, but the implications were there.
Fourth and probably the thing that disappointed me the most; the misleading foreshadowing about their child. I was very happy and really looking forward to Gaara and Hinata having a first born son. It's so rare in fanfiction as female authors just love giving daughters first and they do it more often than not. There's nothing wrong with that, of course, but it would have been a very welcome change to see a first born son, a little miniature Gaara, as you implied you would. You didn't do that, rather, you gave them a first born daughter just like everyone else and that was really, very disappointing.
Fifth: This is perhaps the most interesting observation I made; this wasn't really a romance. It was more friendship than anything because you stated several times that not only were Gaara and Hinata NOT in love, but Hinata didn't even really need Gaara to love her. I'm still not sure how to feel about that. I would have liked her to be a bit more ... idk, a bit more yearning of a deeper emotion than mere affection and friendship especially of her husband. The way you've written this, Gaara or Hinata could still fall in love with others because they're not in love with one another. It's definitely a different way to write a relationship and I suppose it works, but the way it comes off is that well, they're just friends. This not a deep, abiding relationship.
They're just friends ... with children. An epic romance this was not.
Overall; you have great potential and although this was not my cup of tea, I'm still glad you took the time to write it. Thank you for doing so.
| Tsukiome chapter 23 . 3/20
I absolutely love this fic
| Tsukiome chapter 12 . 3/20
| Tsukiome chapter 1 . 3/20
| Hinatta chapter 1 . 3/15
FINALLY a fic that deals with Hyuuga's Branch System!
I'll add this story to my Hinata Community
PM me to be staff or if you know of any others!
Look for it here: ...
| 4thkage chapter 23 . 1/18
the deleted scene...was so sweet...
| 4thkage chapter 21 . 1/18
nearly in tears...hehe...
i felt my face hot when reading this chapter...