Reviews for Knight of the Star League
cko2 chapter 1 . 5/21/2013
to bad this apprears to be a very dead fic. it was starting to go somewhere to. sigh...
Sieben Nightwing chapter 5 . 8/8/2011
Hmm... it's good and all but I have one really important question, and I'm sure others have asked this, but I'm asking anyways: WHERE ARE THE 'MECHS? Also, when is the next chapter coming out? I can't wait to read it. Thanks for all your hard work and all, but I'd hate to see a promising story die.
Knives91 chapter 5 . 12/17/2007
Ah, the slaughter begins...this is going to get very, very ugly. Nothing worse than pirates. Let us see the blades of the samurai fly in the defense of her friends.

PS: As to the secret ingredient, it would be the thong of Natasha Kerensky. (jk)
TxA-GunFighter chapter 5 . 10/20/2007
Good chapter. Can't wait to read more.

TxA-GunFighter chapter 4 . 10/20/2007
Good chapter.

TxA-GunFighter chapter 3 . 10/20/2007
Good chapter.

TxA-GunFighter chapter 2 . 10/20/2007

TxA-GunFighter chapter 1 . 10/20/2007
Good start.

Vampwriter chapter 5 . 8/9/2007
Cool, you finally posted it. And you're welcome. I look forward to helping you more in the future. In the meantime, this looks good. Just to say, I think it'd be easier for you to get at least a hotmail e-mail account. It would help to make file sharing a bit easier and almost no one uses Outlook Express nowadays. I'm also not against Yahoo instant messenger. If you can do that I'll pm you my im address.
Kat Wylder chapter 2 . 8/3/2007
Interesting story and scenario, so far. As a few of the others had mentioned, the stats are a bit unneccessary. If you really want to keep them in the story, I'd recommend moving that information to a "supplemental" section at the end. The beginning of the story should always be something that grabs a reader's interest.

From the way you're describing the PHG overload accident, it would make sense that anyone who happened to be in the right place at the right time could get transported -regardless- of psychic ability. While psychic powers are aparently a key point to the story, it sounds like a bit of over-explanation to make that a part of how she ended up in BattleTech. (Then again, that could be important to your plot; I'll wait and see.)

In any case, it's good work.
RougeBaron chapter 4 . 8/1/2007
This one is easier to follow, and I'm beginning to like it. I love the martial art scene. Sometimes BTech/MW fans forget that humans do not always ride a battlemech in the 31st century. To see that ancient tradition survives is nice.

That said, don't worry about the lack of battlemech. Take as much time you need to build the plot. It's more important than mindless action scenes.

A final comment: How do you know about Immelmann Turn? Are you a pilot?
Vampwriter chapter 4 . 8/1/2007
Nice. So the little fox has a sensei she's she's been seeing. That's cool. I hope she beats the crap outta the bastard. Can't wait for the next chapter. If I'm right I hope Yoko ends up with a beautiful girlfriend. One that has brains, of course.

Also don't forget to update your other fics, especially MS Seed Girls. I've been very patient in waiting for that. On a side note if you need someone to help with beta reading I'm available to help. You know how to find me.

Anywho, until later,

Ja ne
RougeBaron chapter 3 . 7/31/2007

I think people were confused by your choice of words. I understand that you're French, and you probably wrote the text in French and used Babblefish or something similar to translate it into English. It's smart, but sometimes online translators use confusing words.

For example: "She simply began to aim for the bank and used the water to help her." Bank? What bank? The first time I read this, I was thinking of CitiBank (no joking here). Why would Yoko take 2 nude girls to CitiBank to get water? After reading it several times, I finally understand that you meant "river bank".

I would suggest that you use a proofreader. That's what I do. My native language isn't English either, and I found it extremely useful to have a dependable proofreader. Or, keep it in French. I believe there are many BattleTech fans that read French.
Tremble Wolf chapter 1 . 7/30/2007
I think I thought about this last time... Why do you have the "stats" for your character, you're not making a game are you? because they are in reality somewhat... irrelevant and well I don't know, ridiculous for a story.

However, that doesn't mean I'm not going to give a chance, so two more chapters to go.

-Tremble Wolf
Long live Warhammer40k chapter 2 . 10/24/2006
Sweet story
16 | Page 1 2 Next »