Reviews for Empyreal Paradox
Ashriel chapter 7 . 9/21/2015
Kind of disappointed that this was abandoned. I remember reading Garden of Sanctuary a long time ago and thoroughly enjoying it, despite the severely depressing mood and downer it had. The idea that there might be a happy ending after all was intriguing and I poured through the Medusa Javelin and this fic, only to find it all for naught. Your use of excerpts from the original one shot throughout the second fic was really well done, branching out each of the small journal entries and answering a number of questions that had originally been left open, while also providing new questions to keep interest up.

My biggest criticism concerns the same thing that ended up leading to the death of this fic; namely, that you have a habit of being too pulled in by canon. A lot of fanfiction authors who come up with an interesting idea on how to change the world inevitably end up railroading the story right back on to canon's story line, despite how much is supposed to change by their big alteration. While not exactly the same thing that happened here, as you continued to run the story along your own path, you still ended up falling in to the habit of altering events in the story so that they matched up with newly revealed aspects of the Naruto world, and it ended with the only possible conclusion that such a habit could lead to: a dead fic, since there's no way a fanfic of an ongoing work can possible foresee all the revelations that are yet to come from a series.

I think if you'd just made the decision to stick with what you had planned and worked out already, instead of constantly altering things as details were revealed, you'd have managed to finish it, allowing me the opportunity to enjoy it as a reader, instead of helplessly wondering where you were going to take things. Good luck in whatever else you decide to write, though I'm disappointed this came to such an abrupt conclusion.
Dyest chapter 7 . 9/13/2015
This is the most confusing fanfic I have ever read. My brain just turned into a much trying to figure out what is going on...
Yuki chapter 7 . 4/7/2015
Sorry for the guest review. I really didn't feel like logging in but I just have to say my thoughts on your story.

Finally, I finished reading this series. I don't know if I should be glad that I got to read your story or if I should be angry at myself for reading ang incomplete story that was last updated a couple of days before my grade school graduation (I'm in college now).

It's epic and really well writen. Graden of Sanctuary made me cry. That's why I decided to read this, even knowing that I'll be left hanging forever.

Reading this story from the perspective of a person who finished reading the manga, it was fun checking how many things you got right, partially right, or completely wrong. In fairness, considering how old this story is, it's amazing how many you got right. Like Tobi being Obito, Kakashi becoming the Rokudaime, Itachi spying on Akatsuki, or even Sasuke having slight feelings for Sakura. And kudos for the history stuff. You did your best to work with what you had at the time and it came out pretty good. Heck, I don't remember... Had Naruto's parentage already been revealed when you started writing this?

I wish you could have finished the story but I understand that some of the plot elements of your story, having been theories at the time, ended up being completely different from canon. I'm not really a writer so I can only imagine how difficult writing this was. It must have been so hard to attempt to incorporate as much canon as you could.

So there. I wish to know how you planned to end this story but I think a congratulations is in order for having gotten this far in ypur story.

- Yuki-san loves KKM
AkatsukiDragonRose chapter 7 . 3/18/2014
Update please! I love this series!
Rerezhang chapter 7 . 12/4/2013
I love this fanfiction please continue this, even though it's been 5 years i don't care i love this! UPDATE SOON!
Sent from a super iphone sorry for any spelling mistakes
Rerezhang chapter 6 . 11/18/2013
Even though this story is old and has many incorrect information about naruto and what we currantlly know i'm still going to say this, but before i do i have to say, yes i know it is a FANFICTION, so the facts could be the way you want it to be, so if it is dont take it persobally, if it isnt and you like following the story line read this (but you probablly already know) mandara is not a girl but a boy, i dont know where you got the part where he is a boy but he is a girl, it just kind of bothers me. Im not 100% sure if it is true with the Uchiha Clan but im pretty sure that it dosent matter if the first born is a son or a gril, at least in the hyuuga clan it doesnt (ie: Hinata, i believe this cause fugaku is technically the clan leader by the time he marries Mikoto). Yeah so sorry but this is part of my venting, but i just needed o get some of it out and tell you, you probablly dont care and is too busy to read this review. But if you really did read to the bottom, thank you for putting up with me. Phew! That was my longest review up to date!
Sent from a super iphone sorry for any spelling mistakes
Rerezhang chapter 2 . 11/16/2013
Ok im sorry but this was really bugging me. Ok first off the second and third do NOT die at the same time and he died to protect his team or something along those lines. First off if you watch or read naruto and you hace read up to the chunin exams you know that the third dies and te second dose NOT die. Also i tsunade's little sentence it says they both died in the middle of their goal not, that just means they had goal and died before accomplishing them. Sorry but that really bugged me, you probablly know all of this stuff, but i just really had to point it out.
Sent from a super iphone sorry for any spelling mistakes
zero25 chapter 7 . 11/5/2013
This is very very interesting! Please update! I know it's been a while but it's a very very good twist compare to other "Back in Time" fanfics!
Guest chapter 7 . 8/5/2013
sad it's not completed... (
Shermin chapter 7 . 4/11/2013
Where is the next chapter?!
blueeyedhotty chapter 7 . 3/25/2013
It's a good story but not to be rude or anything. But your confusing me like when Sen talking to Mikoto. She had a flashback wright but a sentence a go she was talking to Sen. So could you put flashback on your Flashbacks please. ALSO PLEASE WRITE MORE!
Spartan1 chapter 7 . 3/24/2013
Type your review for this chapter here...
writingpenguin chapter 7 . 3/18/2013
I really wish that this story had not been abandoned... Why did you abandon it again?
writingpenguin chapter 6 . 3/18/2013
I'm amused that Madara is a girl. So if Jiraiya is the Nidaime, does that mean that there are two Jiraiya's in this timeline?
writingpenguin chapter 3 . 3/17/2013
I understand everything a whole lot better now. Hurray. Good job. You know, I was really hesitant to read this, because it was labeled as abandoned, but hey, I was curious and you now what they say about curiosity.
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