Reviews for Equilibrium |
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![]() ![]() ![]() loved the story |
![]() ![]() Very well done indeed. You picked up on Snape's closeness to and mutual understanding with Minerva and Poppy, which many authors don't. Ditto Dumbles's revolting cruelty in handing Gryffindor all those points at the time and place he did. There were too many fine points to list (I'm not too well), but if you're still there, please be assured that your work is still appreciated. Will read the part of the sequel that you've posted. I do think Snape would have been deeply disturbed by and determined to look into Poppy's slide into indifference re. HP, though. Minerva ditto since her doubts were pushed to the back of her mind. A Slytherin of Snape's intelligence and history would immediately draw the correct conclusion as at ~least~ a working hypothesis and investigate urgently. While he's at it, he ought to get himself checked for compulsions as well, and by someone not under Dumbles's thumb. |
![]() ![]() This is a delightful interlude, but what about Poppy? It's dangerous to her for her compulsion to be ignored. Also, why is everyone so slow on the uptake about HP's reactions to the festivities and the food? They're all starting to look thick as two planks. |
![]() ![]() Fie upon McG for calling any Marotter (name from Alethea27) admirable. Their seven years of torture do not excuse Snape's wrongdoing as a Death Eater or his attitude to HP, but those four entitled bullies - who picked on him from the first moments on the first train to Hogwarts for being dirt-poor, ugly, smart, and above all Slytherin - were about as far from admirable as they could get. You portrayed Snape's introspection very well. I'm interested to see if he can manage to make most of the intended changes without blowing his cover. |
![]() ![]() This seems ~very~ excessive. |
![]() ![]() McG seems to have forgotten her suspicion of the compulsion of Poppy. Baaaad mistake. I hope Poppy comes out OK: she's one of my favorite characters and would never neglect any student without someone's (guess who!) forcing her to. Your account of Snape's talk with Draco is perhaps the best example of quintessentially Slytherin persuasion I've seen. |
![]() ![]() So HP has figured it out. Good for him! |
![]() ![]() So Dumbles has spelled (or potioned) at least Poppy - reasonable since she's best positioned to see medical problems. Will McG have the sense to consult Snape? Aaand, dare I hope that you'll give Dumbles what he deserves? I'm sure Snape would gladly help, and with something undetectable. |
![]() ![]() "Captain, I see no reason to stand here and be insulted." |
![]() ![]() Snape's capacity for denial is considerable, especially with respect to a Potter, but he really should be sensing something 'off' about his litany of resentment. His own childhood was so much like HP's, after all; his antennae should be vibrating strongly. |
![]() ![]() Rereading and expect to enjoy it just as much again. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Not bad . |
![]() ![]() ![]() Wow. I bloody love this! It’s so fantastic and so realistic. You barely strayed from canon and I love that because I don’t think things would change immediately. I think you captured the essence of the characters perfectly. I’m so excited to keep reading your stories! |
![]() ![]() thank you for writing! |
![]() ![]() oooh |