Reviews for Lockjaw
Rockabella Suzy chapter 5 . 3/29/2009
I love it! The Rubacava year was always my favourite.
VampireNaomi chapter 5 . 1/16/2007
Wow, I almost missed this update. I am now torn between two emotions. One, I was excpecting this to be a long epic, so seeing it end here made me go "Wait, wait, what?". Two, you tied everything up so perfectly that it's just amazing. This fits right into canon. Exceptional work!

I loved the scene in which Charlie desperately tried to tell everything to Maximino. Poor guy, but it was so funny.
Rei Nokato chapter 5 . 1/14/2007
Very nice! I did like receiving that mental click that said 'aah, canon!' when he asked Lola about the picture, and what followed. You're right; Charlie doesn't get nearly enough time in the spotlight where it concerns fanfiction. You wrote him to great effect, even more so because I have never read him as a main character.

Fantastic, overall.
Scorpicus chapter 5 . 1/14/2007
This story is great. Not only because you used the word ostentatious, but because for something that seemed totally AU, it was brought so cleverly back into cannon in the last two chapters. And the way you write Charlie makes me laugh!

My only quam is picky, but here it is: Try and mix up the sentance structure a bit. There's no shame in a short, snappy sentance every once and a while ;)

Keep up the good work!
Jamel chapter 4 . 12/31/2006
Hey, nice. Great characterisation, and it's good to see Charlie in a fanfic. Olivia is such a great character. Ah, one day I'll reinstall GF just to roll around in the fantastic, Mexican atmosphere. *Nostalgia*
VampireNaomi chapter 4 . 12/29/2006
Wow, now that you managed to tie this story to game canon, it all got a lot more interesting! In the beginning, I thought this took place after the events of Year 2, so having your true plan revealed here was a surprise, and a very welcome one indeed.

Now that Lola has got mixed up in this, I can safely say that future chapters are going to be great. It also fills me with a certain feeling of doom, since some events of the future are now known to the reader (Lola's fate, for one thing).
VampireNaomi chapter 3 . 12/21/2006
Great work! Olivia was spot on this chapter, and poor Charlie never ceases to amuse me. I guess his next step of action is finding some hard evidence, right? I really don't know whose side I should take; I love Nick and Olivia, and at the same time I can't help wanting to see Charlie succeed for a change.
No One In Particular chapter 2 . 10/30/2006
*snaps fingers like the beatniks in the Blue Casket* This is a great story. Your characterization is good and the whole tone is really true to the spirit of the game. So many fond memories... *sniff*
VampireNaomi chapter 2 . 10/27/2006
My, you updated fast. I wish everyone wrote this quickly. In this chapter, you provided a very interesting version of Nick. He almost had a sense of humour, and I'm baffled to see how well it fits his personality. I always saw him as a very dry character, but you've definitely shown another side of him here.

Poor Charlie. I'm actually hoping that he gets the upper hand in this. Everything in his afterlife seems to be against him. The mention of the landlady chasing him made me laugh. :)
VampireNaomi chapter 1 . 10/26/2006
Whoa, brilliant! I should have known that the minute I forget to check this section, someone posts a great story.

The first paragraph is easily the best thing in the story. It sets the mood perfectly and gives a great description of Charlie's current situation. And talking about Charlie, you write him very well. Not many people have written about him, but what you have here is easily the best I've seen in any GF fic.

Considering that I'm such a huge fan of Nick and Olivia, it's no surprise that the ending has me at the edge of my seat. The bit about kissing and how Charlie doesn't understand how it works was a nice and funny touch.

Can't wait for an update! This goes to my favourites and alerts, so that the next review doesn't come as late as this one.