Reviews for BABEL
love and petrichor chapter 7 . 8/28/2009
Wow. That's all I hve to say, wow.

I was fishing through fanfics in pages 230 or something, and I found this after 3 years ago. I was looking for Mac/Stella fics, and I came through this. You said it was your best, so I gave it a try. TBH, when I first saw this, I was a little hesitant, but I motivated myself to read it. To begin with, this was an AMAZING fanfiction, you described the 7 sins with 7 people, showing their flaws and at the end deciding to pray, knowing that God would forgive their sins. I also liked how you put the different languages in different chapters, it was a good addition.

It was also nice to take a break from all the romance la-di-das, to read something new for a change. Overall, this fic was amazing.
Philosoraptress chapter 8 . 8/21/2008
I know that I'm almost two years late for the review, but I couldn't resist. This is one of the most uncommon NY fics I have ever read. You've proved that a good story could be written without cheesiness. This is just what I needed: a break from all the romance (not that I mind the romance, but having that much pairings can be quite confusing). My favourite chapter was the second one, partly because I speak Italian and mostly because it fits Danny's character. The idea of Hawkes being German and Mac being French (or Canadian, you didn't mention anything about his heritage) made me laugh a little, but it was entertaining. The description of Stella was realistic, too. I remembered a scene from a season 1 episode in which she's playing with a baby. It could be very possible that she envied the baby's parents. I loved this story, don't stop writing :D
Mimilo chapter 8 . 7/20/2008
I came across this story while checking out your account. I know you wrote this more then two years ago but I had to review this one.

I really like the idea and how you wrote it. Very creative and original! I liked the use of words from different languages except in Flack's chapter 'Pride'. I'm from The Netherlands and it was very weird to see Dutch words in an English story. Only the first Dutch word was used correctly. Some of the Dutch words are mistranslated and some just don't fit into the sentence. I'm sorry to say that it ruined this chapter for me. But still I admire your guts to do it without actually knowing my language. :)
brightandshiney chapter 8 . 5/7/2008
That was really interesting

i really liked the use of the different languages

especially the Irish, i'm Irish

it was then that i recognized the prayer

It was the first time i saw Irish in a fic,

at first i was thinking she's English not Irish

but you explained that at the end

excellent job.
Old stuff of Mine chapter 8 . 4/9/2008
Wow, you say this is the best you've written, well I haven't read all of your works but this is very impressive. I'm probably a bit biased having a love for languages and being Christian myself. I like it a lot. I just happened to notice that half of Flack's chapter was completely bolded, was that intentional?
labsquint chapter 8 . 8/10/2007
I really enjoyed this fic. The mood was nicely set right from the beginning. I liked the way the list of the seven deadly sins was so elegantly stated and it set the scene/story for those who are not familiar with the biblical story of Babylon. Tying it to NYC as a modern day Babel or it’s modern equivalent was very clever. And just when the reader thinks that there is no hope of anything positive, you hit us with the last line “There’s always the hope of redemption” and that sets the tone for the rest of the piece.

I like the way that sprinkled through each chapter were words in the language chosen for each segment. The readers might not know the language itself (my knowledge of French only helped so much with the Italian, the other languages I didn't know at all) but a lot of the words could be figured out simply due to the context or the theme of the chapter.

The quiet introspection of the characters was very effective. I thought that your best characterization of the group was of Mac. The way that you described his mindset and his struggle to contain his anger through all the blows that had come his way was very realistic. I also like this bit with Flack: “Metro sexual? Get outtalk my face. Vain? Absolutely. He had no problem whatsoever admitting he was a tad vergeefs”

The similar endings linked all the chapters together nicely giving the whole piece a nice feeling of continuity. Even though not all of the characters ended up in a church at the end, you get the feeling that they are all in a spiritual place at the end of each respective section. And that their redemption from the mentioned sin is imminent.

I’m so glad that this was recommended to me; it was a very enjoyable read!
Apodrru chapter 8 . 8/8/2007
I know this was written a while ago, but I just found it. It is an amazing and original story.

I loved the sins you chose for each of the main characters and how you chose to interpret the sin. Very well written - all the more amazing because English isn't your first language.
redrider6612 chapter 8 . 6/24/2007
Very original concept. I enjoyed it. I'm guessing your first language is Spanish? There were a few places where I could tell. Also, you mixed present and past tense (sorry, just one of those little things I ALWAYS notice) which was a bit distracting. Overall, I really liked it.
bando2 chapter 8 . 5/18/2007
This was a really interesting idea and I thought it very well done although I didn't like the chapter on Peyton. But she is a main character that I write and we really know so little about her that it could be because it contrasts so darkly with my own constructed universe. If you know what i mean. Still a cool concept
SallyJetson chapter 8 . 12/30/2006
QUOTE- She envies the small unimportant things in life, like blue boxes from Tiffany and fur coats and limo drivers and private jets ready to leave for Italy at a moment’s notice.

I think this is a very interesting sentence... especially the words 'small' and 'unimportant'. Which word actually applies to the items that you listed?

QUOTE- that maybe envy wasn’t such a bad thing, not when it moves us to be better people every day. And she wonders if she’ll ever be as good as those who surround her. The least she could do was try.

Deep thought here... using a cardinal sin to move one to be a better person... very thought provoking.
SallyJetson chapter 1 . 12/30/2006
I see your personification of present day New York City with the biblical Tower of Babel. I think it is a clever way to start the story!

QUOTE- But if you listen real carefully, below the surface you’ll hear that, for every cardinal sin, irregardless of which original language it was commited,

there’s always the hope of redemption.

Is a foreshadowing?
SallyJetson chapter 7 . 12/30/2006
Flack is full of himself isn't he... but he has his doubts. That is very believable. He did what everyone expected of him and now he is wondering if there isn't more out there for him when the pride in the usual things begins to falter in bringing happiness. What great insight on Flack!
SallyJetson chapter 6 . 12/30/2006
Exactly what I would have chosen for Mac... still waters run deep however and this quote is great!

He’s learned to live with wrath. He’s managed to control it so it won’t cloud his mind when times comes to make decisions and take actions. Once or twice, he had let it come very close to the surface, like when he had argued with Stella over Agent Blue. And he could feel his anger laughing dans son visage.

Wrath (anger) is the most destructive emotion that there is and it is paradoxical that the person who seems to be the most logical and in control is the one with most destructive emotion harbored within his soul.
SallyJetson chapter 5 . 12/30/2006
I wondered what you were going to pick for Lindsay. This is a great take on Lindsay. I know it would have been hard for me to choose any mortal sin for her.

QUOTE- She stops for a minute to ponder why, when she’s about to fall asleep, she reverts to the old Scots words her grandmother used. She then decides it’s not worth the effort, and allows herself to wallow in sadness and stillness.

This quote sums it for Lindsay!
SallyJetson chapter 4 . 12/30/2006
What a throughly rotten picture you paint of Peyton and I like it. I'm not a fan of hers anyway but you really put her in the rank and file of the really nasty! Good job with your description of her in this manner.

Researching the Italian and German and putting them into the previous chapters... admirable... but using the Irish tongue which I am taking to be Gaellic was a great touch!

QUOTE- “Beware not of those that act impurely, but rahter of those who have impure thoughts”, her grandmother used to say. And Peyton’s thoughts have been anything but pure. Or loyal. Or nice.

What a great piece of wisdom.

I am not really clear however on what has caused Peyton's change of heart... maybe I didn't read closely enough or I'm still stuck on not 'personally liking Peyton.'
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