YAY qoutation marks! hahaha. It is much easier to see what is dialogue and what is just part of the narration. Now as for the chapter. I loved Lucius and Severus dueling. That was very entertaining to watch. And as much as I adore Lucius and all of his evilness, I really hope that Voldy gives him a good punishment for messing with something that doesn't involve him and that he was told to stay away from. Good work.

Good start to the story. I have only just found it! Please update soon and keep up the good work.

I am really enjoying this fic but I think you should use "" talking marks when they are talking as opposed to -

excellent

Amazingly compelling story! And the HS are some of the hottest I've ever read, in my honest opinion. More please! :)

Oh yay! An update! More soon please; I'm anxious to see what Severus does with Lucius, and what he and Hermione do afterwards. :)

Great story!

Hello. Just found this story. I love it already! I really like the plot. Very intersting and unique. And the scenes between Hermione and Sev are AMAZING! ;) The only thing I don't like is that you don't use quotation marks. It gets confusing but other than that I really enjoy it. I can't wait for more!

i love your story it is prob my favorite out of all the hgss stories i read. please update soon the suspense is killing me!

good

UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE!

Cool chapter. I'm really liking this story so far. I like the two way parchment idea. Comes in handy. Too bad he had to distory it. Please update soon. This one is really good.

So far so good. i am looking forward to reading how this will come together, and how things work. Please continue to update.

That was beautifully paced. The fact that some moments were written with such clarity, it made them seem more important and vital. The others went by in a blur, this was vaguely confusing at times, but it made them seem like an every day activity for him that made it more realistic and in character. I think you write Snape perfectly, you make him detached and cold in a circumstantial way.

Carry on writing this.

I am in love with you're writing style, and this wasn't a disappointment. I am extremely curious as to how you are going to turn this into a chaptered fic. Your writing is so fast paced, it will be interesting to see how it develops.

This chapter is an excellent start. My main critic is the structuring, the first paragraph is unnescessary and doesn't quite fit in with the rest of the text, and it is unnesscary to move it to later on in the text as you repeat how she came to. It is also hard to establish when time is passing, this is partly due to the style of writing you use in which it is unnesscary, but she seems to jolt through time as the amount of writing changes. These are just minor points though and are mainly due to my personal taste.

You describe events well, you don't spend all your time describing all the scenery you cut straight to the point. This makes your writing so encapturing as you are taken straight to the heart of the moment, which is even more direct as this is written in second person. The way you use the sense to describe the action makes it more ambiguous, making your writing timeless. I probably wouldn't have understood fully who the characters were if I hadn't read the summary, but that just makes it even better a prologue for a long fic. Well done.