|Reviews for Mr Maybe|
| suntzu chapter 15 . 4/3/2011
it would have been an ok story, if you hadn't tried to give the readers an inventory of Harrods, making everyone seem very fashion oriented which they aren't. also there is a lack of consistency in characters with JKR make it OOC and too many dialogue and verbal fighting.
but it plot was good.
| iluvrains7 chapter 2 . 3/25/2011
The scene was not well narrated. It was sort of...written hurriedly just so you can get to the point that Hermione got the love potion by accident and fell in love with Draco.
The different POVs was very distracting. You had the Narrator explaining the scene, few lines, then you switched to another POV. If I were you, I'd rather stick to one POV, probably the Narrator's side. You can use Hermione or Draco's POV now and then, but never too much in a chapter.
But anyway, it is a nice story. Just improve your writing skills, deliver the message well then it will be a good story.
| iluvrains7 chapter 1 . 3/25/2011
i like the first chapter, although its pretty predictable.
what i don't like though is that you used 'Gucci' and 'Chanel' which is actually fine, but in Harry Potter world, no one really cares. I think it's a little bit overboard to use the branded names to describe what they have. Either you can say that it's made by a famous fashion designer witch/wizard would be fine, or just describe the things as it is. No offense though, but i'm starting to like this! :)
| RandomGerman chapter 18 . 3/20/2011
It would really help if you used more deviders for the sections of your story like at the bottom of this chapters. If you are ever up to revising... It would help with readability. Otherwise your story is close to perfection.
| RandomGerman chapter 14 . 3/20/2011
Wow. You are an amazing writer! your story makes my heart sing!
| My name chapter 27 . 3/13/2011
the way you wrote was kinda confusing
and it was rushed at times
but i love it
and the narrator thing?
it kinda irked me at first but i LOVEEEEEEEEEE how you finished it off :)
um the little LOCATION things are kinda annoying and unnecessary... i always skipped over those parts but they kinda got in the way of the flow of the writing
and did you think about writing omniscient the entire time instead of jumping from one point of view to the next? i think it would really change up your writing :) in a good way XD LOL
other than that i LOVED this.
please dont take my criticism in a bad way i really i do love this story :)
i love i love i love
Ciao for now ;)
| slytherinprincess02 chapter 7 . 3/11/2011
| slytherinprincess02 chapter 6 . 3/11/2011
wow this was a nice chapter :D I felt bad for Hermione but I think you did good with this one. I can see Draco slowly falling in love with her XD I'm glad you didn't rush it though, good job keeping people in character!
| ShockedShocker chapter 27 . 3/9/2011
OMG MOST AMAZING FANFIC EVER! I LOVED IT SO MUCH! YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I LOVED IT, IT WAS AMAZING!
| slytherinprincess02 chapter 4 . 3/8/2011
Star Wars? hahahahaha idk. I liked it. Yes I do like the previously on Mr. Maybe things in the beginning. I liked this chapter :D
| slytherinprincess02 chapter 3 . 3/7/2011
Okay, well I hate doing short reviews for every chapter because there isn't much to say unless I would like to sound repetitive. I like your style of writing so keep writing like that (even though you finished the story) I think I will review ten chapters and then one at the end so I can review a decent length review instead of a lame short one. :D Keep up the work
| slytherinprincess02 chapter 2 . 3/7/2011
beautiful :D I love the description in this chapter and I love your narrator voice. Keep writing, peace.
| slytherinprincess02 chapter 1 . 3/7/2011
I absolutely love the voices you used in the story. I could imagine the characters perfectly, and all of them were in character, which is a good thing. You should express your talent by trying to start an original story. Good job :D You make me smile.
| Yume chapter 27 . 3/6/2011
Do you want me to be honest? At first, it's great, I mean the whole love potion thing and the plot is really interesting! But in general... You've overdone it! It should have been simple and to stick to the main plot but it goes wrong, not realistic, too! And the way you narrate it, it's not very clear and actually quite confusing! You should have elaborated it... most of the dialogues are not well identified. I don't want to sound rude or whatever! Just to tell you the truth!
| PersephoneTricked chapter 27 . 2/3/2011
YES! What a lovely end to an amazing story! It was at times hilarious, heartbreaking, darling, and just so lovable I can hardly stand it! I know I will be returning to read this again. Bookmark link? Check. Great Job! :)