|Reviews for Remember Us|
| ShortySC22 chapter 1 . 10/7/2007
Amazing story. I love the way this was told.
| Gwenfrewi72 chapter 1 . 12/28/2006
This made me cry.
| vorwoz chapter 1 . 11/3/2006
really good. Thank you for a touching story.
| Sci F.I. Warper chapter 1 . 11/2/2006
Wow! Wow...just...I am in utter awe of this work. You are the first author whose ever made my breath catch in my throat as I read a fiction. I swear, my heart rose and sank as I read this. Beautiful, beautiful piece. I wish you could write what was left behind by everyone (hint, hint) but this is brilliant alone!
| PLEASExDELETExTHISxACCOUNT chapter 1 . 11/2/2006
Some constructive criticism:
Please use some names. It would much improve the readability of your writing ("one of the female adults asked the tallest of the men" just sounds awkward).
I have trouble believing that Serenity would just be waiting, with the ramp open, for anyone to waltz in. If the locals believe that the ship is up for grabs, why didn't they loot it? A spaceworthy ship, even if it's a battered old Firefly, must be worth something, not to mention the cargo (there's still crates stacked on the dock).
If Chloe is Simon and Kaylee's daughter, bear in mind that she'd view the crew differently from how we know them. Simon would be daddy to her and Kaylee would be mommy - would she really see Simon as a Core-raised outsider?
Also, you might want to correct the misspellings - it's 'mercenary', and 'Shepherd', and 'rare' (not 'rear'), and 'bubbly', just off the top of my head. Vera's a 'she', not an 'it'.
Last but definitely not least, where is everyone? If the others are all dead, and died on the ship, did Chloe chuck them out the airlock? Wouldn't she bury their oh-so-treasured possessions with them? If they went and died somewhere else, I'd have trouble believing that they wouldn't take Simon's kit, Book's Bible (and why is that still here, if he went to New Haven?), and Vera with them.
I know that these are a lot of points, but I'm a very thorough reader. If I didn't think these worth pointing out, I wouldn't take the time. Keep on writing, and have fun!
| smiley451 chapter 1 . 11/1/2006
I have one word for this piece of writing. . . . . . Beautiful! I almost cried, and i didn't even cry when bambi's mom died!
| laumae chapter 1 . 10/31/2006
I really liked this, especially the pictures.
| Harm Marie chapter 1 . 10/31/2006
I liked it. Its different.