|Reviews for The best day of my life|
| LucasHopeful4Life chapter 1 . 8/15/2013
AWESOME STORY FOR TAKARI
| angelwing0034 chapter 1 . 12/5/2010
very sweet story i love your fanfiction i can wait to see more
| twilightgirl08 chapter 1 . 7/21/2009
this is a one word review...
| Samurai.J chapter 1 . 1/2/2009
i have to say, i'm a sucker for romance fics. especially the good ones and this was cetainly a good one. the park was possibly the part that really sold the romance and kind of put more emphasis on T.K.s part in the "date". great recomendation and even greater fic!
| Moonlight Petal chapter 1 . 9/17/2007
This story is so cute!
| franchi chapter 1 . 9/2/2007
it was a really good story!
i really liked it!
I think that if you are more stories you are going to become a better writer!
One thing though, in my opinion you should put quotation marks on your dialogues cuase it can be confusing some times.
but besides that, your story was good!
| Inspired Writer 0101 chapter 1 . 7/8/2007
Sweet story. That's really amazing.
| saruwatarikoumiko chapter 1 . 6/23/2007
') That was so sweet!
Just a little note though, frizz does not mean to be cold. I don't know if it was a typo, but the word for it is actually freeze.
Anyway, other than that, I loved how you used Kari's POV and ... and... AGH everything was soo cute! You MUST continue writing more fics! Please?
| HopeandLight111 chapter 1 . 5/27/2007
Wow that's a really good story! Usually I don't like short storys but yours is really great!
| AlbertaxRose chapter 1 . 5/22/2007
Aww, that is so so cute! I love the idea.
| Stephy-Dearestxxo chapter 1 . 4/27/2007
| puasluoma chapter 1 . 4/5/2007
| kathlaida-princess chapter 1 . 3/22/2007
wow, it was so beautiful! you really did great!
keep up the excellent work!
| Professor Sketch chapter 1 . 3/1/2007
aww, this is so good. i want to be Kari
| Half Kracker chapter 1 . 2/11/2007
I stopped coming here and well, now look where I end up at? Anyway on your fanfic...
You have a wonderful sense of dialogue that's for sure, though you could use a slight bit more description. I know that it's hard to put yourself in a characters point of view, but you always have to remember when doing that you see everything that character sees and nothing else. Sometimes placing yourself into a characters point of view is the hardest thing to do and it also depends on the person as well.
Also, I think that you could have lengthened your story out as well. Instead of making this story into a one shot you could have made it into a two part story.
Like for this chapter you could have talked about T.K and Kari's childhood. How it was like, how they actually met and go from there. The second chapter could be when their older and that's where they stand today spot.
I know that may sound a bit more complicated which trust me, it isn't as complicated as it sounds. Look at Hikari Kamiya Takaishi's fanfic called, "Just a Little Prayer". The fic is based on T.K and Kari's younger life. Not really evolving from younger to older but still... you could possibly do something like that.
Anyway, I still believe you have done a wonderful job on your first fanfic. I think that you shouldn't stop at just one and that you should keep going on from there. Remember, there are a lot of fans and authors out there that has faith in new authors. . Even myself am a believer, because I was one of those authors that think they absolutely "suck" at writing.
With that said, please keep up the excellent work and keep writing.
If you have any questions please feel free to contact me through a PM. I'll be more than happy to help. .