Reviews for The Assassin
Jack chapter 3 . 8/9/2015
You have a very large vocabulary, but in my opinion you should really tone it down, you don't need to use every fancy word you know in every sentence. It feels like you are cramming far more detail than is necessary into every line. For example, "flawless" and "perfect" mean the same thing, and they are both absolute terms, as in once it's flawless it can't get any more perfect. Nor every verb needs an adjective. Apart from this, i respect that this is your style and of course you can continue to do this if you so choose. Another thing, too many commas. They really drag out sentences far longer than is comfortable to read, especially with all the adjectives crammed into them. Apart from that, and I hope I didn't come off as too much of an asshole, I'm loving the subject matter, the plot line so far has me anxiously waiting to see what trails the three will encounter next, and how their relationships will develop, also if any new characters will be introduced, I strongly encourage you to keep writing, just keep tips like these in mind just for the sake of making a more comfortable reading experience. Good luck with your economics finals!
Alpha Astartes chapter 3 . 1/23/2014
I quite enjoyed that one. Certainly set the field for them, and I am curious where we are headed :)
Alpha Astartes chapter 2 . 1/23/2014
There are many Vindicares. And they are not pulled exclusively from guardsmen, they are a wide & varied collective base. From Imperials to Hive worlders to Ferals. Vindicate assassins working alone are not uncommon, but it is just as likely to see they alone as it is for them to work in concert with others. Be them Vindicare or not.
Alpha Astartes chapter 1 . 1/23/2014
Very interesting, the "skull probe" is called a Servo Skull. Mostly used by the Inquisition, rarely used otherwise & only by the more affluent members of society.
theluckyshot chapter 28 . 10/5/2011
Koch is my favorite bloody character he may be a rat but he is a kick-ass rat. You sir are a great writer; I eagerly look forward to the next installment.

AsanineCanine chapter 28 . 9/22/2011
Come on man! Finish this bloody masterpiece! Aside from some tensing errors, its near bloody perfect!
Goddess Ilias chapter 28 . 6/3/2011
This is good, but there is too much sexual stuff, and you are making it very disturbing. I would like that you steered into more of a "wholesome" direction :3
anon164 chapter 28 . 3/9/2011
good story

nearly scared me at the torture parts hehe

continue writing

for the emperor!
BrotherGideon chapter 28 . 2/15/2011
It's like Christmas morning every time you post a new chapter.
Commander Rizwan chapter 27 . 11/24/2010
I hope there will be no rapes there in the next chapter or in the whole story.
GauntElakor chapter 27 . 6/17/2010
Great story. Among the better of what I have read.

Just one thing im confused about:

Some times you put two synonymous words next to each other, one of those words don't add anything to the sentence… This makes it a bit hard to get flow in the text.

Other than that I cant complain.
kyle chapter 27 . 4/12/2010
i have loved the story so far and i a just wondering when your next chapter will be done
Dumbledore Is Gay chapter 27 . 3/31/2010
I sincerely hope you're not thinking of getting rid of Koch Dessler, because he's one of the more interesting characters. As for the Munitions Instructor, I hate her already.

Other than that, you've managed to shock and offend quite a few of my sensibilities with this story, although it still ranks high among my favorites.
1489236 chapter 27 . 1/15/2010
Riveting chapter once again! One of the best stories in Fanfiction, methinks _
Koch ALL THE WAY chapter 27 . 1/15/2010
Wow, this is the only story I have read that involves Female Rape...hope Koch has something up his sleeve to save his ass ;)from this one...or not ;)...either way, it will be interesting
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