Reviews for Formosa Nympha
yayasoccer13 chapter 3 . 12/5/2014
hey i like this , my name is Adara too!
MuseOfOrpheus chapter 3 . 10/29/2010
I love it so far! Everything is well organized and the details in the story really makes it great!

Are you going to finish writing this story?

PS- Do you really know latin? That is so cool!
Wolf and Leopard chapter 3 . 9/4/2009
This story is really good please update soon!
Pinned back Wings chapter 3 . 1/18/2009
I really like this story and how you use latin terms. I really hope you continue this story :)
Fishy Rainboots chapter 3 . 7/10/2008
Good job. Very interesting.
kongming819 chapter 2 . 4/15/2008

This is a very nicely written story. I just studied this story from Ovid's Metamorphoses a few weeks ago in Latin class.

I noticed a couple of errors which you might want to consider:

1. To say the gods wronged Daphne is slightly erroneous. Daphne called on her father, Peneus, the river-god, for help. Instead of giving her the help she might have wanted, he simply metamorphosed her into a laurel tree.

2. "I see you have seen your tree" should be "video vidisti tuam arborem" (vidisti perfect tense, arborem is feminine, thus tuam).

3. I once dreamed there was a river: "Olim somniavi fluminem erat/fuit" (somniavi perfect, fluminem spelling change, accusative, erat or fuit depending on the tense you want to use. The Romans used these two interchangebly at times)

4. "et in flumine, vidi me" (spelling change (flumene - flumine, tense change)

5. why vitrum? Isn't that a woad or dye? Try hyalus, -i. (sicut hyalus). BTW, I think (not sure!) that the traditional simile device for Latin is to use "similis, -e" or "velut" instead of "sicut."

6. for translation, try "like glass it shattered" (confringit can also mean that)

7. cessitque - desivit (why the -que enclitic? polysyndeton?) so "desivit fluere; desivi esse"

8. All in all, you could consider changing the word order to fit the way the Romans spoke back then thus:

"Olim fluminem erat somniavi\et in flumine[,] me vidi\subitoque, similis/velut hyalus, confringit;\fluere desivit; desivi esse" (some nice chiasmus in that last line too!)

I hope this helps!

Again, very nice story.
x-forbiddenrose-x chapter 3 . 12/28/2006
Very well done! Please update soon.
Blackpen Enaru chapter 3 . 11/5/2006
Aphrodite Incarnate chapter 2 . 11/4/2006
This is fantastic! Your writing voice is very compelling, and the dialogue between Diana and Apollo lively and realistic. I like particularly how you portray Diana as the older, more mature and sagacious sibling; usually it’s the reverse, but sometimes I feel that Apollo is so childish, capricious, a bit too fond of the amatory arts. (Even so he’s my favorite god. ;) ) Plus you pull it off quite nicely; I love Diana’s one-liners. And thank you so much for providing all the Latin translations! I myself speak not a word of it, but I absolutely love it when people make use of the Greek or Latin languages when retelling a classical myth – doing so stirs up vivid images of the time, methinks. Again, lovely writing and update soon! Vale.
Blackpen Enaru chapter 2 . 11/4/2006
i really like the latin and how you didn't romanticize a potential abduction story. very well written!