|Reviews for Within My Hands|
| EagleGirl6 chapter 6 . 11/26/2006
Ahh, the brotherly love, it's wonderful! Who wouldn't love a protective Sam taking care of big brother. And you do it so well. Your description at the beginning of Dean's head motions and his instinctual searching for Sam was so clear, I could be watching this on TV:
Once he saw that Sam was sitting next to him, he allowed himself a small moment to breathe...
Ooh, man I love Brenna! Love that she's there to watch out for our boys, whatever needs to be done. This was awesome:
Sam knew from the expression on Paul’s face that Brenna’s eyes had turned predatory. He glanced briefly at Dean and saw the shadow of his brother’s usual cocky grin turning up his mouth. He looked like he was…proud of her.
Have I mentioned that the character of Joss is really intriguing? He's caught between his family and the Winchesters, but manages to balance it to the end. And I wonder what Brenna *saw* in Beth. I love these lines:
“You gonna try to kill him?” “No,” Joss answered, horrified by the thought. “You can stay,” Sam answered.
Such a great description of Dean's recognition of Sam, I so smiled at this:
Sam never doubted them. Never doubted him.
Wow, Brenna changing Dean's bandages and talking about the nightmare witch lore. You did a great job sneaking some exposition in there with the h/c we all love. How much did I want to be Brenna there...
Your description of how Dean finally let Brenna *see* him was great. I loved this line:
"What she saw, the Dean she saw, was both brighter and darker than she could have thought... If his father or brother were ever taken from him, Dean’s fight with the darkness inside of him would be epic."
Hehehe, this was cute, nice job keeping the lighter parts mixed in with all the angst:
And if he recalled correctly, the end result was that he’d been taken and tortured by a banshee... “So not my fault.”
What a great moment for the happy place; that's one of my favorite scenes from season 1. Good choice! And how creepy is this witch, with her blue eyes and child-like voice. Yikes:
“Clever hunter,” she pouted. “Why won’t you play with me?”
“Not this time, hunter,” she cried out, a demented, angry child’s voice.
What a wonderful visual, I love how you have them all connected to protect Dean and defeat the enemy. This was just awesome:
Seeing Dean lay with Brenna on one side, a hand on his face, Sam on the other, a hand on his hand, and Brenna and Sam’s hands clasped across his body, he realized he’d never seen anyone more connected to life as this man who was close to death.
Yay! Sam's in Dean's nightmare with him, the brothers're gonna lay some smack-down on that Freddy Kruger-wannabe witch!:
This Dean wasn’t bruised and broken. This Dean wasn’t weak from fever. This Dean… was pissed.
“You will beg me for death before this is over,” his voice was low and carried with it an undertone that Sam had never heard from his brother before.
All the action between Dean and the witch is totally well written, I can see it happening, especially when Dean is using his knife while they're in the circle. Well Done! And this line sums up the whole thing:
Once he’d believed that it was really Sam there with him, he never doubted that he could defeat her. Without Sam, he was alone in the dark. With him, he was powerful.
Wonderful chapter, really. Your dialogue, descriptions of both the action sequences and in between, all vividly described. Just one question. Are Dean and Brenna gonna have any time *alone*? Please? Poor kids got interrupted in your last story!
Thanks for the chapter, sorry it took me so long to review:)
| shywalk chapter 8 . 11/26/2006
Even though FF has been a ... I got to read this..wonderful end to a great story...one of my favs
| holychocolatestarfish chapter 8 . 11/26/2006
Ah. A beautiful ending. I love the song too. And I can't wait to see what you come up with next. I love your writing!
| Allegra chapter 8 . 11/26/2006
Great stuff! I'm glad I didn't have to wait long for that last part. Your plans for another story sound fantastic. I shall be waiting with baited breath!
| stealthyone chapter 5 . 11/26/2006
How much do I love Sam’s soothing manner around and fierce protectiveness of Dean? So much. *squishes Sam*
Poor Dean, suffering physically and mentally, especially mentally, with those horrible nightmares of seeing his family die. I’m so glad he seems to be a bit more with it by chapter’s end.
One thing that I really liked about this chapter is the revelation that Dean thought he was going to die when he first faced the witch, and that he’d planned to take the witch with him. Great little twist to the story, and oh so painful for Sam to hear. Nicely done.
It wasn’t that she loved him – it wasn’t that she didn’t love him, either.
I really like how you phrased that, how you described her feelings for him.
What kind of life did she lead, she wondered, where she could pack a bag and take off leaving only a note, having no idea when she’d return?
“Exactly the kind I like,” she muttered as she watched the dust fly in her rear-view mirror.
*g* Those two paragraphs perfectly sum up her character, I think.
“Seriously, man,” Sam spat at him, his eyes hard. “All Dean has done is sacrifice for your family… for our family.” He looked back at his brother as Dean’s head tossed once to the side, then back again toward Sam. “I don’t think it’s too much to ask to… to just goddamn believe in him.”
I love Sam’s dialogue here, the anger that edges his words and his need for people to just believe that Dean will beat this.
“Dean, hey, take it easy. You’re safe. I won’t let anything hurt you,” Sam almost winced at that promise.
I really like this, from Sam’s soothing words to his worry that he can’t keep that promise.
“I never really thought about what leaving for Stanford would mean for you, man. I just wanted to get away… from hunting, from Dad, from that life. I never wanted to leave you.”
Aww, Sam. *hugs him*
“Quit looking at me like that, Sam,” Dean muttered.
“Like I’m gonna disappear.”
Poor Sam, he’s just so darned worried.
“Too dark, Sam,” he said, his voice low and frantic. “Turn on the lights.”
“The lights are on, Dean,” Sam whispered back, trying for soothing but hitting somewhere around not-panicked.
Great job capturing Dean’s fear and panic and Sam’s worry. Oh, *boys.*
Then he heard her laugh. It sounded like something slithering through dried leaves.
How could he tell him that he’d called Dad and that he’d told Dad it was a nightmare witch, but that Dad hadn’t believed him? Not only not believed him but had hung up on him.
Bad John! *smacks John*
“Sam,” the name fell from his lips like a plea. Not him, please, not him. I can’t… not without Sam…
Oh, *Dean.* He really would be utterly lost without Sam.
“No one is touching him,” Sam stated.
I *love* Sam being all fiercely protective.
“You cut your hair.”
I love this last line of this chapter. Trust Dean to make such an observation in the middle of such a life-or-death situation.
| LenJade chapter 8 . 11/26/2006
I really liked this story. The pacing is great, so are the discriptions. You spend an equal amount of time in the physical as well as the emotional details. Which is everything in a story like this. The only complaint I have is... Well, you say the boys are close and you discribe it, but it doesn't seem justified. If that makes sense. Brenna is a great character and I like her with Dean, but she highlights the selflessness of Dean and his fixation on his brother. Which would be a good thing, if she didn't focus on the darkness of that aspect of Dean.
Through her eyes, it is sad and unhealthy and not equally returned, Dean's devotion to his brother. Sam just is half-assed when it comes to supporting his brother. Dean never lets him in enough to allow Sam to be equally devoted. I always liked to picture the brother's relationship a part of the light in their lives. That Dean's selflessness and devotion feed the light qualities more than the darkness inside him.
In other words, I'm very glad you are thinking of doing a story that focuses on the brother's relationship and flashbacks of their childhood. Seeing how Sam equalizing their bond would be great. Maybe he can protect Dean and that lands him in trouble or something. Or we can see instances where Sam chooses Dean above anyone or anything else.
I know this is a problem because Sam left for school and essentially left Dean, but maybe he did that to protect him. Dean is hurt more offten than not protecting Sam, so if Sam were to leave, wouldn't he be safer? I always loved the last episode of season 1 where Sam chooses Dean over their father, trusts his brother wholeheartedly, because all the time growing him Dean was careful to rarely choose either Sam or Dad and kept them bridged, but put in the same position, Sam chose Dean, hands down.
Maybe things like that would be good to show how the two ground eachother, guard eachother. It's just so clear in your writing that Dean's got the short end of the stick from life, from his bastard father, from Sammy (who tries to be there for Dean, but always falls just a tad bit short). It's heartbreaking really, and he deserves something to stand strong and center in his heart. He can't even have Brenna, though he does have her she just can't be with him physically most of the time.
So... awsome story. Awsome writing. You're words really paint a picture that you can fall into. I am totally caught up in your Dean and hope for the best for him. I can't wait for more!This is totally great stuff... LOL...
| LenJade chapter 7 . 11/26/2006
I think it's unbearably sad that Dean can't be mad at their father for fear of Sam running away with that anger. Sam needs to hold back on voicing his own discontent so his brother can allow himself to feel his own feelings. (not that I blame Sam. I totally hate John too. If I were Sam, I'd bitch about him ALL THE TIME in hopes of getting Dean to give up on him, but of course that is the TOTALLY wrong thing to do... sigh)... Anyway. I hope the boys can heal each other... Well mostly Sam heal Dean... It seems like they are both reaching for each other in this chapter, but aren't quite making it. I hope they can get closer so that they Sam can support Dean so that he can be a strength as well as a weakness...
| AuroraDannon chapter 8 . 11/26/2006
I liked it. It was fun. I would love to see how Brenna would reach to some of the season 2 stuff with the boys. Or at least hearing about it. Would she feel Dean dieing? I think it would be somoething interesting to read. Even a few shorts about phone calls or messages to deal with Gordon issues. Granted we still have to wait to see what else is going to happen there. :P Good writing.
| Nana-Riiko chapter 8 . 11/26/2006
THis is seriously amazing! I really loved this story and had to say you did a really great jobn. I'm definately going to check out some of your other only thing I would like added is teh pronounciation for the creole and gaelic, it might be easier to get a feel for their accents.
| irishgirl9 chapter 8 . 11/26/2006
This was an amazing story! Great song selection. I aslo loved the use of the Robert Frost poem. I liked that although Dean defeated the witch he did it with help from Sam. It's the bond of the two brothers that pulls you into the story. Thanks for sharing it with us.
| Onari chapter 8 . 11/26/2006
And we got to the end...*Sigh*
After last chapter's review, I'm going to try to be less rambling!
1st - Hey, did you got them separate rooms from the beginning so that Brenna and Dean could be together? You naughty writer!
2nd - Thanks God Brenna's got spine and can call a cab! Lot's of MarySues seem unable to find the number ;) That's why I like her :D
“You wanna drive?”
Sam smiled and held out his hand for the keys."
-Good. Maybe I'm elaborating too much, but I think it's very meaningful whenever Dean hands over the keys of his car. Sometimes might be because he thinks Sam needs to distract himself, okay. And of course, they need to change places from time to time if they spend their lives on the road, out of a simple question of physical resistance! But some other times, like what I see in this one, it's rather Dean's way to say "Man, I need you to take control for a while, I'm not really okay yet"
"He heard Dean sigh over the rumble of the Impala’s engine as he shifted to a comfortable position in the passenger seat, reaching over with his left hand to clap Sam on the shoulder.
“Damn, it’s good to be home.”"
Hehe, I knew it! Great ending!
Right, before I forget, there was this other thing I like about your writing. It's probably silly, but you unlike other authors in the fandom know when to use "Sam" or "Sammy". ¿You know what I mean? In some stories, Dean's calling Sam "Sammy" all the time, probably because they think it's cuter, and well, it is, but it completely misses the point of how important it is then when Dean uses the pet name and Sam chooses not to correct it.
And...dammit, I think there was something else I wanted to say, but I can't remember now :(
Anyway, I'm really looking forward to read your next story, especially given the way you present it :)
Thanks for this amazing ride, babe! I've really really really enjoyed it!
| Onari chapter 7 . 11/26/2006
Oh...Look at this, the alerts are slowly coming back to live!
Well, dear, I wanted to tell you that I've read all your story, and -c'mon, you already know it-...I've loved it! But honestly, last days've been a chaos and I have no idea of which chapters did I or did I not review :s
So, speaking of 6th (apparently I didn't): Hehe, I liked how you described it as "the storm after the calm after the storm". Dean confronting Joss' parents about not believing their sons was very emotional (aw, blessed subtext), And Sam is so strong and caring during the whole ordeal...
"“Just go,” Sam said in a low voice, wanting to get his brother out of there." I have a thing for these lines, when the boys are clearly sounding protective, even menacing. I can hear them,I swear. And since usually it's Dean who uses that tone, it's nice to have Sam taking the role for a change.
...Sorry, I got distracted. It's like I told you, I can't scan the fic just to point things out in the review. I find myself reading it all over again (some paragraphs more than once!)
(And right now I'm referring to way back to the motel bit. And this sweet "“Sit down, Dean,” Sam said softly." :D
"“Sam,” he whispered a plea for understanding. He wanted to reach his hand out again, to feel Sam’s warm grip firm on his wrist, pulling him out of this, pulling him back, anchoring him. He didn’t move. The arms holding him flexed a little tighter around his shoulders and he let out a shuddering breath, his eyes on his brother, watching his brother’s steady, worried eyes.
“I’m right here, Dean,” Sam whispered. “It’s really over, man, okay?”" What can I say to this? :D:D
"“It’s dark in here,” Dean muttered through his hands." And my heart clenches...
"Dean continued his voice low and slurred as sleep finally lay claim, “I just want to go home.”" And it breaks completely. Damn you!
-Nice post-nightmare talk.
"“Dean, you're just a person,” she said on a sigh. “You’re not invincible, and no one needs you to be.”
“Sam does,” he said, his voice cracking on the last word.
“No, he just needs you to be his brother. And now that he’s grown up, that means he needs you to let yourself need him.”" Yay! Go, Brenna!
And well, maybe one of the most beautiful lines in along time...
"“Dean,” she said softly. “Sam is your innocence.”"
Ok, enough! Take care!
| Luca chapter 8 . 11/26/2006
Your writing is absolutely briliant. I don't know if it's the great storyline, good pace of the story or just your writing technique (and I do like a bit of Dean angst without too much mush) but you are a natural.
Please keep writing...I know you must also have a life but hey, at the moment this stuff is keeping me going.
Thanks for your story.
| stealthyone chapter 4 . 11/25/2006
Ooh, yummy, juicy h/c and angst. Nice. *g*
I liked many things in this chapter: The peek into their past, with Dean showing Sam how to throw knives; the revelation that Paul was once a hunter (very cool!); poor Dean thinking that Sam is dead; Sam being so gentle and soothing with Dean; and Dean getting irked when everyone talks like he’s not right there hearing what they say.
The darkness was complete – it wrapped around him, seeped into him, and began to fill the hole inside of him.
Great description here. Oh, *Dean.*
When he was twelve and Dean sixteen, his brother had taught him how to throw knives at a target. Sam remembered that Dean’s whole bearing had been different with this lesson – different from when he’d taught him to tie his shoes, ride his bike, or throw a football… Sam knew immediately when the lessons began that this wasn’t for enjoyment; this lesson had a purpose.
I like this, not only for the basic info it reveals, but for how it shows the way Dean’s attitude changed when he had important things to teach Sam.
“I’m here now, man,” Sam whispered. “I’ve got you.”
Aww. Such a good little brother. *pets Sam*
Dean’s eyebrows pulled together and he pressed his lips into a thin line. He was pain.
Love that last line. Nice.
His voice wasn’t the voice of the warrior, but the voice of a much younger Dean, a boy that Sam hadn’t heard in a long time… a voice that Dean hadn’t allowed John to hear since he was nine.
Good reference to the shtriga. That certainly was a turning point for Dean.
“I got him,” Sam said. No one else was carrying him out of there.
I love Sam’s fierce need to be solely responsible for Dean at this moment.
With Joss’ help, he eased Dean into the bed of the pickup and climbed in to sit behind him, holding him steady. Dean’s head rolled against his chest, and Sam put a protective hand over his brother’s forehead, holding him.
Lovely image, so nice and tender … makes my h/c heart so happy.
Dean felt him shift and his hand flew up to grip his wrist. Sam went back to his knees, looking at his brother in surprise.
“Don’t,” Dean said, not looking at Sam.
“I wasn’t going to leave, Dean,” Sam soothed. “I was just getting out of the way.”
Dean shook his head once. “Sam,” he said, his voice cracking. “Just, stay.” Sam nodded.
I really, really like this part, with Dean *needing* Sam to stay with him. Good job with the dialogue and physical details.
| stealthyone chapter 3 . 11/25/2006
Poor, broken Dean and worried Sam.
I love how strong Dean is as Cale tries to mess with him. That’s our Dean. *pets him*
I also love Dean wanting to protect Sam from Cale; Sam’s desperation to rescue Dean; Sam defending Dean to Beth; and Sam’s faith in Dean’s ability to withstand Cale’s attacks. Such good brothers they are to each other.
“Not that you could do anything about it anyway,” Riggs said, taking a step toward Sam.
“No, but I might,” said a voice off to Sam’s left.
I so love this, the way Joss shows up and helps out.
The acute burn in his arms, the throb in his face and from the cut on his hand, and the terrific ache in his chest filling the hollow where Dean always seemed to be, threatened to overpower him.
Oh, *Sam.* He’s just not right without Dean at his side.
The floor he lay on was cold and hard… cement? Stone? And… they’d taken his knife. He sighed. He really liked that knife.
*g* Of course Dean would think about something like that at a time like this.
The broken rib pierced painfully through the skin on his side and he cried out as he felt the skin tear from the inside out. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t brace himself, and his walls were starting to waver.
“That all you got,” he rasped.
And naturally he’s a smartass even though he’s hurting so.
As he slipped under the wave of awareness, he found himself wishing for his brother’s hand in his.
Oh, *Dean.* He needs Sam rightfreakin’now.
He was worried, impatient, and hurting. He wanted answers and he wanted action. He wanted his brother back.