|Reviews for Shutdown|
| hey yo chapter 1 . 10/9/2012
my name is daniel zbrzezny and I'm a wannabe marine yo. be wearin the uniform pretendin to be some kinda big shot but all i really do is slice cheese at stop n shop lmao i'm a cheese man majoring in comp sci at queens college but i look like i have downs syndrome and also have low testosterone lol
anyway i loved the story. good shit brosef. keep writing because its really good and shows a lot of promise. love it so much :) good stuff right here keep it coming
| Jessi Tsuki chapter 23 . 2/20/2012
I haven't spent time with the written word in a while but I recently watched the Heat Guy J series and I decided to see what fanfiction had to offer. This fic didn't disappoint me and I read it in one sitting, thank you for the great story _
| Embers of Inspiration chapter 1 . 11/18/2008
Well hello! I cannot claim to have acutally read your story, which is a shame because I'm sure it is absolutely fabulous. However I'm not familiar with the catagory or the characters.
So why am I reviewing?
I just wanted to congratulate you for having over 90,0 words in your fic. That is a LOT of work. Keep it up, November is only halfway done!
| Mollzxkor chapter 23 . 5/10/2008
This was an amazing story. The plotline was awesome, just like something you'd actually see in the show and you wrote the characters perfectly. I loved this fic! I seriously cannot say enough good things about it.
| Inarae chapter 1 . 3/18/2008
There is a severe shortage of Heat Guy J fic. This makes up for it. Thank you! (incidently, I read the whole thing. I just felt guilty for not reviewing afterwards, and came back.)
Thanks for writing and sharing!
| kyokoaurora chapter 23 . 8/19/2007
I love this story so much! It is perfection, a masterpiece. If this was made into a second series it would be perfect! Love it! Catch ya later!
| arukas03 chapter 4 . 6/8/2007
Okay, so here is my second attempt at a review for this story. The first was rudely interrupted by a JAVA update that closed internet explorer. Luckilly i dont believe in omens. :P
Anyway, i love this story. I just finished watch Heat Guy J for the second time and i totally agree the series is underrated. I was looking around for a good length fic to fill the void the ending leaves and bam! there was yours.
The characterization in the story is great, you really capture the soul of everyone well. Im not sure how Shun would act now so im only guessing your portrayal of him is valid.
I also like the little details in this story, like the fact that Kyoko i a literatture major and therefore can lecture Shun. Awesome.
But now i have to think of a criticism so here goes. The names. Using the japanese word usagi to represent bunny was in my opinion an odd choice. Why not call her bunny? And when you refer to people calling Daisuke Dai, it confuses me. Didnt they always call him Dais (like dice really)?
Anyway, those are seriously minor criticisms put in to give a rounded review. You should be proud of the story and i fully intend to read the whole thing. So look out for at least one more review from me. And now at 1:05 AM (damn you fanfiction!) its time to put the laptop down and back away.
| Mirowood chapter 1 . 1/30/2007
As I sit back and look at this, I feel more and more in awe... I now truly understand your situation concidering this masterpiece of fanfiction you've written here.
I have no real constructive critcism to give unfortunately, seeing as I'd probably need a second readthrough to make sense of many of the subtler nuances. So to put it simply, this does not feel even in the slightest as if it were written in a month's time. With all the layers present it would seem as if you had spent a year or more on the project. (Particularly, regarding matters of Celestials.)Thus, I am damning myself for taking longer to read it then you took to write it.
Also the ending was very, very fitting.
Hope to send you a more in-depth review at a later date, or maybe a discussion will do in that regard.
| Spinereader chapter 23 . 11/30/2006
That first part was initially very discombobulating, but I figured out what was happening and why it was happening a little later. How on earth did you think up that kidnapping scheme? It's so clever!
You know, from that first romantic scene (and I wish that didn't sound like a euphemism for sex scene) with Daisuke and Kyoko I assumed everything would be as soppy as that. But no, apparently after that they went back to being their cute, flirty selves. I'm glad the final scene with them wasn't drawn out and cheesy like it could have been. We didn't even see them (or even Phia and Shun) kiss. I rather liked that for two reasons since it leaves things to the readers imaginations and assures readers who don't like either pairing won't have it thrown in their faces.
Surprise, surprise, I adored the final funeral scene. How did I know you'd end it with Clair? ;) He was as I expected; devoid of platitudes and faux praise. His father didn't deserve it and I knew his son wouldn't be the type to give it despite. Actually what he said had an air of Daisuke about it, but thankfully didn't come off like he was quoting Dai. Instead it just demonstrated that either are as different from one another as I'm sure they'd assume.
| Lildolphin88 chapter 23 . 11/29/2006
Alright! Perfect ending to perhaps the best HGJ fic out there! *Lildolphin88 conjures up and opens bottle of champagne* A toast to Fetchie's fic! _ NaNoWriMo should like this...hope ya win the contest! _
| Spinereader chapter 22 . 11/29/2006
Clever ending there! If this site didn't have the feature that says if a story was finished or not, I'd believe that was the end, it's a very cute way to end the story. But I'm sure whatever you have planned for the big finish will be great.
Giovanni the patient! Aww, that's adorable. Poor guy must hate being waited on.
I love the scene with the brothers. No great declarations of affection or tears and hugging, just as they wouldn't in canon.
Wow, that has to be my shortest review yet! Sorry about that.
| Spinereader chapter 21 . 11/29/2006
Ah, wow! That death scene was just beautiful! It about got me misty. I loved the abrupt mood swing at the end. Expect the unexpected when dealing with Claire Leonelli!
Yay for Nona! At first I was thinking Clair had done it, which is probably what I was supposed to think. She's starting to get a lot less frustrating.
Nice description of the funeral and Clair's take on it. When I wrote the story about him saying goodbye to his father I never really thought ahead to what that would be like.
I noticed the line about the will and got a little squeal of delight from it.
All in all a wonderful chapter!
| Spinereader chapter 20 . 11/29/2006
Very good pacing, it kept me from being able to look away. Distractable as I am, that's quite the feat.
Everyone got so much character development here, without it detracting from the action. The Boma/Usagi scene I found especially moving. I was rather nervous it would turn maudlin, but thankfully it didn't go that far.
Hey, finally reality begins to seep into the bed of feathers otherwise known as her mind. I just wanted to jump up and yell, "Well finally!"
Shun's part at the end was great, though the first part of that felt like an information dump to me. I'm not sure if it's because it was all lumped in there together or that it was mixed with a lot of information we already knew. Either way I felt it interrupted the pacing for a moment there.
Just out of curiosity, how could Phia's gun smell like her perfume? I've never smelled metal that retained the smell of anything, and certainly not enough to waft upwards. Was it what the gun was wrapped in that smelled? Or is it just the memory of the smell?
I liked J's summary of Dai. he's pretty deep for a machine.
| Spinereader chapter 19 . 11/29/2006
For some reason I was sure at some point that you'd said Nona and Leorza were related. I'm guessing (hoping!) not, because that would just make things all the squickier. Of course I get the feeling he's just toying with her for his own benefit, given the way he's talking.
Ah, so Shun took things in the direction I assumed he would when he called J to him. I wasn't sure if he'd be able to with the Grendal factor hindering him, but it sounds like he's worked around that. Good for him!
I love how you have Kyoko get into her Mission Impossible outfit every time something goes awry. That never fails to amuse me, mostly because there doesn't seem to be much of a reason for it. I wonder where she bought that and why.
Ah, more bickering! Is there anyone Gio won't get in a fight with? Of course this time it's not really his fault, since Dai is so defensive.
| ladymars chapter 21 . 11/27/2006
I'm glad to see that you let Shun and Nona make up. If anyone deserves to be happy, it's him.
And Leorza met with a fitting death. Dirty bastard deserved it even if it might tear Clair to shreds again.
And they still have one last problem to deal with, of course. And with Dice and Kyoko the only ones conscious at the moment. I hope those two will get the oppertunity - sometime - to finally tell the other how they feel.
Good job, as always. I can wait to see how you wrap all of this up.