Reviews for Shutdown
Spinereader chapter 9 . 11/15/2006
This review won't be that long, I'm afraid, because most of the chapter really wasn't noteworthy enough to comment on. Not bad, just not that exciting.

I loved the end exchange a lot though. The way you played it out and built up to the excitement rather than just saying "The boy glanced up, caught sight of his father and gasped". It had a lot of drama this way, without it seeming like you were piling it on or playing it up.
Spinereader chapter 8 . 11/14/2006
I wish I'd been as fun as Monica is as a pre-teen. She's so spunky.

Am I supposed to hate Trinity? Because if so it's working. She's certainly unlikable, and not in that love to hate her way either.

That entrance into the city didn't go too smoothly for them, did it? I think this was is far more entertaining though.

Hey I'm finally caught up on reviews! You're lucky, I usually read up to the last chapter posted and just review that one. But since I'd been doing a per chapter review up until now, I figured you deserved more of the same.
Spinereader chapter 7 . 11/14/2006
I hate to keep comparing characters, but Usagi is reminding me a great deal of Ayanami Rei from Evangelion. She's quiet, serious and obedient, but it's obvious there's more to her than on the surface. Hopefully she won't take as long to break out of her shell as Rei did.

I love the storm scene! I always pictured Giovanni as being great with kids. But scruffy eyes? How can eyes be scruffy? I get this weird image of dusty lashes and dirt on the whites of the eyes. Also I could be wrong but I remember his eyes being a deep blue. It's a shame I only have one good picture of him where you can see his eyes (and the scene is greyish greenish so you can't tell) or I'd check.

I assume all will be explained with the sickeningly nice!Leorza, right? Because now it's so off putting I don't know what to make of it.
Spinereader chapter 6 . 11/14/2006
Wow! Okay, lame reaction, but an honest one.

The first part was so plausible! This is exactly how I imagine Claire's youth to be like. Especially those dear ole heart to heart talks. Those memories are certainly the best part of this fic so far.

That conversation between Shun and Giovanni was very amusing. Of all people to be chatting in the middle of the night! You've managed to give Giovanni so much personality! Heck, even Shun's showing one!

Good plot twist in the end. For a while I had this sense, there but not there like what's left over at the end of a dream, of Leorza's identity, but brushed it off before I knew I was doing so. The suspicious name and the mentions of underworld activities just made me fishy.
Spinereader chapter 5 . 11/14/2006
You know, I almost feel sorry for the beast master. Almost being the operative word here.

Trinity is a very frightening individual. She reminds me of Kougaiji's stepmom on Saiyuki, if you know that series. Of course whether Trinity's evil or not remains to be seen.

Loved the message to Mauro and the man's reaction. I think Mauro spends almost the entirety of the series fretting over something.

I get the feeling you truly love writing Monica. You seem to have so much fun with her! She's awesome when she's telling everyone off.

I'm rather amazed no mad slashers have jumped on that "Let's go pay for being such bad boys" line. You have to admit it sounds incredibly dirty, especially after the line about waving that silly little toy around. Just be glad this fandom is small or you'd be drowning in squees.

I'm off to watch House M.D. I'll finish reviewing after it's over.
Spinereader chapter 4 . 11/14/2006
Good, Monica told her "Ken-chan" where she went. I'd been wondering if a flabbergasted Christina would show up eventually. Wow, I've watched this series too much if I know Monica's mom's name. Heck, I even know the name of the girlfriend of that gambling addicted poet (Lena, BTW).

I can SO see Giovanni wolf whistling at Kyoko. I'm not as sure about the thumbs up, but I guess it's possible. Why's he still call her miss, though? Did she not give her name or is it just a formality?

Along those lines, I loved everyone's reaction to Kyoko's swimsuit. That has to the the first time I've ever seen Clair so much as blink at a female!

I need to re-read Kyoko's speech when I'm not multi-tasking and snacking on crackers and ginger ale, since I didn't see as much significance in it as vampy did. It was great though.

I see you now have other reviews other than me now. Yay! Now, I must find some clever way to lure them over to my two HGJ fics and brainwash them into reviewing. *rubs hands together*
ladymars chapter 7 . 11/13/2006
You haven't failed to deliver; it's still good.

I'm having a great time connecting the dots here. I can't wait to find out if I'm right. You keep hitting me with things that I don't expect, but I like that. I like authors who leave a few of those dots without other ones to connect to.

And I'm glad you brought Boma into the story. he's my favorite character. _

I am still working in the fandom - it's slow going, but I'm still working. I'm hoping to have a new, long one-shot up soon. Thanks to too many late nights re-watching my DVDs and your wonderful piece, I've finally felt the urge to get back to my writing.

And don't ever be afraid to leave a review. I know a really good one can make an author's day. ;3
ladymars chapter 2 . 11/13/2006
Ok, you've got me. I'm two chapters into your story and I'm absolutely stunned.

There are so few Heat Guy J fics out there, even fewer of this lenght, and of this quality. I'm impressed. Even more impressed that you're doing it for National Novel Writing Month.

I love where you're going with this so far ( all two chapters that I've read. () ) and I can't wait to see where it goes from here.

Good work.
sweets to sweet chapter 1 . 11/12/2006
Wow.. very good story, it seems very original and could easily be imagined to be what the creator would do if he did a sequel. Your defenitly using your vast vocabulary to your advantage. Your also doing a great job on adding all the characters to the plot, (even trinity from the manga) and the way you describe all the characters seems to be very accurate. I dont think Boma has appeared yet though.. but im sure he will.
Spinereader chapter 3 . 11/9/2006
You just reminded me why Giovanni's my favourite character, next to our dear little vamp of course. He's so much fun and always got in such good lines on the show.

Speaking of Giovanni, why wasn't Clair planning to go with him? They both like Dai well enough. Why'd he want to go in secret?

Usagi is here! I can't wait to see your explanation for why she's there.

I assume Boma is going to pop up soon, am I right? I figured he'd be with everyone on the boat, but since he wasn't mentioned I guess not.

Oh, I read your profile (which is far more interesting than mine). Yay, another Nightwish fan! I love them. Do you like Within Temptation? They always reminded me of Nightwish except the singer's voice is higher and non operatic. Ugh, I'm getting annoyingly chatty.

I'll be computerless until Monday or Tuesday, so don't be discouraged when the reviews drop off tomorrow.
Spinereader chapter 2 . 11/8/2006
Ah, you must be putting these chapters up daily. I'm impressed, it must be hard keeping up the pace of writing, editing and posting every day.

Thank you for replying to my review. It means a lot when writers go to the trouble to do that.

I can't believe we got a J monologue. I didn't even know androids had them! However it did strike me as the kind of things he'd think about.

Shun's sour as ever I see. "The beetle doesn't need to sting." That killed me! Three guesses where his bug reference came from.

Vamp boy's greeting kind of shocked me. I figured it must be Dice (until I remembered where he was) or Giovanni before I discovered who it was. I had no idea he'd would use a word like "yo". I can't really remember what greetings he uses in the series, usually he seems to just start in with a smart remark or say "It's me". Did he ever say that in the series, or has having a former street rat for a friend rubbed off on him within the past year?

Glad to see Phia again. I always wished her role were bigger in the series. She seemed like such an enigma, like Julia from Cowboy Bebop. I find myself wondering if Giovanni will hit on her again if they run into each other. He was so twitterpated with her the last time.

Hey, I got one of the stories up. A bit old and a bit gloomy, but not bad. Better ones will follow.

Thanks for contributing to this section. This series has the smallest fandom of any licensed, readily available, and aired on television series I've ever seen. Not one measly fan site, except for two fan listings. It's such a shame!
Spinereader chapter 1 . 11/7/2006
The beginning was incredibly flowery, but I'm relieved to see it gets better after that.

Everyone seems very in character with quirks intact. And Clair/Claire (never known which was right) is as delightful here as in canon. Why's Giovanni calling him master though? I was thinking he always called him Vampire, since Claire once said he hated the term master and wanted everyone to call him Vampire. But if I'm mistaken and Giovanni's called him that through the series, feel free to roll your eyes and me and mutter baka under your breath.

I love Kyoko and her still burning crush for Daisuke. They're one of the two million couples I ship in this fandom.

It's nice to see this section is beginning to grow a little. I really need to stop being lazy and get my four HGJ fics put up here and help boost this section.

I hope you'll keep this story up, I really like how it's progressing thus far.
42 | « Prev Page 1 .. 3