|Reviews for Blood on the Tracks|
| bayre chapter 9 . 12/2/2006
Ah...going well! I'm thinking 'today isn't a good day to die!' (play on Klingon saying).
My only real comment here is the use of words like cyanosis. Dean isn't a doctor/nurse/vet/medical person. That's really not a word a non-medical person would use in their daily vocabulary. I think it would work if he's repeating something some dr/nurse/etc said to him, but not as part of every day vocabulary.
Did I say I love the Star Trek stuff, and you're brave going into the world of Klingon language. That part was great...lol
| Starliteyes17 chapter 9 . 12/2/2006
Oh Carikube, I was halfway through this, and I was thinking to myself, "If Latin doesn't work, then they need to try something else... and then I remembered the one ST episode I've seen where they spoke Klingon, and I was like, "HA!"" And it turned out, I was right!
You are so good at surprising me, that I was ecstatic. :D
Oh jeez, poor Sam. Trying to hard to help his brother, when he's in so much pain. What a tough guy. Aw...
And Dean is NOTHING like that doctor - don't you think that for even one second, man! You are way better, your intentions are more pure, and you will fix this, because you have no other choice! You need Sammy, he needs you - any other outcome is just not acceptable.
Oh man, I'm scared to meet Melanie again! I hope she doesn't hurt Dean too bad before he gets her to fix Sam (or Ted gets her to, which I suspect might be the case!) Can't wait to see what happens next!
| bally2cute chapter 9 . 12/2/2006
Whew! Dean doesn't want to lose his brother, he doesn't know how to help him, and he is angry. Sam doesn't want to die, he's hurt, frustrated, and dying. Wow, what a story that makes and it is excellent. When Dean was trying to "take Sam down" and Ted was talking, I couldn't help but think if Dean was really thinking the words that Ted said. Ted was like someone's conscience outside of their body. I don't know...All I can say is that this chapter was emotional. Since the beginning this has had a frantic, desperate feel and it just increased with this chapter and now everything is hanging by a thread. This is excellent stuff and I am so eager to see what happens next!
| Raven524 chapter 9 . 12/2/2006
OMG Poor Sammy and Dean! I'm still on the edge of my seat...update soon, please!
| roxy071288 chapter 9 . 12/2/2006
Even dying Sam can figure anything out...This chap was so sad! I luv it...Thanx!
| A-blackwinged-bird chapter 9 . 12/2/2006
“Summon her spirit. I’m not bringing her back. She’s dead.”
I love that Dean points this out. Very in-character.
“She would never have deliberately hurt him,” Ted said quietly. “Not like this. If she knew what she had done, she’d be devastated.”
The paper scrunched in Dean’s hands as he clenched his fists and took a step forward.
I love Dean's wordless reactions to Ted's blunt statements. You've never once used the word 'annoyed', but that's exactly what he is. Great job.
“Back the hell off,” Dean growled. He pushed Sam against the wall, supported him with one hand against his shoulder and hooked a finger under his chin to bring his head up. Sam’s eyes rolled, glazed and wet, and his already compromised breathing took on a hacking infrequency that terrified Dean.
Redirected aggression is such a wonderful thing, unless you're on the recieving end of it. Poor Sam. *gurgle*
Another shudder wracked Sam’s body, made him sluggishly draw his limbs in. He cradled the heavily bandaged arm and pushed his head back against the tunnel wall. His eyes remained open, the gaze fixed upwards, languidly blinking. The action dislodged budded tears. “Told… you,” he said as he shifted and Dean found his brother’s shimmering gaze locked on him. “I can’t… help.”
I hate this. You have such a dark quality to your writing when Sam is in pain- one can't help but feel it themselves. I always end up aching when I read your stories. *sigh*
Laying down like a dying dog, going down without a fight.
This still gets me.
“You fight, Sam. You owe me that.”
The emotion is in the dialogue. I can hear Dean saying this.
“You’re hurting him. What you’re saying is cruel.”
Good boy, Ted.
He grabbed a handful of papers, shoved them in Sam’s face and made him flinch back.
Should say sorry, but it seemed to close to goodbye and he would never say that to Sam. Not now. Not ever. Not like this.
I still adore this. Beautiful.
“Any ideas rolling around in that freaky head of yours?” Dean asked hopefully. He ducked his head, rubbed Sam’s arm and tried to ignore how badly his brother trembled. He let a beat pass then added, “You did good, Sammy. Real good.”
The seesaw of emotions kills me. This chapter is paced too fast for Sam. His slow, pain-filled responses seem out of place and it's easy to draw Dean's conclusions. Excellent contrast here.
“Shit. Okay, Sam. I’m taking you down. You don’t need to be awake for this.”
“Klingon,” he grunted as he pressed himself against the wall. He stayed there only a moment then slid down.
Sam could have said 'Pony' and this still would be beautiful. The grunt, the trying to get away, the limp slide down the wall... *guh*
Dean hurled the syringe onto the track. All for nothing. All Sam’s pain, all the anger between them, the suffering, for nothing. He felt weak, drained, the air suffocating and cold as hope bled through his fingers.
Is this new? I love Dean throwing the syringe.
Ted offered Melanie’s journal to Dean. “We’ll summon her with Klingon, not Latin.”
I like this image of Ted, like a bird dog having retrieved a quail. Great job.
I can not wait for the next chapter to be posted. *mad grin*
| Dawn Vesper chapter 9 . 12/2/2006
very very very good! i almost cried...scratch that i did cry!
| Dragonflysoul chapter 9 . 12/2/2006
FREAKIN BRILLIANT! *on the edge of my seat*
| bubblesquirt chapter 9 . 12/2/2006
Wow, this chapter was so freaking sad! The way Dean was treating Sam, just to get him to actually fight for his life, to help him not give up.. “Winchester’s don’t beg.” That was so horrible! My mouth dropped. Great job. You writing is so awesome and dead on. Keep up the work.
| Sunrize chapter 9 . 12/2/2006
Okay, that? Using Klingon instead of Latin? Was absolutely brilliant.
I'd say more but I'm pretty incoherent at the moment. I hope you have another installment for us soon because this story is wrecking me. Terrific job, as always.
| reading chapter 9 . 12/2/2006
Klingon? That's awesome!
| Nana56 chapter 9 . 12/2/2006
Wonderful chapter! Very tense! Poor Sam! Poor Dean! and contrary to my earlier thoughts, thank God for Ted. Of course Klingon! Dean wouldn't recongnize it as a language if he didn't recognize it as a word. Of course, Dean's too messed up right now to think at all...poor baby! He needs me to give him a hug and to tell him it'll all be ok and to rock him back and forth like he did Sam. (Sigh)
| Dawn N chapter 9 . 12/2/2006
Superb chapter! I completely loved the exchanges between Dean and Sam both the spoken and the unspoken. Your use of description has created a wonderful reading experience. I'm drawn into the scene you've written and the emotion/angst makes me ache for Dean and Sam. I'd pick out one scene that I particularly enjoyed, but I loved them all, and I couldn't very well highlight your entire story and include it in the review :-) A Excellent Job! :clapping:
I'm looking forward to your next chapter!
| ellynora chapter 9 . 12/2/2006
wow another fab chapter you really write both dean and sam so well. i feel so sorry for sammy please let him get better soon!like ive said before this story is so different you really do have an amazing imagination. please update soon! dont leave me in suspence to long
| friendly chapter 9 . 12/2/2006
Dean you big meanie... That was awesome... loved it...best chapter yet(not that they aren't all great.)