|Reviews for Serenity|
| LadyPup chapter 1 . 11/30/2006
I love this series. I just found it, sat down, and read the entire thing. You have an interesting writing style, sort of detatched, even when you're writing from some one's perspective. I like it. Just wanted to let you know.
| kittenchloe chapter 1 . 11/20/2006
Hello! I like your style (most of it, anyway), and it's nice seeing Kaylee very much as a woman, rather than having her be interested in nothing whatsoever but machinery.
Here's some constructive criticism:
1) Very little that happened in the series affected all members of the crew, unless it was a really big deal, such as Serenity drifting with no life support or the captain being tortured by an enemy. Therefore, I don't think that the entire crew would have nothing better to do than discuss the insult Sarie received, and plot revenge.
2) 'Not that anyone’s tall nowadays, whether from malnutrition or just the low height of ceilings and ship’s corridors.' Mal's tall. Simon's tall. I guess they were lucky to grow up on a ranch and rich, respectively, or else they'd be dwarves. Why is everyone underfed? Medicine seems to be advanced, the Alliance is doing its job at least on the Core planets, so why are you painting such a dim picture of everyone's state of health?
3) Please don't imply that your character's 'lessons in armed and unarmed combat' would have been enough to take out Jubal Early. He had no trouble whatsoever with ex-soldier Mal and Shepherd Book, so I don't think an underfed girl'd be a match for him. And if she's seriously considering using her 'deadly abilities' to 'deliver the pain' for that insult, that makes her a bully in my opinion.
4) She’s ‘made of thin, invisible steel, like the ship she was raised on’. Does she have ceramic parts, too? (This line sounds very cheesy to me. Also, Serenity's steel isn't 'invisible'.)
| Jess Readin chapter 1 . 11/17/2006
Haven't reviewed for Sarie in a while. A very nice little oneshot.
| Sci F.I. Warper chapter 1 . 11/17/2006
Oh, how sweet. I love Sarie! The girl's got bits and pieces of each member. Is that bad that I can see Jayne and Simon argueing over the best way to kill the Hoohn Dahn who was a jerk to Sarie? LOL. Great Mother daughter moment that really bring's Kaylee's compassionate nature to light and shows how much she's grown! Great job!