|Reviews for The Discovery|
| Jkdelta38 chapter 21 . 8/31/2016
Easily one of the best fan fics around for SG1. You did great at making it feel exactly like SG1 episodes. I can only hope someday you return to this and continue it.
| RainbowCubes87 chapter 5 . 10/18/2012
I love this story it's actually my second read through in as many months. One teensy issue I have with the story which doesn't detract from it at all is that Vala has fired a P90 before in season 9 episode 'The Powers That Be'. Although I believe it was Mitchell's P90 she used to shoot at the Ori-plague spreading Prior.
| kehwie chapter 21 . 7/31/2012
This is a fabulous AU; I've really enjoyed what you have so far. I hope you finish it someday.
| bobcox26 chapter 21 . 6/17/2011
very good story you had right to the piont yous stop so if you continue pleease let me know thanks
| Darth Sanctus chapter 21 . 12/13/2009
| Eternal Density chapter 21 . 6/18/2008
very intense fic! SG-1 and the SGC seem to be getting hammered constantly. great writing too. and you've left it on a serious cliffhanger... looking forward to the next chapter!
| fluffypigeon chapter 21 . 4/1/2008
I'm all caught up! Woot! *does a little dance* And it was so entertaining and so action packed...as usual. I am continually astounded by how well you weave these little plotlines and stories together. Excellent work!
Thinking out loud...
All right I'm still trying to figure out these hebridean people. What is going on there? So the Goa'uld connection is that they were once Goa'uld slaves? Clearly these people are in this ancient location for a reason. It must hold some sort of Ancient device or knowledge. Why else would Dranis try and question Anderson about the intentions of his superiors for this planet. And they still don't know about Parker and his guys underneath the surface...right? Hmm...i wonder if what they're looking for is there...Oh! and what about the Serrakin? Where do they fit in? They aren't a part of the military masses preparing for... an attack? Are they even around anymore? Was there some sort of genocide or something? Is that why everyone is human? Are the million goa'uld roaming around in the galaxy responsible?
And then theres... aw crap...Jack! All he's trying to do is save Daniel's $$ and there is walking into a booby trap. Set by Daniel. Typical. Just typical. Daniel's never going to hear the end of that one.
Go! Vala! Get out of there! They are coming for you. I knew this would happen. I knew they'd come after Vala eventually. And you know Kethmel would love going after HER again after she was partially responsible for his failure in the command center. *shudders at the thought* I hope she's got some whoop $$ waiting for him. He such a snake...literally ;) Especially now with Sam there. Vala's going to be responsible for saving her again I bet.
*Artix is pissed! Love it! So cool to see him fight his anger and desire for revenge as he tries to accomplish his task. And as he's scoping out the dark room for Daniel and the other SGC guys...it feels like the kitchen scene in Jurassic Park all over again. I'm just waiting for some shiny cupboards that will reflect and trick Artix into discovering Daniel's not where he imagines him to be *g*
*Jack following Sam as they wheel her into the infirmary with Vala. So sweet and tender...I love how beautifully and subtly you show Jack's love for her. Those looks...that clench of the jaw...wonderful.
*Oh and Dude! I just love the scene at the end with Daniel grinning while he listens to Vala, MItchell, and Landry on the radio. It goes back to the whole Daniel traveling floors thing that I loved in the last chapter. And to see him be able to appreciate that kind of stuff in the midst of a skilled mercenary trying to kill him...well you can't help but give him cred.
And so...guess what I get to say now that I am finished reviewing?... For the first time EVER?...
:D Update soon.
| fluffypigeon chapter 20 . 3/31/2008
How much do I love this chapter! I am just going to be repeating myself...just to warn ya. ACTION ACTION ACTION! Is truly your forte. You are truly brilliant at this stuff. These last few chapters have been by far your best on the whole.
I adore this Artix bad guy you've created. He's such a bada$$ and so cool. I love the mastery this old warrior shows and how he completely outwits and outplays his younger companions.
DANIEL! Sweet monkey's paw! How amazing is Daniel in this chapter...Let me list the best stuff about him...
*Daniel traveling between levels with radio conversation in his ear. That piece of writing was both brilliant and clever. Daniel's no dialogue, only physical movement, while everyone around him is trying to figure things out! I felt like I was Daniel and hearing them in my ear. VERY cool.
*Daniel vs Artix! I can't believe you've pitted Daniel of all people against Artix...and he's completely outwitting him. How frickin sweet is that. Him taking out one of Artix's cronies with a single shot! And I love how Artix is all pissed and rattled. Perfect! With Vala in his ear! Artix ain't got a chance!
Okay...another favorite thing. Your descriptive writing was superb in this one... the mushroom explosion down and out of the elevator shaft! Cam's voice as he seems to realize what's coming. Vala's view from her laptop. Wow. So vivid.
Thinking out loud...
Hmm...I thinking about how amazing this chapter was. No immediate questions rolling around in my brain. Simply stunned and giddy that I got to read such fantastic stuff. It makes me wish for a season 11 with you as one of the writers...or at least you being in charge of special effects *g* Because you describe it perfectly.
Awesome awesome awesome...there is little more I can say. One more chapter and I'm all caught up *grin* and then I can review along side everyone else. That in itself is an amazing thought :D
| fluffypigeon chapter 19 . 3/31/2008
So so so much action! You are such a genius when it comes to action writing. Have I told you that? You really really are. The actual action sequences are so energized and filled with the perfect anticipatory dialogue, I am constantly envisioning the scenes in my head.
The sequencing by which you organize this story is quite unique and unpredictable as well and in such a good way. I really enjoy the pacing and the jumping around on the timeline. Way cool!
*the teal'c action stuff at the end was definitely my favorite action sequence out of everything you've written. Your detail.."hefted up the other like a man carries a child" and "His grin grew as he counted the last second and suddenly the grenade he tossed exploded, sending shrapnel and concrete bits flying while men screamed" and " the three men's P-90s were now lying on the floor in their cold, dead hands, the beams of light illuminating only the floor." All so amazing and so vivid. Huge thumbs up on this section.
*The Jack inner dialogue while Sam was in surgery. So IC. I don't know how he comes to you so perfectly, but it's so evident that you have an easy, natural way with him. You do such an amazing job with him. I'm a little jealous actually :P
*Oh and the scene in the infirmary between Daniel and Vala before he left to join the fight. It so felt like a wife sending her husband off to war. So tender. So beautiful. It gave me tingles *smile*
Thinking out loud...
*hmm...*smirk* So Artix is not a Goa'uld after all. VERY interesting. I mean I knew he was kind of mercenary but it didn't mean he didn't have Goa'uld qualities...and the fact that he's trained some of his goa'uld operatives. That's even more interesting. I wonder how much he is responsible for this Goa'uld offensive. He obviously plays a big role... Clearly he has more going on than simply being paid help. And what's his connection to 'the Mistress.' Why does she even need him? Isn't she powerful enough without him? He obviously doesn't answer to her. He does his own thing. I'm really really curious to see what his intentions are in all this. Because again I say it has to be more than money.
*PACKAGE...Oh package! *sing songs* Where are you? *glares at author*
*My only teensy critique/question is this..."he lifted his chin, raising his bald head" Teal'c's bald again! When did this happen? Did he get sick of s9's black curly do' he had going on? Oh wait...I forgot. Your fic is completely AU. Forgive me. In your AU version. He's bald. *g*
*sigh* This chapter was amazingness personified... yet again. You are so skilled. *jealous again*
Chapter 20! Here I come!
| fluffypigeon chapter 18 . 3/30/2008
This chapter was so well done. The prose and fluency just seemed especially strong this time. The transitions were fluid and the connectivity between scenes excellent. It's a compliment to your ability to get me completely get lost in the story and lose sight of the time.
*Vala's realization that the base computers had been compromised by the Goa'uld technology. She is so brilliant. I love her showing it off to Daniel and his impressed reaction. So cool. And it made me laugh to imagine her attentively watching Sam for logins and passwords.
*Artix. I'm really loving that man. His cold calculating self facing off completely unaffected by the youth's brazen instigation. So cool. And the description of him waiting and reflecting on the Tauri and the beautiful sunset over the mountain, wonderfully done.
*The DV scenes across the whole chapter were wonderful. Vala's 'consuming worry' and holding back tears as she tries to convince Daniel to be careful as he tries to seek out the Gou'uld...And his reaction? *shippy sigh* Just wonderful. I always love the intimate scenes you write between them...and the nurse watching with a smile in the background. So sweet. And then of course the constant transition between frustration and affection from the both of them. *grin* That's always fun.
*Oh crap. The goa'uld got into the system, eh? The software is active. What does this mean? Is this the signal to inform Artix to make his move? And what exactly IS his move? What does he plan on doing exactly? *waits on the edge of her seat in anticipation*
*Hmm...what is up with this Hebredian group. Since I last reviewed I did check up on them and quickly realized to whom you're speaking about in your last chapter and now here. I'm not exactly sure what your intentions are with them. Color me curious. First you got the in-your-face leader who threatens to kill SG team people like Anderson, etc...suddenly he's dethroned and a new guy takes over his authoritative role. I wonder if the Goa'uld have infiltrated this group somehow. Maybe the new guy, Dranis, has a goa'uld in him which makes him so sketchy in the nature of his intentions and it would explain mitchell's unease. Or maybe Remmel had the Goa'uld which was why he was removed from position. I'm really really curious as to how this all plays into the big Gou'uldy scheme of your story.
*Okay...what the heck happened to the package you spent so much time teasing us about? Did it suddenly drop off the face of the planet. I realize it's only been two chapters since you've last mentioned it...but COME ON! I want to know already...What's with the bait and wait. Not fair *grumbles*
*bright smiles* You're doing a marvelous job my friend! Can't wait to read the next one.
| fluffypigeon chapter 17 . 3/27/2008
I was on the edge of my seat the whole time. You action writing is amazing. You've got such a clear handle on the detail and the fluent progression needed to build anticipation, and make it exciting as well as entertaining. This whole chapter felt like one big movie action sequence. I have alluded to this before in your writing, that you're very skilled in providing the detail that makes it feel like an actual episode.
*i feel like I'm repeating myself but...Jack Jack Jack. I am just continually amazed by how well you represent him. Particularly in the Daniel/Jack moments. Daniel holding Jack back when Sam is rushed out of the command center..."We've been friends for long enough, you should damned well know that. I'm not that kind of 'touchy feely' guy."...“Yeah, I'm fine,” the archaeologist answered, unable to maintain eye contact. “Hey now,” Jack answered, “that's my line.” Daniel glanced back over at his friend, smirking slightly. “You're the sensitive guy, remember? You don't get to play the 'I'm fine' card...”... and then again Jack reading his mind as he realized Daniel was feeling guilty about not worrying over Sam more. So IC.
*Vala's strength in the scenes following Keegan busting out the Command Center through the glass. The combination of her adrenaline and anxiety over Sam, making her completely forget her own injuries and Daniel arriving just in time to catch her when 'white splotches' interrupted her vision and she lost consciousness...*shippy sigh*
*And of course I loved the DV...Daniel unintentionally asking her out on a date..So cute...and his ever present blushing and insecurity about his feelings for her. Love!
Thinking out loud...
*Lovely :S Now we've got two Goa'uld running around on the base and they're planning an offensive? And they both know about Artix? How would they know he was coming? Hmm...it must have been when the Goa'uld had Keegan he may have located Artix entering the solar system and made some sort of communication with him. Hmm...how will that all play out. The SGC has discovered his ship so it's not a complete surprise, but still, I feel like they should definitely be more worried than they are about that ship.
*Hmm...this queen lady. She's a smart cookie...like the whole blistery burning of her advisor/follower. It proved a point in a gruesome, but necessary way. I'm wondering how much she realizes about the Ori...if she really knows that their promises of ascension are faulty. I have to wonder...as smart as she seems to be...who's really playing who...
*Okay...I have no memory of these Hebridean fellowship people...what episode/season was that?...*puts it on list of things to look up on Omnipedia* So I don't believe I can comment on them until i learn more :P
Of course another lively, lovely chapter...that i adored!
Four more chapters to go...at this rate I may catch up before you post 22...;P
| fluffypigeon chapter 16 . 3/24/2008
*Sam/Vala...really enjoy the fact that these two are becoming such close friends. And that we're getting to experience the frustration that comes with Sam's job. The show always shows a bit of frustration and tediousness but Sam almost always walks away with a big 'TADA' moment. It's nice to see it probably isn't like that most of the time. And I don't know if I've said this to you before, but you do a really nice job with Sam's techy speech. It can be pretty difficult to do and still infuse her techy talk with her character.
*Dv kissing...of course! :D You write it so beautifully. And I love how Daniel always find himself capitulating to her mouth even though nearly every time they have an audience. Who knew Daniel would love PDA so much *g*
*Jack/Daniel scene...you do such a fantastic job with the banter and dialogue between these two. It's so strong. It feels really natural and in no way overdone, which can sometimes happen with Jack's big personality in the mix.
Loved this little piece...
**“Stop that,” he said warningly.
“Stop what?” Daniel said innocently, suddenly lifting his head again to look back up at his friend.
Raising an eyebrow, Jack answered, “You're feeling guilty because it was your idea to take out the ship.”
“Am not,” Daniel protested, watching his friend intently.
“Are too,” Jack answered flatly, returning the stare.
“Am not,” Jackson argued further, furrowing his brow.
“Are too,” Jack shot back. Daniel pursed his lips, sighing.**
Jack reading Daniel's mind and engaging in some old school banter. I so much loved that.
*The command center...Really really on the edge of my seat through that whole scene. The whole slow motion anticipation/action of it? Sam and Vala feeling an innate wrongness about them...and the whole breaking the glass window? AMAZING. Your language and description staged a live viewing in my brain. And I nearly gasped in shock around every corner. Keegan pulling out the gun...shooting Vala...and Sam...and then pressing the gun to Vala's head. Horrific and wonderfully shocking. And can i just tell you how much I loved Landry saving the day! Love love loved it. He doesn't get to do that enough.
*glowers* Why are you still teasing me with the package? Here we are chapters and chapters of let's discuss the package vaguely, and still have not the slightest clue as to what it is. Tell me already! Though I must credit you, I do feel a bit better knowing that it's coming from Jack. The package is no longer so ominous or foreboding...however, now I'm all excited. I want to know what it is. More so than before! I'm trying to stitch the clues you keep dropping together, but honestly I still haven't an inkling as to what it might be. I would assume it's a completely separate token from the big plot against the Goa'uld...and I would also assume that it doesn't really have anything to do with Vala being that Jack didn't know Daniel was all enamored until he showed up on base of couple of days ago...So what could it be?...Something to with Atlantis maybe? A new position/job? Something that maybe has to do with that ancient site that was found a bit ago...by Parker and Balinsky? hm...*stumped*
*Oh...and Keegan? A goa'uld? You're kidding me? I thought he was an IOA/NID/trust operative or something...hmm...maybe he still is? *tries to think* The trust has been infiltrated by the Goa'uld hasn't it? Hmm...i just thought he was human and skeevy, didn't think he had snake in his head. And what did he do in his little hacking adventure. Hopefully Carter's attempts at closing off the mainframe core hindered him from getting accomplished what he intended.
What a little twisty plot you've created. Creating traps for my mind to fall into. It's currently the bottom of one of your cleverly disquised pits trying to scramble back out into the light again. I have a paper clip...a stick of gum...and an old shoelace...Can I McGyver my way out before you offer me a ladder?...hmm...*goes to clean her apt and ponder plot intricacies further*
| fluffypigeon chapter 15 . 3/22/2008
Hmm...interesting chapter...Still trying to decide how I feel about it...
:D:D:D:D:D:D blown away OR freaking giddy! :D:D:D:D:D:D
*You have got to be freakin kidding me! Okay...I never saw that one coming. The minute you said "crater pocked grey..." I jumped out of my seat! Earth! Earth there at earth!...I can't believe it I never never imagined them here. What a wonderful shock!
*Jack! Every scene, every moment feels so completely IC...i have rub my eyes and remind myself this is fic and not the real show. And he just brings the best out of everyone else. Their reactions their looks at each other. I was doubled over in giggles nearly the entire time. And that's tough doing the team thing...making it snarky and fun and IC when you've got so many personalities to showcase. WOWOWOW. I honestly don't know if i could break it down and be all deep. So much fun...so much banter...(you know I live for banter:P) And all so completely well done. Hmm...maybe I can list a few moments that had me laughing out loud...hrm..but there were so many! Okay...i'll try to narrow it down...
**“Daniel!” Jack called out heartily, adding with a mischievous voice, “You dog!” **
**“Well, I don’t think he appreciates it,” she continued quietly... “He’s clearly embarrassed by the whole affair, and you and Vala aren’t helping him.” “Nonsense!” Jack replied, “He’s quite happy about it…” ...just in time to watch Vala grab the archaeologist’s behind, lean in and whisper. They watched on as Daniel regarded her in shock, then walking away in silence with a stony expression.
**“Oh, he slept very well.” ... To his horror she smiled from ear to ear at the look on his face and suddenly added with a scandalous voice, “Not right away, of course, but we did get to sleep eventually…”
**“Danny here,” he begins, pausing again to savor the moment while trying to keep a straight face, “Danny steps of the hot, steamy shower, dripping wet, wearing nothing but a towel and a smile.” Teal’c spoke. “I too would have been surprised by that, O’Neill.”
** Sam blinked a few times as she suddenly realized the reality of what Daniel had said. The gray-haired General and the blonde-haired Colonel looked at each other, exchanging awkward and uncomfortable glances as they suddenly busied themselves with their breakfast.**
I laughed my butt at at all this stuff and again who was responsible? JACK! Love him. Love him.
Okay..thinking out loud...
*I'm really wondering about this Artix character. Is he really a goa'uld? Or is he something else entirely, because Goa'uld's don't tend to be the mercenary type which this guy seems to be... And Natan...ugh...whatta weiner. He's so a whiny, sceevy little man, isn't he? I'd love for Artix to take him down. But back to Artix...what are his intentions? What are his motivations? Is it purely money...or is there something else going on? hm...there's always something else...
*Ha! Ha! I told you! I knew that scheming marty was a problem...Right from the start...you can't pull the wool over my eyes!
* And hmm...we've heard nothing about that little package...where is it...and what is it? Why hasn't Daniel opened it yet? Or has he? *glares at the author* Why do you insist on teasing me?
And now I finish this lengthy and somewhat high-flying review with...thank you thank you thank you! Jack is my hero...and so are you for including him here...I hope there's more of him to come, because it's really stepped up your game with team dynamic...awesome chapter! Loved it! More more more...wait...you already have more...Okay...ill stop talking now :D
| fluffypigeon chapter 14 . 3/20/2008
Okay we're doing the favorite stuff, right away...
*loved Daniel's reflection as he wakes...so completely touched by it. A little speechless actually. All I can say is...amazing.
*JACK! How much do I adore that man. He and Sam discovering Daniel in the towel...and his and daniel's conversation following? PERFECTION! Seriously so crazy IC my head had visions of the entire conversation as if played out in an episode.
Love these lines...
**Jack jumped in at this, adding, “Unless, of course, you’ve already eaten…”** lololol...he's such an a**. Again. Love him.
**“Only fine?” Vala blinked in surprise at this and then turned to glare harshly at Daniel.** Oh! Snap! Daniel, Vala's gonna kick your butt for that one. :D
Okay...this Keegan guy? He's totally a tool of some big organization trying to access SGC information. He's newer. He's asking Walter questions about possibly getting in the know with the big information. I knew I smelled a snake *glares at Keegan*
And hmm...this mistress lady? I'm still trying to figure out her angle. She's definitely a goa'uld. She's gotta be. She's got the big ego and her inner dialogue sounds very similar to what I imagine a goa'uld would be thinking about. But why is she choosing to work with the Ori. What does she hope to accomplish? She must think she'll gain more power this way...but how? The Ori are not so easily molded into the cooperative type. Hmm...interested to see how that goes.
And of course interested to see where DV is going. They seem in such a happy kind of content place. Which I LOVE! Especially the waking up in each other's arms part. But I worry Daniel may retreat at some point. That his brain might get in the way of how he feels and that he might end up hurting Vala in the process...*gives Daniel a squinty glare* You better not...
So here I am. Another chapter reviewed and *counts on fingers* seven more to go :D I can't wait!
| EvilSamurai chapter 21 . 3/20/2008
I have to say, after reading your story, im going to find it difficult to go back to the stunted dialogue and underdeveloped characters that characterize far too many fanfic's. Not to say there arent many great stories out there, but far too often it feels like there is about five minutes worth of thought and effort put into the writing. That is not the case here. You have an interesting plot, well well though out secondary charcters, and a keen sense for writing the team in character. It's nice not to see Daniel immediately break down and admit his undying love for Vala, simultaneously proposing of course. I just have to say i respect your interpretation on these characters and their motivations and issues. Just plain great writing. Thank you for the experience. Please update ASAP.