|Reviews for A Forbidden Love Or Fruitcakes And Bananas|
| Tre Psycho Vamp chapter 24 . 5/11/2008
sup...nice chappy...nice love triangle by the way...muwhaha
| belle.nisce chapter 23 . 11/2/2007
Why in god's name are there 23 chapters of this crap?
Please, just do us all a favor. Stop writing. For most I'd say keep accepting constructive criticism and continue improving, but for you, since you obviously have no intention of getting better, just stop now before your stupidity spreads.
(22? You've got to be kidding me...)
| Tre Psycho Vamp chapter 22 . 7/26/2007
vamps r nosey lil thingss lol
| Scientia Est Potencia chapter 22 . 7/21/2007
Oh, goodness ... Where to start?
Your story is horrendous.
It lacks proper grammar, spelling, punctuation, and various other IMPORTANT rules pertaining to writing.
You posted entire chapters in bold, which was absolutely 'ridiculous. And you don't seem to know where or what the ENTER key is. When there's speaking between characters YOU NEED TO START ANOTHER PARAGRAPH. It's tiring on the eyes, and difficult to read.
I see no plot in this story whatsoever.
From what I've read so far, every OC in this story is a self-insert of either you, or one of your friends. And yes, it is quite obvious. Therefore, this DOES NOT count as a story-only as a little fantasy you and your friends have conjured up and decided to post on this site. Congratulations for clogging up the site with your garbage.
Aside from the plot problem, this-shall we call it 'story'-is merely a compilation of words. There is no depth, no emotion to this-your writing is shallow, and cold. Your characters merely speak, have sex, and quarrel. That's it. There is no emotional turmoil, no soliloquies-you don't expand on their complexities. There is NOTHING to convince us readers that they are more than just names on a page. Therefore, I cannot call you an author.
Despite the fact that many readers-and flamers-have left you suggestions, you have blatantly continued to ignore them. The only thing I can accredit to you is that you've stopped posting entire chapters in boldface-Thank God.
To me, this shows that you think that there's absolutely nothing wrong with your 'story', and that you think that it's actually good enough to post on this site-which, by the way, is devoted to FAN FICTION, not ridiculous fantasies in which you include your little friends.
By the way, your little side conversations at the end of each and every chapter are absolutely stupid. Not only are they stupid, they're completely and utterly unnecessary. No one wants to read your imaginary interactions with fictional characters-we came here to READ A STORY. Which, unfortunately, yours IS NOT.
Oh, and just because you get 300 reviews from four readers-which I assume are your friends-doesn't mean your 'story' is actually worthy to read. Hate to break it to you, but it's crap.
PS: Delete this, or make an effort to write something worthy of posting. If you and your friends want to indulge in horny little fantasies with Dracula, do it elsewhere. NOT HERE.
| Tre Psycho Vamp chapter 21 . 6/14/2007
aw how cute...hey what about me? WHAT ABOUT MY LOVE LIFE? *tears* nah im jk
| Zokolov chapter 21 . 6/14/2007
You have improved slightly, but the stories are still...Eh, how should I put it...
The grammar is still poor, and the story is mostly just sentences and dialogue mushed together, like all of your other stories as well.
Do try to improve your writing in the next story,
| amber chapter 20 . 5/27/2007
make a new chapter
| Tre Psycho Vamp chapter 20 . 5/23/2007
aw I love the little alone thingy
| Dysthymia chapter 19 . 4/10/2007
This is wonderful, Jackie. You've had a lot of improvements.
| lostsoul99 chapter 19 . 4/6/2007
great job. awsome. love it. fantastic. can't wait for the next update. yippie
| lostsoul99 chapter 10 . 4/6/2007
i love that song. it's so good. good chapter as well.
| Lostsoul99 chapter 3 . 4/6/2007
I'm to lazy to log in so yha. I j/ keep leaving you reviews. hehe. anyways. great update. I don't think I like Dracula very much right now. Sorta raping jackie there... anywas. great job. and thanks for reading and reviewing my story. means alot.
| Lostsoul99 chapter 2 . 4/6/2007
OIC. clever. anyways. good job. gotta feel bad for van helsing though. BUT I LOVE DRACULA!
| Lostsoul99 chapter 1 . 4/6/2007
hey. good job. What ever happened to Jackie and Dracula pairing? Or is this a different Jackie? anyways. i like it so far. Your writing has improved if I'm not being too bold. I'm just mearly pointing out that you add more detail. Makes the story more full. I need to start working on that hehe. great story so far! Keep up the great work. Now I'm off to read the other chapters
| lizzy chapter 1 . 3/31/2007
Oh. My. Goodness.
I hope to God that you're a troll.