Reviews for Snapped
tanithlipsky chapter 1 . 11/21/2014
nerymauro chapter 1 . 12/16/2006
please keep writing its such a good story!
imperial guardsman chapter 1 . 11/29/2006
good effort,

but i kinda found that scene with keitaro tracing his scars kinda wierd, i mean that when i have a look on the 'injuries' that i have recieved in my life i think of them as a little badge of honnor but to see good times in them is sorta disturbing.

aside from that i found it to be an intersting exprience and i look forward for the conclusion


Luke McDonald
Major Mike Powell III chapter 1 . 11/28/2006
Well, well, soldier...

Keitaro being not-so-inmortal is a really cool idea. Glad someone decided to give it a shot.

Nice job, son. I'll most certainly keep an eye on this fic. I really like the scars idea.

Let's see what'cha got, marine.

Semper-Fi! Carry on!
Rezekaro chapter 1 . 11/27/2006
awesome, realistic and kind a sad. keep writing
Drekk chapter 1 . 11/27/2006

A very well done fic I am looking forward to the next ch
Chri Gamer chapter 1 . 11/26/2006
Alright, not a bad plot at all. My biggest gripes are formatting and grammar. There are a few places where a sentence is a line, even if it's a short sentence. In terms of grammar, watch capitalization, commas, and genitive case.


Tech-Man chapter 1 . 11/25/2006
Great first half, I can't wait to read the second.
Lanky Nathan chapter 1 . 11/24/2006
YEW! I love it. Update as soon as possible!
Vegetto800 chapter 1 . 11/24/2006
I am going to keep an eye on this story, the fact that you have him not so immortal after all is such a uncommon thing and I hope you update soon.

Lastofakind chapter 1 . 11/22/2006
I like it and I hope you can continue this.
BigFics2 chapter 1 . 11/22/2006
Sounds like this could turn into a nice Shinobu/keitaro fanfic here. :-) I'll keep it on my alert list.
Raenef the 6th chapter 1 . 11/21/2006
This is pretty good, as far as looking at after-effects of Keitaro's punishments by the girls. To be honest, I hope he goes off on Naru.
Rasputin the evil monk chapter 1 . 11/21/2006
I read this, and my first impression was that the format of the story needs some work. You must practice proper paragraphing; it just makes the story easier to read.

As for the story itself, not a terrible attempt, and to say the least there is some promise here. The area I felt was lacking was in the way the characters reacted. If you want to make Naru a heartless bitch, well kudos to you! But you also need to watch for the other characters, such as Motoko, would her views change so quickly? Would Keitaro suddenly go frosty? I understood Shinobu's reactions and thought they were most accurate. I felt that the scenes were too rushed, and more could have been brought out to the open.

I liked how Keitaro has begun to feel resentment to the others, but felt it was to early for him to show open hostility. After all we just met a resentful Keitaro, and suddenly he's telling Naru to go bugger off.

I don't mind the Naru bashing, heck I encourage it! But let’s not rush into it so quickly!

Build the scenery, build the scenario, build the anxiety, and finally wallop the audience with Keitaro getting down and nasty with his dark side!

Feel free to reply to this review.
Ruto Kuntai chapter 1 . 11/21/2006
This is a good story, really it is. However the format really hurts my eyes, you might want to consider spacing more.

Also a few enter's would do some good.

Take it easy,

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