|Reviews for Whipped|
| marduk-report chapter 6 . 2/25
You know, I think that Kaji's assessment of love in this chapter is quite possibly the single most horrifyingly accurate description of that emotion I've ever come across.
Asides from the bit where he didn't talk about how it torments you too.
But that may just be me.
| Dragonjek chapter 7 . 2/8
I hope you still have an interest in writing this story. I adore it.
I particularly like what you're doing with Asuka. She obviously cares about Shinji, but she has so many fucking issues that her it gets all twisted up. As if the fact that she confessed to him after beating the hell out of him didn't give that away. Or that she thought torturing him was a proper way to make him take care of his own life.
This part especially wins all my love:
""If I wanted I could really hurt you. You know that, right?"
"I know." He didn't even bother to wonder why she would say such a thing.
"But I don't want to."
Shinji was silent. Asuka's mouth dipped downward into a frown.
"But you're hurt anyways.""
God, that was a beautiful little piece. The description in the previous chapter about her "I'd be all over you" look that Shinji vastly underestimated was wonderful, too-you showed us what she actually thought, unfiltered by Shinji's rose-colored glasses. That entire segment was good, really-I loved the dynamic.
Her reluctance to engage in even the most basic physical aspects of a relationship (not sex acts-they just aren't ready for that yet, particularly at the time Kaji was pushing Shinji about it) is easy to understand from our P.O.V.; she has attachment issues that make frictionless surfaces seem seem like they're made of glue and Velcro.
I doubt Asuka's thinking of it as pulling him along like Kaji seems to, and while his position on men having to take what they want is blatantly awful, he does have a point in one matter, at least-subconsciously, Asuka is trying to leave herself with a way to escape, because leaving herself emotionally vulnerable _terrifies_ her. The moment Shinji tried to push even the small boundary of initiating physical contact without her bringing it up first, it triggered her emergency brakes.
Kaji... even when he's giving good advice, he comes off as such a user and a cad that it makes everything feel slimy. His post-dating-reveal advice, for instance (telling Misato was a titanic douche move, btw. And risky-it was plainly obvious that he didn't have much confidence in Asuka's affection for him, and if she hadn't genuinely cared for him then she would have *actually* crippled him. Not good for humanity to have a crippled pilot), was delivered in such a way that I hoped Shinji ignored it on principle. Or that it would fail (due to underestimating the extent of Asuka's reaction-frankly, he pretty horrifically underreacted to what Asuka did to him, and from our perspective of her behavior, she seemed broken and betrayed as *shit*) and that Shinji would have to find his own way to reconnect with her.
I was pleasantly surprised at how it turned out-I figured he'd screw up a bit, but how they wound up together this way was just so much more *natural* and wholesome.
Yeah, healing after a serious fight or healing a damaged relationship, or simply coming into the good graces of a lover whose favor you lost, requires forethought and planning. But Kaji managed to make it feel... selfish. Wholly self-serving, with earnest emotion used just to better manipulate her back into your arms. I get that he's a womanizer and all, but still... that said, his regret after things went F.U.B.A.R. was quite humanizing, as well as his behavior in general.
And his explanation to Shinji after the "I'm not happy" bit-absolute genius. You wrote that perfectly. It was absolutely perfect.
Can't say I'm happy with how absolutely retarded Shinji is. True, Shinji doesn't have any social skills (at all) and is absent of any initiative due to his own lack of self-worth, but he isn't *stupid*. He figured out how to defeat Sandalphon, for instance, when neither the scientist nor the military commander could (true, it was a topic he'd just been studying earlier that day, but the point remains that he made the connection from taking abstract knowledge into practical use in a high-stress situation). But in this story, I cannot think of a single point where he has shown any sign of intelligence at all. He doesn't get *anything* and needs to have *everything* explained to him, and sometimes explained again in a simpler fashion. Every situation where he manages to figure something out, it's after it should have been painfully obvious.
I mean, his mother was a genius scientist and his father ran a conspiracy under the nose of a secret cult that controlled the entire world. He grew up in the house of a teacher. There's no reason for him to be this stupid.
I don't get how Asuka thinks Rei is the worst pilot, though. Shinji has absolutely no experience in fighting-the Angels don't do anything beyond attack attack attack, with no skill or training. There's no real fighting involved, and Rei's been in the Eva program her whole life (or at least longer than Asuka, from her limited knowledge). True, he has the best sync score, and that certainly helps with having the sharpest response time in his Eva, but it doesn't actually make a significant impact in how good of a pilot he is. He'd be able to rip through the A.T. Field easier, yes, but unless figures out some way to weaponize his Field, having a stronger A.T. Field through his superior sync score is only a limited advantage. And considering that he's in an Eva imitation that he *can't actually sync with*, his sync score doesn't matter at all. I have no idea why Misato brought it up.
I'm surprised that she's surprised that Shinji doesn't know anything about strategy. No one's ever taught him that, and his training in combat has consisted of "here's how you do this".
I would like to say, though, that taking a defensive position at the beginning of a fight is actually a good idea (if you're competent enough to defend yourself...). It gives you time to get a read of your opponent's abilities before taking the offensive (and thus leaving yourself more vulnerable). Obviously Shinji couldn't pull it off, but he didn't just *stand there* waiting for them to kill him. He just couldn't react to them, and wasn't skilled enough to do so
He really can't blame himself for his performance with the 3rd Angel-he only got in the Eva for the first time and I doubt he'd ever been in a schoolyard fight in his life, so it is only reasonable that he had lost. Berserking is the only thing that saved him.
I really want to see more matches in the next chapter. I'm hoping Shinji will start winning, but I frankly have no idea how-he honestly isn't as good as either of them, and unless he somehow turns out to have a hidden strategic genius, starting to use the very beginnings of strategy wouldn't do more than let him live a little longer before they defeat him, because both of them have been trained for years and he has zilch. I suppose that in Unit-01 he'd have higher performance (because of the superior A.T. Field his connection with mommy gives him), but as is? I don't see it. That said, I *really* hope he manages to painfully, or embarrassingly quickly, kick Asuka's ass. Even if she was trying to drill in how much danger he's in, actually torturing him is *not fucking okay*!
| Dragonjek chapter 1 . 2/7
" You see, Shinji, women are like cows."
Holy shit, Kaji.
| Guest chapter 1 . 1/7
"Just another sort attempt to convince the homophobic shinj fans that he not LGBT."
This review is just another sort attempt to convince the Shinji fans that he's a trash character.
Shinji isn't "LGBT". A single person isn't "LGBT". A community can be LGBT, but not a single man or woman.
So what... if a fan doesn't think Shinji is homosexual, that fan is homophobic? Riiiight.
Shinji being bisexual is arguable. Shinji liking girls is not arguable. It's canon.
Still trolling fanfic writers, I see. Kensuke isn't Evangelion main character and he didn't screw Asuka. Live with it, Madman/Mr. J.
On topic, this story is very interesting. A pity that it died.
| MADMAN chapter 1 . 11/19/2015
Just another sort attempt to convince the homophobic shinj fans that he not LGBT.
| lose chapter 3 . 8/3/2015
I was originally holding out my favorite in hopes that this would finally get finished, but I decided 'what the hell?' after rereading this chapter. Genius. Pure genius. The dialogue is music to my ears. I didn't realize how much I loved this story until it was gone. This is Fresh C in his prime ladies and gentleman. You're seriously amazingly talented, and this story is a testament to that. Spot on dialogue, which is incredibly hard to do, but you did it! And an interesting, engaging story with a great idea. I pray you update this one day. And if that day comes, I'll be waiting.
| Chiusa123 chapter 7 . 4/19/2015
i like so far. also for some readers who never caught on to the original source material, non of the pilots are meant to succeed they're meant to survive just long enough so gendou and seele can enact the final phase of they're plan. they are meant to be sacrificed by powerful and wealthy men, why do you think they get such little if no help at all, haven't noticed? its always enough to keep them going never a enough to save them.
| COBRASTEVE chapter 2 . 2/26/2015
I gotta say, I thought the chat room thing was hilarious! A trick like that can make the chapter a success. Loved it.
| Coldwire chapter 7 . 3/17/2014
Well I found this chapter hilarious, I know you're not really happy with this fic (yes, I have read your profile, bet you didn't expect that) but I hope that you continue it. You warned us on the beginning that you could stop any time and it's been a long time since you updated but so it was last time. So I keep my hopes up.
You are, indeed, better than most (I know you actually DID mean that) so keep writing even if it's not fanfiction.
I'll be checking for updates hoping that you're not dead or something, peace.
| xxelvicioso chapter 7 . 2/3/2014
| Fireminer chapter 7 . 11/15/2013
You're a truly good writer, I say. Never before seen this kind of idea before. Marvelous? Hope you continue to write it soon!
| Flynn58 chapter 7 . 10/12/2013
Oh god, please update this at somepoint, Fresh C. I know that eventually you make your way to dead fics and revive them, just please, make it soon. This is a depressing ending, and while I like depressing stories, I don't like depressing stories in the humor/romance genre. This isn't When She Smiles, man.
| BML2400 chapter 4 . 7/14/2013
This almost would've made an appropriate final chapter. Curious to read more.
| Starfire99 chapter 7 . 12/30/2012
You ever going to update this? It's been SEVEN MONTHS now since a new chapter was posted.
| Kaiki chapter 1 . 11/2/2012
Definitely like where things are going, old premise done in a new way. Using Shinji's socially awkward self to do something other than frustrate the audience to death is nice too.