|Reviews for When it all Falls Apart|
| naresssa chapter 7 . 1/3/2012
Ok I know said yuo there is no more after the babies but it doedn't hurt to ask. Sooooo can their be a sequel pleeeaaasee
| WingsxOfxChaos chapter 7 . 7/13/2009
I loved this story. It portrayed the realistic side of what would happen if Raven had kids. I'm soo happy you wrote this! Check out my profile for some my friend and I have co-written and ones I've done for BBxRavbe!
| titanfan45 chapter 7 . 12/27/2007
I read this straight through and have to say that you did an excellent job of writing this. The list of gifts Raven recieved at her shower was extremely funny. I think you did an excellent job of keeping the characters in character and the story was just the right length. I will be reading more of your work.
| little noadsey chapter 7 . 6/23/2007
i loved this story so much your one of the best authors i've ever come across, and you are so good at writing realisticly good luck on any future storys i cant wait to read more.
| little noadsey chapter 3 . 6/23/2007
wow im kinda speachless this is so good and realy realistic and i think you had a right to mention abortion in your story it's somthing that could happen, and as we know teenage pregnancys do happen and people do think about abortion (and i disagree with anyone who says people dont exspecaly scared young teenage perents to be) you have a right to mention it and if we all aviod things like abortion and teenage pregnancys and cant cope with more serious issues then i dread to think how some people might cope with important issues and things like that happen in real life
| Mortal Guardian chapter 6 . 5/13/2007
I have to commend you on one thing. There aren't many short stories out there where a good story can be told with a lack of dialogue. Granted there is actual dialogue in this chapter, but a great deal of your story goes without it.
Secondly, you like others (I've written one, also - 'The Guarantee'), are giving them more than one child in a single birth. In this case, twins. Not a flame, an observation.
| bbissocute chapter 7 . 5/12/2007
Gosh, at this rate, I'm gonna run out of room on my favorite stories list! Excelent work, once again. Man, I am serious, I really hope you are a profesional, because if you arn't, the world is missing a great author. Anyway, I'll stop rammbleing, just wanted to let you know how wonderful your fics are (again). Keep it up,
| Demigod chapter 7 . 4/9/2007
Wow, this is extremely cute.
Makes me want kids.
It's really well done, and Beast Boy definitely shows the glow of a new parent, going on about Zuri's beauty and Elektra's looks at well. The vision of raising them, and all the fun little kidsish things was a lot of fun to read. I have my suspicions that if I ever have a daughter, she won't be able to date until she's 40 either.
This is a great end to a great story.
| thisaccounthasbeenemptied chapter 7 . 3/31/2007
Great story. It was very descriptive, and very interesting.
| dr.evil99 chapter 7 . 3/30/2007
Title from Maurice Chevalier? Classic.
I like that you ended this with Gar, and I like that it ended so upbeat. Granted, he's got trepidations, but so much has happened to Gar and Rae over the course of this that I'm glad it ended this way. You dealt with a lot of emotions, and a lot of real-life issues, so the kids deserve a little happiness. And I admit, the shipper in me wonders what kind of people these children will end up being, but that's another tale, I suppose.
Thanks for another wonderful story! U know this was a hard one to write, but trust me, all the toil was well worth it. This is a classic.
| Coeus chapter 7 . 3/30/2007
Excellent work. I've been away from the site for a while, I think chapter 3 was the last I had read before today, so I just re-read the whole story. I will try to be brief so as not to bore you, but I do want to make sure to hit all the high points that I haven't previously reviewed.
I think you really nailed Cyborg's and Robin's reactions. Cyborg was protective and understanding (to Raven and Beast Boy), Robin angry and disappointed, but eventually coming around. Very nicely done.
The reconciliation in chapter 6 was real, and the dialog was very good. It wasn't overly emotional or melodramatic. It could have easily plummeted into Days of Our Lives, but you avoided that.
And this last chapter was a wonderful ending to a wrenching ride. I think ending it with Gar was excellent, especially since he was the one who ran. His thoughts, his happiness, his doubts, they are all very realistically portrayed.
There was absolutely nothing wrong with the length of the story. I suppose you could have dragged it out into an endless angst-fest, but I think there are plenty of badly written stories out there without you suddenly deciding to contribute to them.
Again, excellent work. The whole story was genuine and touching, with wonderful depth and subtlety. I would love to see the companion piece if you are inspired to write it, but regardless I am glad I had the opportunity to read this.
| Agent of the Divine One chapter 7 . 3/28/2007
It's a good ending to an otherwise harrowing tale.
I can only imagine the "excitement" that will be present at the twins first birthday party. :)
| Christian-Aero-Captain chapter 7 . 3/28/2007
Oh, SWEET! Perfect ending. Bravo and ENCORE! Nothing like the steriotypical bb/rea twins every body reads. LOVE it!
| Kayasuri-n chapter 7 . 3/27/2007
Oh, a small companion peice of first birthday? FUN! -clears throat- Anyways...
This was a good ending. It was... sweet. Poor Gar, being threatened by Raven. And babies with four red eyes... yup, if they were healthy he wouldn't care. Right. He might care, a little, especially if one of them ends up needing glasses. -grin- That's a case for Cyborg to deal with, I think.
(By the way, according to Call and I, if Teen Titans were combined with the show Inuyasha, Trigon would be a Deer Demon.)
| CalliopeMused chapter 7 . 3/27/2007
Gorgeous, as always.
... and I really think I should explain. Mourning Becomes Electra/Elektra/some freaky Greek spelling is a Eugene O'Neill play, based on one of the most messed up families in literature. Of the two daughters, son, and parents- one daughter sacrificed to Artemis by the father, mother killed the dad, and the son killed the mother.
Elektra convinced her brother to kill her mother, and her mother's lover, after her mother killed Elektra's father and his concubine. (This might have been out of some resentment over Iphigenia, who was sacrificed to Artemis to get winds for their sails while they headed to Troy.)
To straighten out the mess- Elektra's mother killed Agamemnon, leader of the Greek forces at Troy, who decided Cassandra of the never-believed-prophecies would be a lovely spoil of war.
There. I think that's most of it. So, fair warning- if I'd had any idea I was naming a baby, I would have thrown a different mythological figure around. When you have a complex named after you (i.e. Electra complex, Oedipus complex), you know you're screwed up.
So. Enough random spouting about myths. I loved this chapter/this story, and I would love seeing what you can do with originals. Once you start writing longer... it gets easier. It's the first long story that takes awhile to plan out. All the psychos who dropped out at the beginning have no idea what they're missing.
And the twins? Come on, you know you want to write the beautiful and the messed-up-gorgeous- how much havoc can two babies cause with cake?