|Reviews for Love in the Tennis Court|
| mintry1295 chapter 8 . 11/30/2008
That's so cute! Kawaii! Please update soon, it really is great!
| AmaterasuFaia chapter 4 . 8/18/2007
I like this story but the parts about Yukino and Yuki were too fake and need some grammar changes, but beside those stuff this story is pretty good. update soon!
| nekosaru chapter 8 . 5/25/2007
I wonder who made it? Interesting story please update soon:3
| Guest chapter 3 . 1/22/2007
Okay, first, please stop switching back and forth from past tense to present tense, it's very annoying and makes the story choppy.
"Oh yeah! I haven't noticed viper kid/grins/" Momo turned to Kaidoh with teasing eyes.
You shouldn't add /grins/ while the person is still talking, instead, you should have put something along the lines of "Momo grinned, then turned to Kaidou with teasing eyes."
And what Momo said didn't really make much sense: "I haven't noticed viper kid", Momo should have said that he didn't mention Viper, not viper kid.
"She was that cute/beautiful." You should have put 'and' instead of the slash.
Atobe wouldn't randomly say "Ore-Sama no bigi ni yoi na" when someone walks into the room.
The way you put the lyrics of the songs made it hard to tell what was going on, in the first part they sing anyway.
I think you might want to get a beta or at least re-read over your work a little more carefully, there are a lot of grammar errors, usually just missing a period at the end of sentences and a lack of commas.
The whole "Tamaki beating Tezuka" thing is really unlikely, but your characters are already Mary-Sue, so whatever.
You should give credit to the place you got your songs from, at the very least, put a disclaimer on the first chapter saying that you got the songs from TeniMyu and the other places.
The characters seem a little OOC, for instance, when you say that "The guys fell on the floor because of how corny Yukino’s joke sounded.", they wouldn't have fallen on the floor laughing, or whatever they were doing, because of a corny joke.
Personally, I can't stand OCs, they always come off too strong and are very annoying, especially when a character falls in love with them.
One last thing, it's impossible to play tennis to music, to co-ordinate your moves to the music, and still hit the ball.
I'm not trying to be mean or anything, but I have to admit, this story just doesn't work.
The plot is interesting and all, but I think you could have pulled it off without the OCs.
| neverbetter21 chapter 6 . 1/5/2007
i like this story! update soon!)
| Liek Traum chapter 3 . 12/9/2006
... I don't find this story very believing.
If Tezuka has a little sister, I don't think she'll be able to beat her brother, unless she started way earlier (perhaps about two years or more, because people can catch up very fast in one year if they practice all the time) than her brother. Also, Tezuka is a boy. If both of them are very fit, he would probably have a high percentage of winning.
I'm not biased against females (because I'm female) but I do know their strengths and weaknesses. I am a tennis player, just to tell you that.
Also, people don't play to music during tennis matches. It's very distracting. Very very very distracting. It's okay during practices, but it's rude to play in important matches. During stressful situations, it's annoying because you have to concentrate on hitting the ball, but there's music all around you.
I understand if they use dancing moves in tennis, but coordinating them to music is almost impossible, because the ball moves by the player who hit it.
There is just thing as "coordination" in tennis, but it's in respect to the ball.
Also, the characters are rather OOC, and the your OC characters seem Mary-Suish. I don't you should have them pretend to compose the songs that were composed by someone else (unless you give credits to the people who actually wrote the song.) It's best they were original.
The story itself is rather choppy in sentence structure and flow. Also, grammar is somewhat bad too. You might want to get a beta-reader.
I understand you're a new writer, yes? You might want to plan out your story more. The story idea is interesting, I will wait to see how it will pan out.
| Mad Mardigan chapter 1 . 12/9/2006
uhm, you do know Tezuka is his LAST NAME, not his first? They put the surname first in japanese. So, in American he's Kunimitsu Tezuka... so your female oc is actually a little boy named Kunimitsu Tamaki.
| swtjapgrl chapter 3 . 12/9/2006
How cute! Tezuka getting beaten by his sister and has to sing!
| PeachySilicate chapter 2 . 12/8/2006
Interesting... Update soon .
And you got all the romaji for the song... I've been looking for it for so long... T-T
| kikumarubazooka chapter 2 . 12/8/2006
erm. i dont get it about e numbers right at end, wat does e number beside their names represent? wat about e numbers below?
| Dazed Dreamer chapter 1 . 12/1/2006
This seems interesting. I'll wait for further chapters.
| RAMEN-monster chapter 1 . 11/30/2006
funny story hope yu upd8 soon!
| mesmart chapter 1 . 11/30/2006
Hi. I'm mesmart.
This was a bit interesting at the beginning, but just telling you now, it's Coach Ryuzaki, not Coach Riyuzaki.
I highly discourage you to drop the two other characters. Your story has a great idea; please don't ruin it by adding some Mary Sues.
mesmart, off and away!