|Reviews for The Glomp Stories|
| serenity600 chapter 3 . 4/13/2007
sorry I keep writing...
Ok, got it figured out!
| serenity600 chapter 2 . 4/13/2007
'course is this u and ur friend? or is it from a book I've never read?
| serenity600 chapter 1 . 4/13/2007
Huh, thats original.
I think I might try writing up something from my friends note
passing with me...-If u don't mind!
| xXRemnantOfChaosXx chapter 10 . 4/3/2007
Kai: Hi! *Glomps you*
Kit: Don't worry about the flamer Kai will take care of them.
Kai: *Axel's chakrams appear in her hands* OH MAKIE GO BURNIE! COME RIKU WE FLY!
Riku: We can't fly.
Kai: Damn. Then I'll get the key's! *Run's out of room*
Kit: Riku you do know she isn't old enough to drive yet and she can't drive either, right?
Riku: Crap. *Runs out of room but sticks head back in* Hi Sora! *Leaves to go save Kai from killing someone*
Kit; Now I'm all alone.
Kit Demy-chan! *glomps Demyx*
Demyx: Hi, Kit.
Kit: This review is over so I can get to kissing my Demy-chan! Ja ne! ~Kai & Kit The Kitsune Twins!
Kai: RIKU STOP GRABBING MY ASS!
P.S. Please show review to Sora & the others. Thanx!
| MissTwilightBandit chapter 10 . 12/18/2006
k well i lub ur story randomness ish fun. i can't wait for more _. o but u need more Riku cause Riku's awsum (plzz excuse meh fangirlishness) i cant wait for more.
| Gray-Rain Skies chapter 1 . 12/7/2006
Umm, hate to sound totally mean here, but I really couldn't get through reading this. It's...not even really Kingdom Hearts. Sure, the names are given (somewhere randomly in other chapters), but where's the characterization? Where's the story line? Where's grammar and full English sentences and description?
I flicked through the reviews and noticed someone else commented on this, but I'll say it anyway; script format is not allowed here. Plus, you switch off from using correct words, such as "You're", to using variations one would use online, such as "ur." That made me wince. You should always use real words. Anything else is pretty much a sign of laziness or ignorance.
And, through skimming other pages, I've found that there's no description, simple actions or body language, or even real conversation here. Even if it's note passing, you have to actually PASS the note, so why not take the pains to go into description about that? Granted, there still wouldn't be much of a point, and it wouldn't relate to Kingdom Hearts, but it still wouldn't be so confusing to read. Such as when you have "Me: (explaining action...)" versus "Me: (talking...)." It would be so much clearer if you actually full-out explained that you were doing something and sentence form, like, "I did so and so," and put in quotations things you said, like: And I replied, "Well..."
You also switch from using regular print to using bold. It's rather distracting, and an all-bold story is hard to read anyway.
I sound awful, don't I? You probably hate me, and I'm sorry if I insulted you, I really am, because I don't like flaming and so hope this doesn't come across as a flame; that's not my intention. Though you probably find me utterly insincere.
You probably don't want to do so, but maybe try flipping the story around (or making another one with this situation) so that it is the cast of KH having weird conversations and experiences. Add in some description, some witty dialogue, and describe their actions, so that it's more story and less script. I dunno.
Forgive me if I totally insulted you. I honestly didn't mean to do so.
| Kingdom Lyoko of fedual heroes chapter 2 . 12/7/2006
i feel so sorry for Ryan but nice chapter
| Kingdom Lyoko of fedual heroes chapter 1 . 12/7/2006
| K chapter 6 . 12/7/2006
"What do you think, Vincent Valentine?
Thank you, Vincent. I think that sums it up rather nicely.
A fanfic is something you put time and effort into writing in a prose style. This is script format and I can tell you put almost no effort into it at all. The Kingdom Hearts characters are barely even present.
| NoFangYou chapter 7 . 12/4/2006
What will we think up next? lol, probably some more randomness XP *Glomps you*
| MissTwilightBandit chapter 1 . 12/1/2006
XD glomps are fun keep going i see interesting stuff coming
| zukosfire7 chapter 1 . 12/1/2006
yay! Brookey, I love you! And i also love that note. And I can't wait to read all the rest of crazy notes.
| Fugitive chapter 1 . 12/1/2006
What does this have to do with Kingdom Hearts?