|Reviews for An Old Friend|
| Mask1 chapter 9 . 3/22/2007
Hey thanks for my cookie. Didn't last long. I snaffled it up in a couple of mouthfuls.
Fav bit of this chapter is the actual explanation of the settlement and the interchange between Elin and Mieran where he discovers she has known he was in love wityh the captain longer than he has known himself. :0)
Looking forward to were this is going next.
By the way this line "They crept along the ravine, silent as the mist and seeming just as insubstantial." is excellent description work. More like this please.
And this, which came striahgt after:
"Elin kept a tight hold on Riishu’s hand, not wanting to lose her in the twilight." fits in beutifully. They are feeling almost insubstantial and Elin must be afraid that the whole life tuerned upside down falling in love is maybe insubstantial too. Just a very subtle but nice touch.
| Mask1 chapter 8 . 3/20/2007
A few things. Kuran got hurt! NO!
But they way you have him healed... fantastic. The music and the vivid descriptions of the green light. I almost felt Kuran regrowing myself! I also was touched by the power of their despair and keening grief and I could understand why Elin suddenly just spontaneously joined in.
Absolutly fantastic bit of the story that.
Some good fluff too. Are lovers are together aaw...
Another linguistic sweety was this "The group slowly diluted into the caves" I love your use of the word 'diluted'. Its almost as if they are disappearing becoming one with their surroundings. Very appropriate for Kaggonesti elves.
| Mask1 chapter 6 . 3/19/2007
Very good. From the moment you put in this line
"As he watched her putting on a strong front for the other Kagonesti, her long brown hair shining in the sunlight, Elin felt a jolt of something else."
I thought there is going to be some rromance here.
Proved right :0) I wonder when it will blossom fully. It won't be easy as they are in the middle of a war. Seems Kuran has accepted Elin fully now and even lightened his mood. Still I love his loyalty and his suspicious nature. One of these days the fact that he is cautious with whom he trusts is going to save Riishu's hide!
So time to find out who this human is and what she has t o offer the group. Write on.
| Mask1 chapter 5 . 1/12/2007
A fascinating story, Russa.
I have a feeling you enjoyed the Lost Histories books... The Kagonesti and The Dragons by Douglas Niles. Wonder if that is true.
The story. I like.
I feel quite pulled to the character of Kuran. The hero got his power to easily and I can imagine that smarting if I were Kuran. It is easy to see how he has come to be resentful of non-Kagonesti especially as they are all at war. Even more so now they have been ravaged by the humans as well as at war with the other elves. So love that character, though he has been deceptivly quiet about Urea the new arrival. Surly that won't last! I guess it might though after all he won't want to have to apologise again like he had to with Elin... hmhm I am dying to find out. Has he learnt his lesson?
It will be great to hear more on Carine too... I love the supporting chars in these stories and I hope you keep developing them.
Just a question are you going to expore the past between Riishu and Elin in more detail in later chapters... I think it would be a good move, but hey thats just me.
Way to make writing better? Maybe you could try making it a little more seamless. It leaps from event to event usually with someone suddenly running or saying something. Try and smooth it out and take you time.
Great writing I'll review again when you update.