|Reviews for Metroid: Solitude|
| G3rain1 chapter 3 . 4/8/2008
Hey, this was pretty good, you certainly should continue it. I liked your personification of Samus. Talking to her suit was a nice touch. And you built some solid and interesting OCs.
My only issue is that you made them way too powerful, or maybe you made Samus too week. She should have easily been able to take them and withstand the attacks they threw at her; she's taken far worse in stride plenty of times, so it seems a bit odd to have her brought down so easily. Especially considering you mentioned her suit had been heavily upgraded from her Talon IV Mission.
Other than that everything seems excellent. Please continue.
| Vaekrix chapter 3 . 7/28/2007
Y'know, I'm usually pretty picky about what I read. There are very few writers that have that certain style that keeps me reading...yet your writing style just happens to be one of them. Seeing as most of the time it's the styles of Tom Clancy or some other big time writer, I'm very impressed. Your story keeps me wanting more, so keep it up. ;)
| Shaden chapter 2 . 12/6/2006
Interesting twist. Normally I wouldn't be able to see Samus getting beaten, but surprise and a live wire has won many a battle. Not exactly original, but I doubt originality would have beaten Samus. I look forward to Davin's reaction, and a longer chapter. (I like long chapters :)
| Shaden chapter 1 . 12/5/2006
Thank for reviewing my fic, first of all. I haven't gotten many. I don't plan to write another Metroid fic, but you never know... I don't usually read Metroid fics, but I figured I'd have a look at yours and it's pretty good too. Please finish it. You have no idea how many good fics I've seen that get abandoned at the best parts, or before they even really get going. You have a good premise, and your grammer is better than most of the fics I've checked out, so keep going
| alleycat1312 chapter 1 . 12/5/2006
Oh yes, we have a pretty little story on our hands here. I won't fluff this up with big words, I'll just get to it.
You have an excellent voice/style. How long have you been writing for? Your vocabulary is fine but might profit from some expansion. I found no grammar or spelling errors, except for some slight confusion in the paragraph about how Davin had nowhere to leave Malysa. Your use of the pronoun "they" was confusing, it would have been better to use "he".
You get lots of kudos for creating two interesting and, even thought a bit cliche, believable OC's. (pointy teeth, hatred of pirates, siblings, Malysa being a teenager ect.)
But, and here lies a weakness, there are in consistencies.
1. Samus cloaks her ship, but then Malysa recognizes her readings.
2. How old is Davin, and please don't make him a persona of yourself. ( your penname...)
3. Where did they get the money to outfit the ship on the blackmarket?
4. If they decked out said ship, why wouldn't they get a cloaking device? That would be one of the first things I would get for tracking Space Pirates and avoiding the Federation.
5. You mentioned that Davin and Malysa had been on other missions; they have some experience. So, if they've stolen and out run the Federation and are tracking pirates, how could they be defeated so easily? Granted, Samus is Samus, but give them a little fight.
6. I know you said that you'd only played MP:1 and 2, but most people after the first metroid knew Samus was a female.
Other things being, what is an EV? And I like your Samus. You gave her the typical cold personality but gave a ray of humanity when you said she couldn't just kill the girl and dump her.
Finally, you've sent up quite a second chapter. Please make it a good battle and not a blow-out.
Happy typing to ya.