|Reviews for Ninjas in the House|
| Mengsk chapter 3 . 11/23/2010
I liked it better when they were at each others throats.
I suppose Bonnie does have a point in that she did not know he had a girlfriend. Not so easy to blame her for tricking him into a spa. Wow, I guess Ron did treat her worse.
That was a cute little narrative of Kim's, wondering when Ron was going to open up to her. I wonder how long it takes her to realise she is being eclipsed by Bonnie as Ron's number one BFF? And her reaction? Bound to happen eventually, she found her significant other and suddenly Ron isn't in the picture so much (or at all practically. They way you've been utilising him up to this point).
Neat pants joke.
| Mengsk chapter 2 . 11/19/2010
The ninja plot was just a rather odd diversion really. I'm not sure it had anything to do with the primary issue of the story. I feel like they were thrown in at random to provide a little conflict because a Yori and Ron breaking up fic seemed a tad too slow. Not enough of an excuse to write a fic on the subject.
Several aspects were quite jaring. Bonnie beating up even a half trained ninja so easily. Flip flopping of having some of Sensei's children and grandchildren following strict tradition, others functioning in normal society. Then there is the ghost. I'd be worried if I knew a ghost was living in the nursery. I have to assume an earlier tale has proven the ghost to be benevlant yet you can't be too sure with ghosts.
| Mengsk chapter 1 . 11/18/2010
I had no bloody clue which story came next so I took in the chrono order thing.
So... That was messed up. Why?
Best reason I can figure for the harshness is you enjoy RonBon pairings and thought to drop Yori hard. From a very high place.
| Itachi's aprentice chapter 3 . 4/6/2010
| Itachi's aprentice chapter 2 . 4/6/2010
Great work. If she had conceived while in Middleton Ron's child would lead the school someday. If not, she would accept her husband as true head of the school. Will you expand on this someday?
| Itachi's aprentice chapter 1 . 4/6/2010
Great work. I thought Yori would said she had Ron baby.
| Alexander - Godslayer chapter 3 . 1/10/2010
Well, that’s some painful ending there. Ron has my sympathy.
Anyway, now to this story. I must say I’m surprised at how long Ron’s romantic adventures are lasting, but nevertheless, it’s still interesting so I got nothing to complain.
All in all, despite how I found myself thinking that the Ron/Yori aspect was worked cheaply easy on “Best Enemies” (that’s it, the fic, not the whole series), I found myself cheering for Yori when I saw just how much Ron loved her, and couldn’t help but to feel really sorry for how those two were drift apart.
Things with Bonnie were dealt with well enough too, even if only for making things last more, but I guess I really couldn’t see Ron ending up with Bonnie by the end of this fic and find that credible or pleasing, now could I?
So on one side we got Ron and Bonnie rebuilding their friendship and waiting to see what happens next, while on the other we have a might-be pregnant Yori which will use this possibility to determine her future. And so we’re left with another hell of cliffhanger you damn, miserable teaser! XD
Ron should probably be jealous of Felix’s good ending by now…
But anyway, around this episode and “The Odd Couple”, I should say that narration and dialog were pretty well worked and balanced overall. So nothing to complain around here either, I’m a happy reader (in that aspect, at least).
I’ll see whatever happens next. Just make sure not to spoil me anything for how this is gonna end. I wonder how far I am from Jane’s birth and for Kasy and Sheki to start staring some stories. Never mind, I’m sticking to chronological order (as far as that goes, considering what you’ve told me about other episodes going all around the series).
So see ya around the forum and in next review.
Yours, “Child of Chronos” Alexander/Alexlayer.
| Tjikicew chapter 3 . 7/10/2009
Houston, we have Ronshine or it might be Ron who gets a shiner.
Great story arch!
Thanks for the share!
| Big Ace 1 chapter 3 . 6/3/2008
Dear King in Yellow,
I have had sutch fun with a storyline in as this one, trying to
determan what will happen next.
My hope is that you will keep the story line going.
But i do have some Questions.
1. What Brought on the Problems with Wade and Joss?
Nevr mind Big Ace 1
| TempestDash chapter 3 . 5/20/2008
I think I left off here the first time around, so I pick up reading through your world with Ninjas in the House.
A quirky tale, brief, but interestingly composed. Yori's grand love for Ron is 'Aw' inspiring, but since it happened almost entirely off-camera we really only have your word for it that it was as great as Ron and Yori seem to indicate that it is in their final meeting. Because of that, the reader (or at least I) tend to sympathize more with Bonnie, because we've seen more of her with Ron. Yori's devotion to Yamanouchi comes across as cold - though there are some moments when we realize her affection for Ron - and her scheme to conceive with Ron and have his heir run Yamanouchi is very off-putting. For all her love for him, she's willing to hide the fact that she is trying to secretly have his kid. And while she says she's loyal to Yamanouchi, this scheme seems to indicate the loyalty is only skin deep and she's actually trying to trick them.
I dunno, the more I think about it, the less appealing Yori's character becomes and I don't think that was your intention.
On the other hand, Bonnie and Ron's plight IS very interesting and it was very rewarding to see them come back together at the end, even if it was just 'Revenge of the Status Quo.'
The nonchalant way that they all deal with the ninjas is hilarious and I didn't think it was going to remain amusing throughout the entire chapter only to be proven wrong. I'm a little disappointed that the female ninja was purposely given extra development only to have her meet the same fate as her otaku brethren.
Fukushima comes across as equal parts honorable and spiteful, which is odd to say the least, but I'm expecting this to only be the setup for future appearances so it didn't grate on me.
Overall, this story answers questions that were on readers minds, but seems like a brief interlude between larger tales. I think that was what it ended up being anyhow, so that's probably not a bad thing.
| Mirenope chapter 3 . 5/20/2008
That was hillyarious. Good show, my good man.
| Wispr chapter 3 . 5/1/2008
That last bit with wanting to sleep with Shego was funny. Good work on this story.
| Wispr chapter 2 . 5/1/2008
Yori being forced into a marriage to me is one of the most sickest things a parent can do to their child. Very close to rape. A good but angst fill chapter.
| Wispr chapter 1 . 5/1/2008
Ron's a Ninja... he should assassinate the other guy. ;)
ok... now I'm off to bed! lol
| chao-hellsing chapter 2 . 3/26/2008
Okay, now I really want to see pictures of the white lady. For some reason it makes me think of X Holic.