Reviews for Chained
SaphireDragon11 chapter 9 . 11/23/2007
BarkingPup chapter 9 . 11/23/2007
Your story keeps me entertained through every word and sentence. I don't think it's stagnant really, in any scenes.. sometimes you draw out the drama a bit long but that's often a handy writing tool so I wouldn't worry about it too much. I, myself don't like writing like that but I know a lot of people do.

Your flow of words is excellent, all the scenes flow easily into eachother and the dialogue is excellent.

I look forward to the next chapter
Me-agaisnt-the-world chapter 9 . 11/23/2007
AMAZING! That basically sums up my experience. The suspense and flow is kept throughout the entire story, and keeps the audience guessing throughout. I believe that the amount of action from the beginning to now has improved and overall your writing has gotten better.

I also see that your characters (and how you portrayed them through your story) have stayed IC a lot of the time, and you found a distinct balance between DP and your own interpretation. That was simply awesome and inspiring and I can't wait to see more

Kyasarin-Maarukeehii1 chapter 9 . 11/23/2007
O_O ... Oh...My...GOD. n What did you DO? Danny, WHY? *sobs* That was...NU! And Valerie...WHY did you think that this was going to HELP? It was made to hurt ghosts, not to help them! *slumps down in her chair* That was...that was just evil. You have to update now, soon, to make up for it D

1) Your flow of words was good _ I think at one point you missed a word though, somewhere in there.

2) It kept my attention all right! Gah, that was mean!

3) This, stagnant? Psh, there hasn't been 'stagnant' the entire story!

Update again soon! Congrats on over 200 reviews!
Aquawyrm chapter 9 . 11/23/2007
It doesn't say that it's done, though...your flow of words was exclent. The entire chapter had my full attention (that is a very rare thing). Stagnent? Not at all.

This chapter was about as confusing as a Xanth book (which is to say, not at all), and the whole fire thing was getting old. I remember thinking (about a previous chapter) "When are they going to die or escape or whatever?"

Also, I get the feeling that Danny was frozen solid, but not killed. Ghosts can handle considerably colder temperatures than humans can...(I cite Uban Jungle).
Psychic-Ghost chapter 9 . 11/23/2007
What was the weapon? What just happened? Hurry and update!
Anne Camp aka Obi-quiet chapter 9 . 11/23/2007
Shorter list this time, eh? Lol.

1.) Was my general flow of words okay?

Yeah. I mean, you've spent the last how long describing the only problem is, after all that description and intense feelings in the last chapters, we only got the feelings here. She found a weapon on her belt? What did it feel like? Had she fotgotten it? It's been a while, so maybe you'd like to remind us if she did remember it earlier and actually said something about it (because I still don't think you killed Danny, just the way you said/wrote this).

2.) Did the scene keep your attention all the way through?

Yep. No problem here.

3.) Is this story finally coming around the bend as far as action goes, or is it still kinda stagnant in the scenes?

I don't think it ever really was stagnant. This isn't supposed to be an action based story, and therefore it's not supposed to be a really fast moving one. You want us to go through their feelings, thoughts...everything. Take the agonizingly slow and painful way out, because that's what makes this story different, and better.
Erik's Protege chapter 9 . 11/23/2007
That was so so so cool! THANKS FOR POSTING! KEEP GOING! Whoo-hoo! Wow, so did not see that coming! Good job n.n
ShatterMyMuse chapter 9 . 11/23/2007
Hey! You updated! YAY! I haven't really reviewed before...but I saw your story UPDATED and I was so happy and I was like "well, she updated, so I guess she deverves a review...either that or a cookie!" So here I am congratulating you on your new chapter! YAY! Again...UPDATE PLEASE!


~todo es justo en amor y guerra ;P

(all's fair in love and war)
DPcrazy chapter 9 . 11/23/2007
D-Dany...d-died? NO! :(
Invader Johnny chapter 9 . 11/23/2007
You just HAVE to hate Valerie now... I mean Danny tries to save her sorry ass from death and what does he get in return?

A blast in the chest.

Damn ghost hunter.

Invader Johnny Signing Off.
mystery writer5775 chapter 9 . 11/23/2007
You have to update! Danny just can't die! *shakes head in strict denial* please update soon and relieve my suffering!
VioletWho chapter 9 . 11/23/2007
PLEASE dont make danny die PLEASE! you should also put more sam tuck jazz and dani in there...awesome chapter!
epobbp chapter 9 . 11/23/2007
woot update soon!
ShadowLord9 chapter 9 . 11/23/2007
Finally! You updated! That chapter was awesome! I haven't felt my heartrate increase during a chapter in long time! But... Awe, come on! You ended a cliffhanger with a bigger cliffhanger? *Sob* Update again soon please!
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