Reviews for Pits
Guest chapter 22 . 7/23/2012
You ARE a good writer, the biggest mark of being a good writer/author is being able to go over your work (edit as you put it) multiple time to make it better.
Guest chapter 24 . 7/16/2012
Great story!
7-12m3 chapter 24 . 7/1/2012
Quite possibly my favorite Danny Phantom fic of all time. Great job!
MahoganyShadow chapter 6 . 5/7/2012
This story sort of reminds me of Hunger Games. Kill or be killed... Creepei... :O
Pinnatus chapter 24 . 4/7/2012
...o.0...

I must say, this took me forever to read through, not just because its so long and involved, but because its so... heavy. I must give a round of applause to you since this monster of a story took a lot of planning and a pretty twisted mind.

You really took the DP universe and twisted it into something very creepy and disturbing. Danny, despite his angstyness (if that's a word), still read Danny through and through. The transformation you gave Walker and his back story was thoughtful and added to the effects of the story. Your OCs were impressive because they were strong, important, but their purpose was still revolved around Danny, which is the point of the entire series. Props to you since many people can't do that effectively.

I like how you still used the other characters in DP in other ways. For a while I wasn't sure about Sam and Tucker (don't scare me like that!) but it all worked out. Valerie, Jack and Maddie's appearances really upped the ante and balanced the OC appearances.

Overall, there are just too many amazing things about this story to even count. It was brilliantly written, detailed, full of emotion and your planning of plot and timeline are apparent. You put a lot of effort into this fic and I want to thank you for sharing it with the world. Since this is longer than "Final Exam" I think the latter is more of a short introspective sequel than anything else. Great Job!
Lolxxx chapter 24 . 3/8/2012
You, my dear, are the definition of 'author'!

It was so well paced and riveting! I swear I felt what Danny felt!

It was so real, and the everything the girl would wonder, you would to. So you didn't know if Danny made it out or not.

Amazing!
ShadowedFang chapter 1 . 3/7/2012
It occurs to me now that I have come back to read this story several times now and have never reveiwed it. This is an inexcuseable oversight on my part. Wonderful writers such as you deserve to know that readers admire their work.
A Spirit of the Stars chapter 24 . 1/9/2012
*blink*

*blink blink*

Oh. My. Gosh.

I... don't know really what to say, other than that was the most epic story I have ever read. EVER. My brain is kinda freak'n out at the moment.

It was so intense! Expecialy in those last few chapters-man I couldnt STOP. READING. Never a dull moment. Have to admit, I have been up in the wee hours in the morning and completly zoned out in class, entirely focused on my little iPod screen many a times.

I love your writing style-describing everything and going so in depth to Danny's psych and fully developing your OC's. It's just awesome.

Thanks SO much for such an increadable story. It's been a fun journey reading it _
DPfruitloop chapter 24 . 1/1/2012
3 days of non-stop reading and I'm FINALLY done! BEST FREAKING CRAP I HAV READ. OMG.
DPfruitloop chapter 21 . 12/31/2011
Authors note at end of chapter... Just about died of laughter. :D
DPfruitloop chapter 15 . 12/30/2011
1am- Have...to...keep...reading...

I...can't...stop...its...too...flipping...awsome...
XxhoneyleafxX chapter 22 . 12/30/2011
Oh my ice-cream loving God... I just read the un-edited version of Danny's fight with Specter.

Excuse me if I sound like an over-confident preteen, pompous jerk with an ego bigger than my house, but that had me cracking up like crazy. And then I got in trouble when my mom heard, for staying up all night reading fanfics on my phone(I think its one AM, too much of a lazy *ss to check :/), which in that case, I silently defend myself by thinking "a phan's gotta do what a phan's gotta do" defiantly and continuing reading once my mom leaves my room. But that's aside the point. Just thought I'd randomly pop up after reading 20 or so chapters to say "thanks for the laugh!" like I'm some genius author that thinks she's so much better than you, that actually turns out to be an over-obsessed middle-schooler DP phan. Great editing skills, though. The two drafts were just so DIFFERENT... but the final drafts are always incredible. You write some great angst there. XDDD

... And I reread this review, and realize there's not really a solid topic. Just a whole bunch of spam. But I guess that, in the end, that's just what I do best. I should change my pen name into some sort of warning for this stuff. Like, "(insert random numbers in random sequence over here)" or something. :P
arquent chapter 24 . 12/15/2011
"I'm not writing this story for you – I'm writing this story for me."

Jesus...I don't even know where to begin. From the beginning I spose. The details starting the story just made it seem like an ordinary day. Danny gets attacked by Skulker, goes to school, lies to parents, the works-right?

Wrong. Danny should have realized something was going to happen. "What more could go wrong?" Really Tucker...really? The way you made the female human have no idea what else was going on, but continued throughout the story...was brilliant. She gave an edge to the story; an edge that gave even more angst to this story.

And that first fight...God, I thought I was going to die. I still remember his name: Crusher. ""Only one of you may survive, kid: you or him. Choose."I looked down at Crusher, who was staring up at me with those crazy glowing eyes. "Kill me," Crusher whispered. "I'll just die tomorrow when they throw me back in here. I'm too injured to fight anymore. Kill me so you can live."

There were tears on my cheeks. Crusher wasn't fighting anymore; I wasn't going to hurt him. "Kill him!" Walker ordered.

"I can't," I whispered, staring down into his eyes."

Who didn't cry there? Then, it just got worse. Slasher, Rose, and the one with no name...Danny didn't want to kill, but he did anyway...just to protect his family. So many damn emotions.

I then cried when Danny shouts about him being only fifteen, that he shouldn't have to deal with this shit...God, this entire story was so intoxicating that it just grabbed you and drowned you in its essence.

"I don't have anything left to fight with but this journal, a picture, a burned scrunchie, and the whatever-it-is Former left for me.

It's just me. Just Danny Fenton.

And I don't know what to do."

I thought you ended it there, and I was going to die, but then I saw the click bar and continued. I was scared of the ending, scared it would be horrible, scared it would be too sappy. But it wasn't, it was perfect. If it was anything else, it wouldn't work.

"A pencil found its way into my fingers and I took a deep breath. Licking the tip of my pencil – a bad habit I'd picked up in the Pits and had to stop doing – I let it touch the paper. Across the top of the page, I scrawled 'final exam'.

Even if I never turn it in, what's one more page?

"Five months ago I was captured by a group of ghosts.."

Then those last few lines...Danny showed bravery there. He knew he had to tell about his experience, and to do it in an essay, when he was going to have to turn it in...amazing...

All in all, I can't say anything bad about this story because it was one of the best that I have ever read.

Amazing job.

-Shannon
Phantomrose96 chapter 2 . 12/8/2011
Chills. I have legitimate chills right now. You know what I’m supposed to be doing? Homework. You know what I’m not doing? Homework. I simply couldn’t resist getting back to this; it’s just so INCREDIBLE! I can’t express with words how masterfully you capture the voice in this. Danny sounds like Danny. I love following his internal monologue and seeing how smoothly it all goes together! It’s far better quality than most, no probably ALL, books I’ve read! I absolutely love the start. I love the misleading first sentences; I love the witty interactions with Skulker right off the bat. A lot of fanfics go super-heroic Danny, super-sarcastic Danny, or super-buttwhooping Danny when they start with a fight, all of which are rather eye-rolling material, but you’ve captured the perfect attitude! Witty and likable and believable and still with just the right amount of butt-whooping! One thing I noticed, and still clearly remember from reading this a year ago, is how WELL you write action scenes! You capture every movement perfectly, explain every action so fully that the image I get in my head is so clear I feel like I’m IN the story! (Having read this before) I can now fully appreciate the beauty of Skulker “hunting down” Danny and having the reward poster in his suit. The misunderstanding Danny and Tucker have of it is just brilliant. I also LOVE Danny’s random internal dialogues: the time calculations and flashbacks to Jazz’s homework meddling and so many others that just pop up; every one is so natural that it just pulls me further into being a part of the actual story. Now: OCs. I could just get down on the floor and kiss your feet over how WELL you make these OCs! I don’t like OCs—No, I HATE OCs. With a burning, canon-obsessed, fan girl passion. This story SINGLE HANDEDLY proved to me OCs CAN be done right, not just right, can be done BEAUTIFULLY. The bumblings of Simon and Theodore, the calm, frustrated intellect of Louise, even just the descriptions of the new members of their gang later on, all of it makes them so likable and believable as ghosts in the series! They’re canon for all I care right now. Next, and I can’t forget this, is your god-like ability with suspense. (Again, I could kiss your feet). Your build-up is so fabulous that the final parts sent chills down my spine. Tucker’s line about, “the pits” was rhetoric genius. Chills there. Chills. It really got to me how the final few lines switch from a “moment by moment perspective” to “I remember” for each line. I can see the moment where (if it were television) the music and sound die out, the character’s (Tucker’s) face slowly falls, and Danny turns around for that one damning second before BOOM, fade to black, voice over, “everything went black, and life as I knew it ended.” Oh gosh I’m having little fits of fangirl spazzing and I’m not even into the bulk of the story yet. You’re an inspiration is all I can say. Truly and honestly inspiring. What you have is a gift, and I want to thank you so much for sharing that with the rest of us lowly humans.
Phantomrose96 chapter 1 . 12/7/2011
I read this fanfiction almost a year ago, and honestly it has never left me. THIS is the pinnacle of fanfiction. THIS is what writing is supposed to look like. The story is so powerful, so heart-felt, so incredibly believable that I feel like I'm not properly communicating how truly AMAZING I think every tiny piece of this is with just words. I wrote mental fanfics of this for months after finishing it (still do). I was left with this empty, uncomfortable, hole in my chest once I realized I finished the last chapter. I lost plenty of time that should have been spent sleeping in order to read this and it was so worth it that I want to re-read the whole story start to finish, probably staying up-again-into the ungodly hours of the morning. This time though, I want to review chapter by chapter, because for all the amazing talent you put into this, I want to at least express my gratitude as best I can. Chapter by chapter. This story got me into fanfiction. This in one of the stories that got me into WRITING in general. A huge part of my life I owe to the influence this story has had on me, and lately I've been thinking about it so much, TALKING about if so much, that I want to read it straight through again so I can remember a year ago when I shut the lights off at 2 AM every morning feeling positively ENLIGHTENED by what I just read. So yeah, as for the ACTUAL review for chapter one:

Immediately, I love the flow of it. The word choice, one sentence to the next, sounds so natural that even without establishing much about the plot, it's already attention-capturing. Next, is the awesome subtlety of the short chapter. The allusion to the "Pits", the prisoners, the cell, and of course "the last prisoner" Danny: already it hints at so much, presents so much possibility (that's completely fulfilled in the chapters to come) that I can't help but love it. Danny's message-again-flows so well that it reads like an honest to god, published and best selling book. From the first paragraph. He's kind of his own disclaimer, and again just by hinting at what's to come you've got my attention completely focused (and of course I know the greatness that's to come). Then it flawlessly transitions into "the story starts here". My favorite kinds of writing have a "preface" that actually gives insight into the thicket of the story, and you've done it so smoothly here that it leaves room for no confusion. You get a special pat on the back for that because this style in other stories by other authors, can come off as confusing if it starts in a setting that doesn't appear until much later. Kudos! Next, the "human". Again, I love the vagueness and the connection of her situation to Danny's. Overall, her purpose in the story absolutely intrigues me, how we're reading the story through the reader. Simply fascinating. So capturing. So awesome. So perfect for the prologue that isn't even into the actual story yet.

On a side note, I will say I have wished for this story to be made into a movie...on many, many occasions.
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