Reviews for Forgiveness
Coeus chapter 1 . 12/14/2006
Excellent work. I really liked this story. This would be great for a twentieth attempt, much more so for a first.

My favorite part was the dream. It was a terror of her own design, accurate to her fears. It wasn't completely logical, and dreams never are. It was struck me as a very realistic nightmare for Toph.

The part after the dream was also nicely done. You write both characters very well, and their interaction and dialog was excellent. You were able to portray both Sokka's caring for his friends and Toph's insecurities with ease.

The only slightest little nitpick I might have would be when Sokka called her perfect. It seemed an odd phrase for him. But it does little to detract from the story as a whole.

Outstanding work. I eagerly await your next story.
A very odd fellow chapter 1 . 12/13/2006
Very plausible story. Personally, I think you've got Toph's and Sokka's characters down quite well. It will take many more chapters and adventures before a complete analysis can be made, but I don't have a single complaint about what I've read so far.
Blufle chapter 1 . 12/12/2006
Wow, this was really good. I liked it a lot. Toph and Sokka were both definitely in character; "Sokka grinned, dusted his hands off as though after a hard day’s work, and sang out, 'I win.'" That is most definitely something Sokka would say!

Sokka and Toph are two of my favorite characters and you portrayed them very accurately. I like your style of writing, it helped pull me into the story. Good job! I'll be on the lookout for another Avatar fic of yours ... -hinthint-
PenInHand9 chapter 1 . 12/12/2006
i love your story. toph always intrigued me as a character and you described her perfectly. you even got sokka's personality down! beautifully done.
MormonMaiden chapter 1 . 12/11/2006
Ooh! Miss are my new favorite! I can tell in your writing the love that you have for Toph, and you have keen and deep insight into her character. Thanks for posting this!
Piezo chapter 1 . 12/11/2006
You're kidding, right? Do BETTER next time? And this is your first Avatar fic? Man, oh man...

This is one of the best Toph stories I have ever read. (Tokka too. I'm squinting really hard...)

I'm going to run the rest of this review in list form... (I find this method easier than rambling.)

1. The dream portion was lushly described and put together well. Your adjectives choices were excellent.

(My favorite; "The weight of the roaring forced her to her knees, bludgeoned on the back of her skull with each syllable, crashing against her shoulders, beating her down.")

2. After the dream, Sokka and Toph's characterization was dead-on. The dialog was great, but more importantly, the parts around the dialog really "put me in" the scene.

3. Throughout the story, there is an excellent rhythm. This is pleasantly noticeable where Sokka bluntly wants to know what's bothering her, when he refuses to leave her earth-tent, and when he describes the Burning Sea, only to bring Toph (and the reader) back to the issue at hand.

Okay. I can't write a review this long without constructive criticism. Here goes:

1. I'm torn on this one. My "overly-fluffy" alarm went off when Sokka tells her that she's "perfect", but my rabid Toph(and Tokka) fanaticism had been dazzled mercilessly up to that point, so I don't know if it balances out...

Alright. I think I've bothered you enough. Fantastic, fantastic job! I'm not in the habit of pleading, but I'll make an exception. I beg of you to write more Avatar.
AssaultSloth chapter 1 . 12/11/2006
This is great. I am a major fan of Toph and Sokka, myself, and this sort of thing really helps sate the desire for more about them. They're both interesting characters that are kindof pushed to the side by the series. I think you did a good job keeping in character, and on balancing dialogue and narration.

The one outright problem I found would be Appa weighs (according to Aang) 10 tons, not 2. I suppose Sokka could just be wrong on that point, but hey, there it is.

Anyway, I liked this a lot and I really look forward to more of your work. Do write more Toph (and Sokka, hopefully).

Changeling10 chapter 1 . 12/11/2006
Beautiful. Simply beautiful. I will be the first to tell you that this was not random. It was lovely writing, all the way through. Lyrical and easy to follow, even.

And, from a fellow Toph-fan, you have the Blind Bandit down. Strong, independent but, deep down, still a young girl who cares about the new friends/family she has found. Excellent work with Sokka, as well. I love him, too, and you nailed his protective, older brother attitude. Toph and Sokka have great interaction in the show. You have captured these two wonderfully. I can see this actually happening in the series. Your dialogue is a spot on.

Once again, great work. I hope to see more from you in the future.

Sifu Toph
23 | « Prev Page 1 2