|Reviews for The Acceptance|
| rawdah03 chapter 1 . 17h
Is this story complete because i cant seem to find iťs not cause iťs great !
| Vampireking40 chapter 1 . 17h
Do they really expect him not to watch TV. Those are some crazy rules to expect a kid to follow and who in there right mind leaves an 10 or 11 yr old depending on when they actually left home alone. That is just bad parenting, even if those two never acted like parents to Harry.
| TheVirtuoso chapter 19 . 7/4
I had a lot of fun reading that. It was difficult at times to keep your OCs straight in my mind. You clearly have a colour photo of each of them in your head but you didn't show us that. I don't even think you told us what each of their hair colours were. I'd sugestion going through the story with a fine toothed comb to pick up the wrong words you used. Similar to autocorrect where the computer registers that the individual word is spelt correctly but not that it makes no sense in the context of the sentence.
All in all I had a lot of fun reading this first year and I'm off to fine year 2.
| Katzztar chapter 12 . 7/3
There is one good - strike that- one very good example of Mr. Wesley's being very talented that flying car. Arthur took it apart enchanted it and put it back together in such a working marvel that it gained semi-sentience! It showed animation and moving about on its own very early on, as soon as Ron crashed it onto the Hogwarts grounds. So it had to already be animated before and not from months of being in the magic rich environment of the Forgotten Forest. It just never had a reason to show being 'awake' until a careless kid crashed it into a violent tree.
| Runecutter chapter 19 . 6/6
I know that you just go with the book, but it makes no sense at all to smuggle the baby dragon right through the heart of the castle to a tower.
Why not use one of the boats from the first day to bring it over the lake to around Hogsmeade Station of the Express? That should be lonely enough to not have any unwanted watchers on and allow it to work just with Hagrid doing the moving, who has a lot easier time of it than a couple of tiny 11/12 year olds. Brooms are capable of landing on the ground, so going up high "to make it easier" is a silly reasoning. What they need is a landmark helping them find the place, which with the train station would be also assured.
"Alohamora", while the hawaiian greeting formula is a nice word, the spell is alo-ho-mora.
"Oh, bullocks", poor Neville.. why does he curse about oxens? A bullock is a "cut" (Eunuch) "bull" (male cow, capable of siring calves), the same as "ox" means. The word you mean is "bollocks" which is an euphemism for testicles (aka "balls", "cohones", "'nads" and so on).
Why would the keeper in a game Kriegers against Falkens (Neither are "posessive" forms requiring an Apostrophe ' so as "mere" plurals it has to be written this way!) be "Heidelberg Harriers' [This IS a possessive so it needs the Apostrophe, but Harriers already ends in S so it doesn't get another one attached as would Kriegers and Falkens - at least in English, the german names would simply be Falken and Krieger, but you do not write in german, not even the Quidditch commentary so it should be done properly] very own"... obviously the woman has to have transferred to one of the competing teams and can no longer be a Heidelbergian player!
Overall as this is the last published chapter, it was a nice story with a couple of well argued and decently executed differences to the standard well known story. For that I like it. It was a bit too drawn out for what you ultimately had to tell, especially the "meddling with people" parts in the Academy were not really giving me anything to enjoy and the Hogwarts bits in turn seemed to mostly try and get the potter story without a potter in it...The only bit truly fascinating and completely necessary seems to have been the Granger's home. (Although it was a bit unfair to admonish Harry over his idea of buying her a book when all other people did not get such an admonishment AND Hermione enjoyed the gifts just as much as the "better" one Harry chose.)
Had Harry had a bit more age appropriate companions in the school, Hogwarts been a bit less recognizable in terms of "the same old plot" and maybe the overall pacing slightly better than 19 chapters for exposition and first year, this could have been great. As it is, it is only "nice", averagely entertaining on a website with hundreds of thousands of stories like that. And occasionally the spelling mistakes, the leftout or confused words got to be too distracting too (If you do nothing else, just print out your rough draft and try to read it out loud in your room while walking around. Any "grievous" mistake will jump at you while trying to pronounce it without focusing 1000% on the words (due to the walking) and you'll know that you have to work that sentence over again ;))
| Runecutter chapter 18 . 6/6
I feel that "Polaroid" is a weird choice as due to the chemical development process involved in the "instant" photographs you take with that brand of cameras it never works without electricity... A cute little entry level Leica, Nikon or Rollei camera ... or maybe even a Lomo (although "lomography" did not become a thing until later in 1992 and right now your story is still at December 1991, right?) with its cult following for weird snapshots made with the as easy as they get cameras... would be far more fitting the general motif of Hogwarts fics... Even though then she'd have to wait til the film gets developed elsewhere... from a bit later in second year Colin Creevey might be a solution to speed that up.
| Runecutter chapter 13 . 6/3
apposed to (opposed)
Harry ginned happily (if you do not mean he drank gin, it has to be grinned ;))
Quodpot is a complete aberration to Quidditch ... Please what? maybe you meant abomination? or perversion of? Not sure if there is any possible sentence about quodpot and quidditch in which aberration makes any amount of sense.
(the "hot potato" comment though made me laugh! The name alone is so suggestive that you do not NEED to know any rules... a bit like "the floor is lava" :P)
I also like your ending... sending owl post to the three remaining marauders sounds like a fun twist to the story... Not sure what will come from it, but Ron getting an owl in his bed looking weirdly at his rat with a letter for "wormtail" in its beak seems a fantastic possibility to freshen up the story a bit... I would LOVE for Neville to be the hero in that situation, hexing Pettigrew when he tries to escape after being discovered :D
Moony might or might not simply answer and as for Sirius... even a "return to sender" not that Azkaban inmates cannot receive post would help to bring attention to Sirius unjust fate... Orhe could get the letter and just decide to release himself early from government custody... both would be nice versions, I'm curious with which one you decided to go along.
| Runecutter chapter 12 . 6/3
Prue Blood in Hermione's letter should be pureblood
And in the A/N Revenclaw (Raven) sucsessfull (successful) and wont (won't) are also misspelled.
As for Mr Weasley, actually Arthur is a good argument against all Weasley's being intelligent... look at how LITTLE he knows after two decades working in the muggle part of the Ministry (including very easy words gotten wrong like "pleasemen", "firelegs" and "ele..." i cannot even misspell it without looking it up ;) Words that are not really any different from what we know magicals talk like. They are not like a conserved version of the Salem Trials or characters from the King James Bible) and how absurdly backwards his views are (and what he has taught his children... Ron did not get why Hermione likes to spend time with the parents, after all they're only muggles... Yeah VERY bright worldview). He is an industrious man and polite without a fault (well okay Malfoy gets under his skin in second year, but elsewise he's a saint if there any was one) which is more than enough to explain why they let him work in a department the whole ministry does not really value and where nobody would want to end up buried, much less banned for life. Success looks different and I'm not sure if the slight expansion of his responsibilities during the war really is an expression of a well deserved promotion or sheer desparation in an understaffed ministry going to war.
Don't get me wrong, I like Arthur for his personality and easy going manners... but he's not the brightest bulb in the candelaber if you get my words... And Ron seems to be much like him, with the exception of the lazy streak on top... a practical person with no interest in theory or in depth knowledge, occasional talents (chess mostly) and generally pretty likeable (okay Ron has also a good deal of Molly's temperament and prejudices, but those seem to be something you might grow out of with the right inspiration... ) So Ravenclaw is ... maybe possible but not a good choice for him, Gryffindor seems to be less taxing and he fits right in.
But that shall be enough of Weasleyology... Harry's letters were nice to read. I preferred that condensed information about how the Academy is different from Hogwarts over the IMO pretty tedious bickering parts of the BH90210 cosplayers that serve as your students. Sorry, didn't want to sound so nasty, but they have far too normal problems for the world to seem magical. Next we'll get "treated" to dozens of "who with whom" romantic entanglements *shudder* Nothing worse in a story containing a dozen OCs than it turning into datenight. I also do not really get the concept of the academy... shouldn't Harry mostly spend his time with other students taking pretty much the same classes as him (that is first grade of the theory stuff until tested up to another level?) instead you show us this wild mix of people 2-10 years older than him? Which makes it a bit harder to sink into the story as it does not really feel like a normal boarding school but more like a club or something. In Hogwarts Harry had only ONE reason to be around people in other years befor ethe DA, and that was the Quidditch Team where others decided who would play alongside him... yet but for the twins none of these played much of a role outside of the games and practise scenes... and the twins were Ron's siblings which made them appear more often, but not really all THAT much.
Harry really could use several others sharing the same level of the experience (completely new to everything magical) to bring the subjects up naturally that in the Hogwarts story Hermione and Ron were there to serve as foil for... Only speaking about it in letters and having all in school scenes play out just with banter and joking around feels strange as the experience of an 11 year old boy... Especially with how often they do not talk about stuff but about books the other MUST read to find out what they are talking about... That is not audience friendly :P
| Guest chapter 11 . 6/3
Was that last thing Hermione's slytherin side shining through? :D
poor Ron. Now he challenged her to TRY and force him into being studious...
| ivorylovessevvy chapter 19 . 6/1
please update soon i love this story
| ivorylovessevvy chapter 17 . 6/1
i think harry and draco should be friends
| Aviendha Aviendha Aviendha chapter 19 . 5/28
Since Harry is taking a class in ancient runes, is he ever going to notice that the scar on his forehead is in fact in the shape of the rune Sowilo? It means the sun, and the power of good. As such, it matches his role in the books quite well. If you want a bit more info on the rune Sowilo, you can look it up online. It is part of the elder futhark alphabet, which is some sort of Norse alphabet.
Have a nice day, and update whenever you get a chance to.
| Slytherin-Icegirl chapter 13 . 5/21
hedwig should catch wormtail and take him to harry then harry should write th the ministry saying thst sirius is innocent
| Runecutter chapter 8 . 5/21
Why do you spell it grimore? It should be either grimorum (the latin version) or grimoire (which came to britain through french like so much medieval culture).
Acadamy should read academy and cannon is a gun, canon is a bit of church law that was used to name the "basic law" under which fantasy universes work, the internal knowledge unique to a series.
Your writing is mostly fine and respects your characters and storyline. Your spelling though could use improvement.
Making Mrs Figgs a relative of Minerva was a nice touch and seeing her worried about how Harry is treated and how nonchalantly Dumbledore waves it away without doing anything, even researching if there is something about the complaints, is a nice change to the pretty inert canon Arabella...
| Runecutter chapter 5 . 5/20
Nice! Although Mrs Granger was kind of scary if you think about how Harry is conditioned to always assume he is in fault first... He shoul dhave a hard time understanding that he is not really the one who did wrong and seeing her so angry would frighten him, as it would with Vernon or Petunia being mad...
You even found a place to include your weird cord-connection (in Hermione being able/allowed to see in the book, if not touch it, while Harry does not want her parents to even see it), which made for a nice effect.
But then I'll always love stories that get Harry out of Durzkaban, kudos for that too!