|Reviews for Hermione's Plan|
| WizardWriting chapter 1 . 8/14
This was an excellent story; I thoroughly enjoyed it. However, I have to say that I didn't enjoy the epilogue too much. There's nothing wrong with it, but the ending just wasn't my style. But, other than that, excellent job!
| Akumi99 chapter 7 . 8/4
I give up. The morality of doing everything but penetration until marriage is so faulty I can't really swallow it usually, but here where Hermione deliberately set out to seduce harry with showing as much as her body as possible without being naked and being sexually assertive enough to be the one to drag him to bed it is impossible to reconcile her with someone that feels it's morally correct to wait until marriage. It doesn't make sense and is ridiculous. She's also apparently running the show on all fronts when it comes to their relationship as well. She's a promiscuous seductress one moment and then a staunch supporter of not having premarital sex? She is self conscious enough that she doesn't think men find her attractive but then she wants to hear all about Harry's sexual fantasies about other girls while in bed with him? There are just too many contradictions in this story for me to handle. I also feel like you're trying to give this weird backwards moral lesson but I can't for the life of me figure out what it is.
Don't get me wrong, I have no problem with abstaining from intercourse as a personal choice or waiting for marriage, but I have a problem with the hypocrisy of every other sexual activity being allowed and somehow penetration passes the decency limit. If it's a religious choice I'm pretty sure abstinence was intended to include other sexual activity and if it's just a moral choice, I think it's a very backwards and contradictory one. If it's just because they don't want to chance pregnancy, then that's understandable in some respect, but it seemed like you were pushing for it to be a moral choice. Which is ridiculous in this context with these two character you've written and with them being horny teenagers already doing everything else. I just can't stress that enough. Oral sex or hand jobs are still sexual acts. If you're going to wait until marriage for moral reasons, don't do it half assed and then pretend it's the moral high ground. I'm also confused by how her talk with her parents about promising to be responsible and not share a bed makes what she doing morally right or responsible in any way. You wrote that they trusted her and then she seduces harry and drags him off to bed to do everything but actually have him penetrate her. My daughter promising to not share a bed with a boy and be responsible only to later tell me she broke my trust wouldn't escape my disappointment or punishment by telling me she's technically still a virgin.
You can still get pregnant without actual penetration you know, and there have been a few cases where semen got through panties and impregnated girls that were unaware that was possible. Not common, but possible and these two apparently aren't aware of any dangers or consequences of their actions. Like sexually transmitted diseases being an issue even without penetration. Sure, they're both virgins, but was that something they knew to talk about beforehand? There are a lot of diseases a parent can pass on to their child that can be transmitted sexually and every young adult should be aware to ask questions before ever engaging in sexual activity of any kind.
So...if you wanted them to seem responsible and morally correct you missed the mark by a huge margin for me. Nothing about what they were doing was responsible or morally correct.
Again, there are just too many odd and contradictory events and narratives in this story for me to continue reading. It's unfortunate since I was so excited to read this just a few chapters ago, but that's okay. You can't make everyone happy with your writing and I appear to be the minority in this instance. Keep writing if you enjoy it and I wish you luck in all things.
| Akumi99 chapter 4 . 8/4
Okay...so she HASN'T told her friends her family are practicing nudists. Then she invited them over for dinner without saying anything? I gave her a pass because it didn't pan out and maybe she would have if everyone agreed to it, but the next day she invites harry over and doesn't mention it. She just drops vague hints and is flirting in a bold manner that's oddly out of character for her. Still, I will give a lot of leeway on that since I'm not expecting this to stay true to the rest of the books from here on out. So ooc moments are expected.
I like that there's character growth shown by both harry and hermione, but I would like to see a little more struggle with it. Well, I guess it's there for them both actually. No, you've done a good job on that. I think Ron's weird about face of abnormal maturity is what's bothering me and maybe that's because there's no development shown, he's just suddenly that way. Also, it seems all his past crude and crass behavior is brushed over. It's disorienting.
Also, there's a lot of mixed signals when it comes to hermiones thinking of propriety. She's fine thinking sexual thoughts about him, fine having him in her home while her parents might possibly be nude, but she's firm on her wearing appropriate swimwear when with harry. It's just weird and confusing. Is she going to be one of those contradictory people who are fine with being promiscuous and doing any and everything but sex? Like they can do whatever they want whenever they want as long as there isn't penetration? Like a membrane in a vagina somehow means she's sexually pure? Because the confusing stance she has on sexuality so far feels like it's headed in that direction.
I kind of really wish you'd have left the nudist part out of this story entirely since it so far just doesn't seem to fit and seems to be being used as a plot device for two sexually conscious kids to be able to see each other naked and lust after each other in a dubiously morally acceptable way with parental permission. That whole swimming scene was entirely for the purpose of them being able to ogle each other and having Hermione show a sudden confidence in her body and sexuality. Oh, and for her to drop hints about being a nudist.
I'm still hanging on and I think I might just have to start skimming a little of the repressive yet progressive sexuality you have here so I don't keep getting whiplash.
| Akumi99 chapter 3 . 8/4
Was NOT expecting the nudist bit. That seemed to come out of nowhere. There was also some really awkward moments with it, but only because the characters were or made it awkward. Like Hermione being uncomfortable hugging her parents. If it was something she grow up in and was completely natural for them to always be in and interact in a nude state, hugging her parents would be comfortable for her. Also, it's weird that there was so much focus on her body hair care habits and a little contradictory. You have Hermione unshaven and apparently she always was in school, but then you have her mom clean shaven, even her pubic hair, because that's what "most nudists do". If Hermione grew up in that environment wouldn't that habit be ingrained in her as well? It just seemed like a really awkward plot device to pay a lot of attention to her body. Also, shouldn't she have ever mentioned to her two best friends her parents her nudists? I've known a few nudist families, although they use the term naturalist, and their kids always told us before we went over for the first time otherwise it's awkward for everyone.
I just think there's a lot of contradictions in this chapter and it made me uncomfortable in an odd way. Not uncomfortable with the nudity, but uncomfortable because Hermione was awkward with it at times and the extreme attention to detail about her naked body and body hair routine that came out of nowhere. I'll stick it out though.
| Akumi99 chapter 2 . 8/4
I kind of feel like Hermione got the short end of the stick in this chapter from Ron's description of her. It was true, but also unfair. Ron's insulted and ignored harry many times over his own immature jealousy while Hermione stuck by him and gave support and made sure he learned things he needed to survive. She's saved both of their lives multiple times and is always there to help them. So one bad year being used to describe her is unfair when every other character has had multiple years of abandoning harry when he needs them. During the Triwizard Tournament is just one glaring example. It's also frustrating to see Ron in the mature role and have him insult or point out hermiones flaws when he has a trigger temper and whenever he is jealous or imagines an insult has been tossed at him he always rips into those around viciously, namely Hermione. Like making her feel like a gold digging tramp or unworthy during the ball for an example. So...Ron's not really qualified to pass any judgements on who is qualified to be a good girlfriend/friend.
Still, I liked the soul searching Hermione did and I did like her examining her faults and making a plan to change them. Everyone needs to do that a few times in life and it's a process of growing up. I just hope you show harry and Ron admitting their faults and trying to grow as well. I get frustrated when authors make harry out to be this paragon of perfect male. He's not. He's often immature and doesn't think ahead to see the consequences of his actions. He also doesn't like to ask for help and won't listen to advice when he decides on a course of action. Ron has a low self-esteem, jealousy issues, and a hair trigger temper. All these things can and should be dealt with and maybe harry and Ron could both make changes as well.
I know this is already complete so my above comment doesn't mean much, but I guess that's how I hope the story will progress. So far I'm curious and excited to keep reading. It seems like an interesting story and as I'm fairly new at reading hp fanfiction, I haven't read a story where a time Turner is used in quite this way. I've read a lot where someone gets sent back a long way in time, but not just short bursts for training. Anways, I'll try to comment occasionally as I read but I know I'm crud at reviewing for each chapter so it'll be sporadic.
| Guest in Europe chapter 15 . 7/18
This was an excellent chapter - the story has picked up, things are starting to happen and you have moved out of teen-smut-romance and into some sort of plot. I'm glad I decided to stick with it and I am training myself to spot the perv-paragraphs and skim them. Bit like reading Thomas Hardy and skimming the descriptions of the countryside!
Thank you for your story.
| Guest in Europe chapter 8 . 7/18
I find myself quite bothered by this story. The premise is interesting and I could suspend belief about the speed of Hermione switching her affections to Harry in order to get the story moving.
However, as soon as I started reading, I began to think to myself, this author must be American... I have never known any other nation so obsessed with the European tendency to less clothing. When I worked with (educated) Americans some years ago, they bought the trashiest newspapers, just so they could ogle the topless models. Meanwhile, my female American colleagues were astounded at women going bare-legged to work in summer instead of wearing what they called panty-hose.
To confirm my suspicions, I flipped to your profile and found not only an American male - no surprise there - but a teacher and father. Good grief man - do you perv over your students and your daughters' friends in this way? And then, utterly bizarrely, you further confirm your weird American sexual hang-ups by having them state they will not be having sex until they are married. Thnking about it, it's not surprising that Americans have odd attitudes to sex if this is the mixed message they get from their educators. Your subtext, that the whole agency of this relationship is in Hermione's hands also buys into the 'woman as Eve', both corrupting and controlling the man, contrasting with 'woman as Mary', the ultimate loving mother. You switch between these two tropes, leaving Harry with no agency whatsoever - poor guy.
Your obsession with the female form is hijacking a potentially excellent story and it's a pity. I'm sort of hoping you will start to focus on the problem of ridding the HP universe of Voldemort and his crew. If you must write teen romance then at least engage with their emotions as well as with the physical manifestations of it.
| peteanderica chapter 32 . 7/4
Wow.. A must read... So going into my favorites
| desireejones99 chapter 32 . 5/21
| Michael chapter 32 . 5/19
One of the best stories I have ever read I loved it thank you for the pleasure
| tneha chapter 1 . 4/26
While a part of me is cringing at Hermione's blatant 'i need to snag my man' to-do list another part of me is yay! u go girl! lol
I'll have to read more to get to know this Hermione. Harry obviously (due to a/n) doesn't stand a chance. lol
| Secundum chapter 3 . 4/14
Hmm...Your nudist thing seems like a needless gimmick. That whole section relating to it felt like you were trying too hard. Here's hoping it doesn't get mentioned again-this was a pretty good story so far.
| Jen chapter 22 . 4/6
| Jimbocous chapter 31 . 4/4
Thanks for a great (re)read!
| stevefocus chapter 32 . 2/3
Great story thoroughly enjoyed it.