Reviews for How To Pick An Xmas Tree and Not Kill Your CMO
Stellar Spark chapter 1 . 3/12/2015
God Jim are you TRYING to kill Doc?
I agree with you McCoy.
Hannah Lynn McDonald chapter 1 . 9/8/2014
Kirk is SERIOUSLY rying to get himself killed.

Now we just need to throw Spock into the picture and his demise will be gauranteed to be soon, slow, and painful. The last two courtesy of McCoy...
Pliffy chapter 1 . 1/2/2011
funny story but I wished it had more of a fluff ending like McCoy see's the tree when it's up and ready the next day?
soaked velvet starlight chapter 1 . 1/14/2009
Since there's absolutely no way for me to describe the sheer hilarity of this story, other than say that I literally had tears in my eyes, stabbing pains in my stomach, and couldn't sit upright if my life depended on it, I'll just quote a couple of passages whose sarcastic brilliance would give Douglas Adams a run for his money:

“What do you think of this one?”


“How about that one over there?”


There was a silent, dangerous pause in the snow filled air.

“Bones, you know you could say a little more than just fine.”

“Okay Jim, how about I’m damn cold.”


"“I did Jim. I did from the second you came up with this cockamamie idea two days ago! I did everything but sing it in a Klingon opera dressed like Scarlet O’Hara."

And the greatest:

"...But you have this innate ability to hear words like, ‘I’d rather dance the cha-cha naked in a cactus patch’, and filter them until they come out as ‘Sign me up! Sign me up! I’d love nothing more than freezing my buns off and dying on some obscure unnamed planet for the sake of your insane holiday euphoria.’ Someone says tinsel or eggnog and some unnamed molecule in your DNA goes off half cocked and the rest of us have to suffer for it."

And the squirrel thing almost killed me. Literally. As in, I almost died of suffocation from laughing so hard. You need to be published.
Moose Gal chapter 1 . 11/25/2008
DetectiveMinerva chapter 1 . 5/30/2008
LOL again! I seriously can't get over how awesome you are at keeping Bones and Kirk in character. I can just see DeForest Kelley and William Shatner walking through the woods trying to pick out a tree... and trying not to kill each other before getting back to the ship. Combine this with "How to Decorate an Xmas Tree in 9 Easy Steps" and you've got yourself an awesome episode of the original series. I'll be waiting for the next Christmas story!

Live Long and Laugh Much,

Kitara Manoru chapter 1 . 12/22/2007
I love your "How to" series. Aren't some of them now missing, though? I was looking for my favorite one, and I can't seem to find it...
dahlin chapter 1 . 1/20/2007
HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! HA! This is the funniest fanfic I've ever read in my whole life! I laughed so much I woke up everyone in the house!
doc chapter 1 . 12/23/2006
HA HA HA HA HA! You are the best at comedy I've ever seen! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
Bleak December chapter 1 . 12/17/2006
I love all of your one-shots...why did you take all of them down?
Firewolfe chapter 1 . 12/17/2006
nicely done