|Reviews for Custom Robo: The Last Stand|
| RPMercenary chapter 1 . 3/18/2008
Maybe I didn't notice it, but it didnt seem to me like you made any establishments to tell a story. It looked like you thought about it, but then lost interest. After I began the freefall off the last word, I said "... and then...?" Honestly, making a full chapter, and then abandoning the story is one thing, but abandoning the chapter before anything really happens (At least that's what it felt like) is like pushing your reader off a cliff, as opposed to completing the chapter and never adding a new one, which can be related to leading your reader TO the cliff, then leaving them there to wait for a bridge that will never be built.
Now to the actual content of the story (Paragraph, to be honest). There is only one spoken line that I could find, and it didn't even have quotation marks. Now I understand that this is your first fic, but seriously, there is only so far that that excuse can go. A story that gets longer reviews is a bit ridiculous. (244 word review for a 193 word story, including title, author, and chapter name)
The reason the review is so long is not only to fully and accurately reflect what I think, but also to prove that I can still write a 3-paragraph review of a one paragraph story. There's not much to review about, so I really had to scrape the bottom for this one.
| devandonet223 chapter 1 . 9/12/2007
Whoa now that's short!
| Aquatic-Idealist chapter 1 . 8/22/2007
Yeah, you'll need a lot more paragraphs and be much more descriptive. However, considering that this is your first fanfic, it's not too bad grammatically. So, rewrite this a bit, and we'll keep posted. Hopefully, this will turn out to be something good!
| Shadowani chapter 1 . 1/12/2007
Your going to need to be alot more descriptive than that if you want any good readers. though you just need too improve. So add lots of description dialogue and try for a minimum of 600 words do that and you should improve. but dont let my coments stop you from writing. Continue i egerly await for your next update.
| ENGetY chapter 1 . 1/12/2007
Too short. I know that i'm not much of a good writer myself but at least write more than 184 words. Though you have potential. Try harder next time. Good luck on your next fics!