|Reviews for Strained Harmony|
| Guest chapter 4 . 4/1/2015
It was okay at first but this chapter was too much. Seriously, is anything ever going to happen in this fic? You already established Ranma was a girl and a fat one at that. Continuing to spend thousands of words on irrelevant chatter just to make it clear Ranma is a girl and yes we understand he's a fat chick also. Beating it into the ground is a waste of our time reading and your time writing. This chapter was a great example of why people need editors. 75% of this could have been cut. Not only would it not have affected the story it would have dramatically improved it. The first two chapters were enjoyable but the third went downhill and this chapter was mind-numbingly boring.
| Guest chapter 3 . 4/1/2015
Damn, Ranma goes girl and turns into a fat chick!
| Tuka Luna Marceau chapter 5 . 3/22/2015
Er what about Ranma's case...?
| Patch Monkey chapter 1 . 3/10/2015
Josh & Trimatter:
So, this may be a fairly long review (and I'm leaving it on Chapter One, rather than on any other chapter). Let me start with the praise (before I go into the reasons why I gave up reading midway through Chapter Two).
The story is well-written, without any of the glaring faults that plague so many other fanfiction authors. This is typical of most of your work, which is generally pleasing to read, from the standpoint of readability and grammar. There is clear evidence of planning and thought throughout your writing, and it is clear to the reader that you put a great deal of time and effort into writing this.
Nevertheless, I cannot read any further than the portion I have thus far completed. Like many of your works, this is a Sailor Moon / Ranma crossover story, which I normally would enjoy. I once wrote this long ago, when the Fan Fiction Mailing List (FFML) still was important, that the key to writing an excellent fanfic was to ensure that the characters remain recognizable, regardless of the changes and direction that the author of fanfiction takes them.
The changes to the Ranma characters are unbelievable and make it difficult to continue reading. Ranma's personality and approach in the story is nearly gone by the end of this first chapter and only becomes more alien to the character over the next (I even skipped to Chapter Five to see if it was a fluke; it was not). Ranma-chan fanfiction is hard to write (believe me, I know), however, there has to be something that ties the character to the archetypal Ranma. This Ranma lacks this link, jolting the reader - but in what I feel is a negative way. And, to be clear, this isn't an issue with Ranma choosing to be a girl or (as in other stories) being locked into his female form; this is an issue with the characterization in this work of fanfiction, where Ranma is unrecognizable after the first chapter.
Similar issues arise with other characters as well. Nabiki is portrayed far harsher than she would have ever acted in the manga or anime; Akane seems to lack what makes her "Akane" in the canon, and so forth. They may only be side characters in this story, but Nabiki's cravenness and Akane's lack of (for better or for worse) "fire" is disappointing.
In sum, I think the two of you are excellent writers who, through mischaracterization and (possibly) seeking to drive a point home have made your own story unreadable. I do wish you the best of luck in the future, though!
| xBud chapter 3 . 2/21/2015
This didn't have any of Ranma in it. I mean real Ranma. Felt like an OC. And none of the reasons you like Ranma 1/2.
| xBud chapter 1 . 2/20/2015
If this is a ranma-chan story, this is one of the best transformations I've ever read!
| xThomas2 chapter 1 . 1/8/2015
Woooow that was way too long for one chapter. Break it up into smaller pieces. Ok..
Whys ranma be a girl nanny?I don't get it. Sure ranma needs to get out, but that was kinda irrelevant.
Writing is ok. Usually subpar writers abound, but yours is readable. Takes too long though. You should cut scenes out if they do not affect story or character development or suspense, unless you're going for drama/humor. And even with drama or humor It is only good maybe few times per chapter.
Basically. Cut most of the chit chat.
| LycanRed chapter 5 . 12/28/2014
Other than there being far too much detail put into Ranma's hair and wardrobe, and a comparatively small amount of plot development give the size of the chapter, I'm still enjoying this story, and looking forward to the next chapter. I do want to say that Ranma seems to have mentally regressed somewhat in this chapter though. Where before she had accepted her new place in the world, and was developing into a fine, well mannered young woman, in this chapter she seemed to have been far more subservient, and acted almost stereotypically girly. I had enjoyed the route she was taking, as it is more common for her to go one of two ways: Fight it tooth and nail until accepting herself and being a general tomboy, or(usually through brainwashing or something to that effect), she becomes a girl and is perfectly happy with it. The more serious, mature Ranma-chan, not just a girl, or a tomboy, but a young woman, was nice. Regardless, as I had previously stated, I look forward to the next chapter. Until then, Kudos.
| Kit Ninja chapter 4 . 11/22/2014
I'm wonder what you are trying to do with Ranma and what you have planned because the way that she is described does not make a lot of sense if she is still working out with martial arts. When you mentioned she kept getting bigger with a slightly more round face I kept picturing her growing into a Chung-Li type of character with red perm ears wearing a modest maid outfit. I mean Chung-Li even has a slight, modest slight outward curve to her stomach that is still toned and with as much energy Ranma used per day his food intake should be bigger. But I am unclear why you are making Ranma so fat and why it "suites her"? It doesn't make that much sense and even in the early chapters you mentioned that Ranma was continuing his martial arts practice so he should be burning as much as he is in-taking. Plus during that battle with the sailor scouts Ranma has always proved he would fight to protect people to the best of his ability but all he did during the fight was watch and catch one person. He would have set Hotaru down and sprinted towards sailor moon as he has the speed unless her complete weight gain has slowed him so much you haven't added that to the story yet. That he may be one of those stereo typical massive sumo wrestlers that use weight and muscle in their attacks but has absolutely no speed. It just doesn't fit Ranma's martial arts type, as his is mainly ariel fights, or his protective personality even if he was a little selfish. But I'm willing to wait and see what turn this story takes as I do like most of the story elements it just sometimes concentrates a bit too much on girly accessories and the like to my taste but maybe that's progression in the story as we have yet to even have a sailor meeting or even another battle.
| god of all chapter 5 . 11/16/2014
Great chapter and story so far please continue this story soon.
| Ferdiad chapter 3 . 11/12/2014
Seriously though what's with Ranma putting on 15kg. From her 50kg earlier to 75 is a huge fucking jump. At his stage in life there's no way to gain that much weight unless he's going though magical puberty again. Also how has ne not changed back into his boy form at least once/twice since the story started.
| Ferdiad chapter 2 . 11/12/2014
I already reviews chapter 5 with a one liner so ill stick this here.
What the fuck, i read all the way though chapter 1 and 2 expecting something completely different. At least war us that it's going to become all lesbo-girly-dressy-food fic of instead of Ranma beating the shit out of monsters. Your writing isn't bad though, apart from emasculating Ranma that is.
| Ferdiad chapter 5 . 11/12/2014
Half of every chapter is about food and dresses
| Ferdiad chapter 4 . 11/12/2014
Your ranma is a bit of a fucking pussy tbh.
| Ferdiad chapter 1 . 11/11/2014
Can I ask what's with your line-breaks? Quite jarring.