WHAT? That was sad angsty! NOOOOOO poor H/A :'(

wow...touchy buh sweet...reallie nyc

it's so sad! stupid artemis! i almost cried... almost.

I wanna be your sunshine! I really like the improved version- so much i printed it out so i can read ova and ova again!Keep going with it definitely have a good starting idea. Some grammar mess-ups but i can barely spell so I wouldn't be too worried. Hope to see a chapter 2!

(Reviewing new version in chapter 2— which is the old version— because FFN won't allow me to review Ch.1 again)

Wow!

When I first saw the corrected version and read it, I was amazed and pleased to see a fic from you (I remeber Lost In Memories very well and I can't forget the fact that you're crazy... maybe as much as I am)— a fic I thought was new. But as I scrolled down and saw you mentioning me in your notes, I was like "WTF? When did I even read this anyway?" (Though the song *sounded* familiar.)

It looks *nothing* like the first version. This one's a lot better! Talk about improvement of writing skills! Congratulations!

I certainly believe that this second version is awesome. I can only complain that now it doesn't look like there's a cliffhanger right there. You actually ended with an uncontroversial period. Shame, because I really like happy endings, but I also enjoy well-written angst/drama and this was marvelous!

Great job, Froggie! _

-mxnhpfreak (who is seriously considering changing her name to something that's easier to spell and pronounce)

PS. I think today I am in a formal-as-Artemis mode... d'you notice how businesslike I sounded throughout the review? O.o

*groans* oh artemis, you fool!

lol, great stoy. you didit justice.

love bundi

This one was good too, but I agree that I like the other one better. GREAT JOB!

~HollyluvsArty

AH! I loved it! But I hated it but i loved it! You know, for a genius, Arty really is a moron. HE SHOULD HAVE TOLD HER! Great story. Holtemis all the way.

~HollyluvsArty

Lol the 1st chapter was definitely better than the second, so you did a good job at improving. - It was slightly too dramatic for me (but this is just a personal preference so ignore it) but I thought there was a good mixture of romance and angst. The style of introspection you used worked well I think and the song parts added to the overall effect. Overall it's just right-not too draggy or too rushed. Please don't put your author's note before the fic ends though as this breaks the flow and effect of the story.

Oh and a tiny-weeny mistake:

"Tinkerbell had gotten he short end of the stick"- I think you meant "the short end".

The Orion Awards are a series of annual awards that aims to recognise outstanding AF fanfiction. We have had 2 successful rounds of awards so far and nominations for 2007 are now open. As an individual you can help us by nominating your favourite fics and by spreading the word about us. There are also various staff positions that you can help us with, for example the position of a judge and zine columnist. For more info check out the forum and mainsite or contact a staff member if you’re still in doubt. You might also want to check out our bimonthly fanzine, where there are excellent articles on writing, fandom news, fanart and more. For website addresses please see my profile.

I hope to see you there and do continue to write and improve on your fics. :)

Good, but depressing story. I think I like the rewritten version better, but not by that much. The part that made my mind up was in Holly's flashback. "To my credit, I covered my mouth with my hands as soon as I had said them. I shook my head as a denial of the words ever having passed my traitor lips."

Very good imagery and well written! I would've liked to see a happy ending, but it would've been cliche so I suppose it's just as well that it ended sadly.

that was on of the most touchin fics ever...

Omg! I thought you could have stretched out the part at the window...no, nvm. That would be weirdd, them staring at each other for five minutes...lol. But I would have explained or added more to the whole "couldn't help but do her wrong" part.

He loves her, she loves him...?

Sorry, you'll have to excuse my stupid cliched mind. My bf is too good to me...

-ckontowderdon32

You're writing is pretty okay but... how come he didn't tell her! Grr... That was like a cliffhanger, you know?

You should continue it :)

And btw, I read your profile and you seem to be absolutely crazy... but so am I! That's why I thought you were pretty cool!

I'm just entering this fandom because I've just started to read the books and I love them! I absolutely love the action and all that and I'm a huge AxH fan! YAY!

Anyway, good story!

- mxnhpfreak

PD. ((goes away, seriously considering the idea of writing an AF fic of her own))

-gapes- WHAT? He doesn't tell her? No! How could you? Oh well, it was really good anyway. -cries silently- He didn't tell her! He didn't tell her! -sobs-

cute one shot but they didn't end up together...sad...