Reviews for Children of the Blitz
The Schizophrenic MC chapter 1 . 6/28/2008
Um... In the words of Sean Paul, "Get busy..." Wow, "Blitz Valley" is a madhouse! 0_o Anyway, pretty good. I wish I was as good a writer. I've attempted to start many a fic, but about chapter 5 (That being the longest effort I had ever made, most others scratched 2 or 3...) of a Pokemon Fic, (I was 12, ok?) I gave up on the whole thing, as I have too much ADD to keep on something for more'n a few days. I'm also from Texas! What that had to do with anything, I don't know. (You give me a "Yeehaw!" and I'll kill you. -_-) I'm thinking of getting back into fanbase fiction again, so if you have any tips from your experience as a 'Fic writer, please tell me. I would greatly appreciate it. Also, I only know a few terms. (Most of them are shipping terms...) Any help is vastly appreciated. Oh, I just remembered, I looked at your render of the Iguanosaur, and it looked nothing like what I had imagined it to be. (Given, I forgot what an Iguanodon looked like...) Have you ever noticed in the series how Steve's Pteras model's head kept falling off? I, up till now (I'm getting another one in a few days. GO EBAY!), I've owned 3 Pteras', and all 3 were "gravitationally decapitated," so to speak. (Their heads fell off.)(The afforementioned fourth one's previous owner doesn't even have the head...) It seems to be the Pteras' fatal flaw. Jamie sucks as a pilot. He's never landed. Only crashed. Bad for the story, though. Good bye!

This message will self-terminate in 5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

The Schizophrenic MC has been here!
Dragon K chapter 1 . 1/26/2007
Hey DR. Finally got to read this. Thanks for all the tips and tidbits you reveiled in this ficlet. it is nice to know some of the things you plan on doing before hand. It is real nice too. Planning on more chapters for this? Ciao for now.

Dragon K
DX chapter 1 . 12/31/2006
...You broke my fandoms.

Now I will never get them back x_x
Your friendly neighborhood ass chapter 1 . 12/27/2006
I'm going to ignore your seeming obsession with pairing off characters willy-nilly and making them all, every last one of them, breed like bloody Catholics, because once I get started on that particular topic I'll be going all day and really, I should do some work while I'm, y'know, at work. Let's instead focus on the fact that this little exercise of yours was, to be frank, a bore to read. For the love of Christ, show, don't tell. What you've got written here is barely a step above the statistics you'd find listed on the back of a trading card; as such, it's indistinguishable from the plethora of other poorly-written fics featuring original characters which the author feels the need to introduce with a quick rundown of their vitals because he or she doesn't want to be bogged down later with piddling little things like characterization and telling a good story. At the very least, none of the cardboard cutouts blandly described here seem like they're shaping up to be author inserts - that role's already filled by obnoxious godboy Christian Masters, anyway.

Think of every *good* story you've ever read, and I mean in actual books that supposedly have editors and what-have-you, not things you've read on a fanfiction website where 99% of the material is uninspired drivel composed when the author was supposed to be paying attention in their ninth-grade history class. Does a *good* author just shove a description in your face right off the bat, or does he reveal the character's personality and mannerisms through their actions and interactions within the story? Show your characters doing things. *SHOW*. Don't just say "the twins had pulled a prank on Jim Bob again and he caused a ruckus" (and oh gosh, prankster twins, how original!) - describe the twins plotting it together, executing it, fleeing from the aftermath. Show us how Jim Bob reacts, just *how* "prim and proper" he is and how this affects the way he responds to things. Let us know how the other characters in the scene react to this situation - do they laugh, roll their eyes, ignore it completely, complain about the mess that's been made, scold someone or tell Jim Bob to lighten up? You've got a whole *crowd* of people in this scene who are doing absolutely NOTHING. One gets the impression of a bunch of mannequins staring emptily at each other in some random room somewhere. We're told at the end that they're "a happy bunch", but we're never SHOWN why they're fitting of that description. The characters could be sitting around watching "Schindler's List" or trying to revive a dying puppy for all the description that's given in the bulk of the story, but since Naomi says at the end that they're all happy, I guess we retroactively assume that they're doing fun things and not struggling to pry Baby #3475976's head from between Angel's savage, crushing jaws.

If you managed to make it all the way through my assholery, congratulations. Take it to heart. I'm in a good mood today.

Props for working RD in there, by the way, even though connecting Fuzors and Zero is a stretch.
Panaka chapter 1 . 12/26/2006
The big question here is:

What is Blade's new form and is he now an Ultimate-X?

nice ficlet, even if it has a verry small amount of spoilers.
C.A.M.E.O.1 and Only chapter 1 . 12/25/2006
Yes, it is. Kinda...In anime, anyway.
Lord Destroyer chapter 1 . 12/25/2006
So I guess little Miranda is now Miranda Karl Schubaltz Obscura-eh, that's going to be a mouthful. I wonder if there'll be any pairing between the children of the Blitz/BSG/Firefly crew.
cktedmon chapter 1 . 12/25/2006
not bad, not bad at all... how did Wash come back and who's Zaoin?
SulliMike23 chapter 1 . 12/25/2006
Wow, the Blitz Team and their new friends sure made quite a litter. Wonder what adventures you have in store for them.
Infinite Freedom chapter 1 . 12/25/2006
This looks okay. Does Vega keep the name Obscura or does he take the name Toros?