|Reviews for Honest Reflection|
| just a rambling romantic chapter 1 . 6/1/2008
Hmm, you're right. It did seem like it was missing something, so I'll tell you what I think it is. It feels rushed to me. It's a great concept, but I think you need to spend a little more time on the details instead of going all Ernest Hemmingway on us (don't worry, though! I, myself, am guilty of doing that too!) And even though Ernest is VERY good at what he does, (even if his writing has a lot to do with alcohol and nurses and soldiers.) his style doesn't really fit with this kind of subject matter.
Okay, so I suppose it could, but not with this particular story. ANYWAY, take a deep breath, relax, and take it slowly. It helps me to daydream a little before I write a scene. It's really complicated to write a fic, you know? You gotta think about the character and wonder, 'is this in character?' so I think you've done pretty well with that.
(I'm sorry for the rambling)
The part I would deffinantly change is when Mosuke burns his hand. It's a nice thought, but when you burn your hand you should put it under cold water. So you could have Amidamaru making Mosuke put his hand in the water he's supposed to be putting the sword in. And at first Mosuke could be all manly and like, it's just a little burn, and Amidamaru being all, 'omigawd r u okayy? Put that in water!11!one'
-gasps for breath- Okay, so my constructive criticism is over! And I just have to say, I loved the ending. My favorite part was probably the description of the kiss.
"It wasn’t a deep, tongue wiggling, soap opera kiss, but it wasn’t shy and innocent either"
| Sheo Darren chapter 1 . 1/27/2007
A sweet story displaying the tight bond between these two. Nothing more can be said, really.
| peanutbutter and bananas chapter 1 . 1/13/2007
OMG I LOVE IT! So CUTE! and well - written! you have talent and know your stuff! *pats head* Good job!
| ollahna chapter 1 . 12/29/2006
I love your AmiMo fics, Setsumi-sama! _ They're always so sweet. :D Very neat concept for this story. :D Once again, great job. :D