|Reviews for Hey Jealousy|
| Guest chapter 1 . 9/19
Hey! You did a great job writing such a long story, without unnecessary drama and plot twists! :) The text flows nice and there arent many, if any errors in grammar. No half finished sentences and all that. You write well and get your point across. I think you could be professional writer if you wanted.
! Some (hopefully) constructive criticism!
But there are a few things I personally think you could improve on. From what I remember at the beginning you sticked to one POV for a long time. Then it changed to multiple POVs. The story would have been more cohesive if it was one or the other for the whole fic.
Second thing is you really made Atemu the bad guy here, which is understandable. But the story could maybe have been even better and maybe more realistic with no bad guys, by acknowledging more of Yugi's flaws too. There was a lot of how everyone loves Yugi and hates Yami. There were some implied and between the lines flaws, but nothing explored, like Yami's were.
But anyways, a great story. :)
| Starshinesoldier chapter 8 . 7/12
I read this like, last week, but I can't remember if I reviewed! Very cute story!
| Erin chapter 8 . 6/11
To be honest, the titles made be worry about the ending of this fic, but I'm soooo relieved it turned out really good, as in REALLY good.
You handled the story a lot better than what I had expected (which is really cool). You can even say you earned a lot of my respect now. And from all the fics I read about these two, yours stood out for me. You clearly written gold amongst Another Universes (Au of ).
and I know, deep inside this shipping heart of mine, *sniff*sniff... Atem and Yugi are happy together.
| Guest chapter 8 . 1/4
That is cute. Before I read yugioh fan fiction, I had liked the whole love triangle between Yugi, Tea, and Yami then that love triangle involved Yugi and Yami also liking each other, and now I'm just leaning toward puzzle shipping because of good stories like these. I don't know how I should feel, but in a good way.
| Tori's Yami no Game chapter 3 . 1/1
I love it! We don't get to see a "angry" Yuugi often! It's original and I like that! Can't wait to see how Atemu will figure it out though! :D
| Myfanfix chapter 8 . 5/30/2015
This ending needs a 2-3 chapter sequel for the dinner!
| Akayuki Novak chapter 8 . 4/28/2015
*giggle* You broke my heart several times with this fic, but in the end you fixed it and handed it back with these two to boot, so I'm happy.
| Lost Legendaerie chapter 1 . 3/18/2015
ok, so i'll be honest. i wasn't expecting much when i found this fic; google took me to an abandoned tumblr listing some fanfic recs and this one was one of the few that really seemed to have potential. and honestly, i was p scared going into it. like, i don't know what it is about FF.N fics (I've moved entrely to AO3) but im always expecting them to suddenly end in rape or murder.
but this... didn't. this is probably, honestly, one of the best high-school AU fics I've ever read, period. the characters have obvious, understandable flaws; but what's even better than the fact that they discover their flaws and work on them, is that the narrative doesn't try to excuse them. you get why a character would do something, but it's also still very clear that the best intentions cannot absolve a character of guilt.
the plot was also masterfully handled; you could have turned it into some kind of cliche, teen-movie 'winning over the girl' kind of thing... but you didn't. you had anzu as an 'antagonist' but not a villain, you gave atemu these flashes of that dangerous competitive/possessive side he's got in the show, but you still respected the characters. they acted like real people, who were a little confused at times but trying to learn. the sheer fact that atemu didn't push yuugi into talking to him, and that yuugi rejected him a couple times, just blew my mind. like... that makes so much sense to do. it can take a while to really heal after a wound that deep, and both of them seemed to know that. and, holy shIT the last two chapters absolutely were better than i could have ever dreamed. hell, then what i myself my have written. you blew my mind with every new insight, every time cliches were explored and then shattered because fuck that shit.
im sorry this review is so long, but it just totally moved me more than i ever expected a goddamn eight year old yugioh fanfic could. this is amazing, and i will read it over and over again. thank you so much for this work, really. it is AMAZING.
| lloyd-forever chapter 8 . 3/4/2015
I loved this 3 It was worth ditching my homework for!
| my fanfix chapter 8 . 10/15/2014
Oh so full if passion. You must make another chapter, or an extension of this one into to something more!
| leneo chapter 8 . 7/31/2014
This was a brilliant story, i loved it! I loved the plot and characterization, it made me feel very close to the characters and like they could really live and breathe.
| Avatar.NIX chapter 8 . 1/29/2014
I've got little to say except that you've done a great job with this story and I've definitely enjoyed reading it. The character and relational developments were very well timed, I feel, and the ending is quite open because life continues to go on. All in all, very nicely done and many thanks for writing and posting this! :D
P.S. Them disclaimer jokes were a cute addition as well. x3
| Watanuki-sama chapter 8 . 12/3/2013
This is the cutest thing ive read in a while. I'm hoping that the "there is no coincidence only inevitability" thing was a holic reference. Because if it isn't then I didn't catch any.
| TheSecretMarauder chapter 8 . 10/6/2013
This is awesome! I really loved this! I loved te way you wrote all the characters especially Ryou. Awesome job!
| TexasDreamer01 chapter 8 . 9/22/2013
(References? There were references? o.O)