Reviews for Love Thy Brother
Dolium-Praedonum chapter 12 . 8/7/2012
This is constructive criticism:
I was incredibly disappointed with this story. The beginning had so much promise for a lighthearted, humorous read with a well though out conflict and resolution. Unfortunately, it degraded into a mess of unneeded drama and an improbable unfolding of improbable events. Having personally lived parts of this story, I had a very strong aversion to certain unrealistic plot points as well as some realistic ones. I must also say that Sora's father being abusive was neither necessary or wise to include in your story; it was completely out of character for Anayo, it painted Sora as a helpless Uke and victim, and caused inconsistencies in the two final chapters. This is not a story that belongs in the 'humor' section without a revision.
From reading this story, and others of yours, I think you have the talent and creativity for incredible writing. I believe a seasoned editor would have helped guide your craft into a more true to the summary read, helping with problems like stale words (words used over and over again), spelling mistakes, and out of character writing.
I encourage you continue your writing, on this site or on others. If this review offended or upset you, I apologize and hope you keep in mind that I am only a 19 year old student, not a literary critic, and this is a free for expression forum. Don't let my opinions hinder you in any way.
singingstars chapter 12 . 7/13/2009
Aww so cute~ I love the ending!
singingstars chapter 11 . 7/13/2009
Aha the last sentance was completely random from Riku
singingstars chapter 6 . 7/13/2009
Oh my gosh, thats so heartbreaking! Hopefully he doesnt really move in with his dad! And I noticed Riku is always the first to know before Sora
singingstars chapter 1 . 7/12/2009
Aha that was a short chapter but it was cute ]
Roxysaurus-Rex chapter 4 . 6/24/2009
gr... my mom is kikkin me off but I'll read the rest l8ter... -_-U
fentonfan chapter 12 . 9/17/2008
So Cute! Great story and cute pairing! :)
Almost chapter 1 . 8/12/2008
I'm sorry if I'm being rude and ask such a random question but is this fic really yours? I mean if it's YOU who has written it? Because I have read a different story but with the same plot and lines in the Naruto fandom ... it has the exactly same summery too :P Sorry if I just took your time ''
Dugleik chapter 1 . 6/3/2008
Hey, no blood shared, no ickyness. Just a technical difficulty.
55fallacies chapter 12 . 5/21/2008
Oh my.. *is still lingering in lala-land* What a cute story! I enjoyed reading it so much, thank you eternally for this! *o*
winterfaeriy chapter 12 . 12/22/2007
YAY! love it, it was kinda weird at some points but still... YAY! D
NeuroticSeduction chapter 2 . 12/10/2007
I noticed you didn't use Kayaki... Strange. I'm just so used to Kayaki and Karada...-shrug-

NeuroticSeduction chapter 1 . 12/10/2007
oo;; hey... you might wanna change 'coach' to 'couch', love. ;; ehh heeh heh

Removed Author chapter 12 . 10/22/2007
i wanna cry. lol thats perfect. i finished it and wow. im reading all ur stuff! i swear ima go start another RIGHT NOW cause this rox! thank u for writing it. im calling nobel my god some1 give u a freaking award. u go become a published author then send me a copy! love it love it love it! there was not one thing literary i had a problem with. it was inocent it was touching it was funny it was the kind of story that brings on those tears of joy! im addicted dont stop writing or ill cry!
fangluvzu chapter 12 . 9/8/2007
I loved this story, I thought it was nicely written. I enjoyed the interaction between Riku and Sora, and thought that it was natural sounding. (:

I did like that there was some moments where I had forgotten that Riku and Sora were actually characters, because it was so natural and human sounding xD -loser'd-

Loved it! :thumbsup:
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