|Reviews for For Every God, A Martyr|
| GhostBeethoven chapter 11 . 7/15/2008
This is possibly the best Heat Guy J fic that I have ever read. It's definitly the best Xover. Claire (I think thats how they spell it on the show) is the cutest. Though in the anime he is crazier than you have him, your Claire is pretty cool. Please update this soon.
| ta-DAA chapter 11 . 9/11/2007
no no no nno you can't stop there! NO! what about matt? MATT! This is my favorit deathnoteXHGJ fic even though it's the frist i've read but please tell theres going to be more? I mean come on you can't leave Matt sitting there crying can you?
| Arei Maren chapter 11 . 4/26/2007
Meh I read this ages ago and never reviewed . I'm sorry...
Man this has gotten good; extreme addiction overload good xD I finally read all of death note and I have to say this the best crossover of any series crossedover. I feel sorry for Matt there at the end ;_;
Is this where it ends, or are you continuing?
| lildolphin88 chapter 11 . 2/26/2007
Pretty interesting story...
Although I'm not sure that during the whole lime scene in this chapter that I would have portrayed Clair as such a blushing virgin type. (Even if he was a virgin, although I'm pretty sure the likelihood of that is pretty slim.)
Oh, those awful dates! Kinda actually reminds me of a humor fic I did where Clair gets talked into putting out a personals ad by Giovanni. He ended up with (hoo, boy this fic is so old, let's see if I can remember without looking...): a 14-year-old coffee addict who lied about her age, a total airhead, a guy who pretended to be a girl, an 80-year-old woman who's a sucker for (much) younger guys, a few golddiggers, a chick with a REALLY overprotective dad, someone who tried to get him to give up his lip ring, and many other undesirables.
| Spinereader chapter 12 . 2/25/2007
This was...I don't know the word. There's just such a complete change in feel and tone than the earlier chapters. To be honest I didn't like the first half. But I like the orphanage scene somewhat and I loved the last scene so much I almost feel it should be framed and put on the wall. It was so cute and fun! I can't help but find myself really happy for the couple. They've both have so much inner turmoil and it's nice to see them escape that now and then and just enjoy being young, silly and in love.
I guess I should give criticism as to why I didn't like the first half, shouldn't I? I hate doing this, I feel so rotten!
In the first scene I just felt rather uncomfortable for Matt. I know Mello's not the most private of people in some way, and he doesn't know about matt's feelings, but it still seems rather cruel to make Matt stand guard. Couldn't the guy just guard the apartment from the end of the hallway? That is if he's needed at all with all those cameras. I'm sure there's a reason for it and most likely I'll smack myself on the forehead and say "Well duh!" when I hear it.
The second scene wasn't my thing because sappy/angsty relationship monologues just never have been. Throw in the TMI about Mello being sore (mentioned far more times afterwards than you probably realised) and why, and I suddenly have to scan a bit to move past all that and get to plot.
| Spinereader chapter 11 . 2/14/2007
Writing in reverse again because it seems silly to talk about the minor stuff first with such a big ending.
And about that, it was very powerful. It was also very obvious, but not painfully so, what they were doing. So yes, the rating NEEDS to be raised. It's way out of the league of T/PG-13 now.
I loved the romantic scene and found in very well done. It was actually a hell of a lot sexier than a lot of PWP fics I've read. But I do have a question. Was there a longer resting period between acts than it seemed? Because it sounded like they paused about two seconds before starting up again. I know they're young, but still!
Aww, Matt, Matt Matt! My poor little baby! I found his reaction upon discovering the pair rather creepy, but then when we learn the reason behind it, it just becomes tragic. Did you decide from the beginning Matt had a crush or did that idea come along after you started?
Please tell me you'll make a triage, have Mello cheat or find someone for Matt, because if I see him hurting like this through the whole story *I'll* hurt through the whole story. I mean I felt bad enough for him when Misa called him a creep.
Now, for the rest of the story.
Misa is so...trying! I'm not sure why she is, but in both the first scene and the phone one I just felt like rubbing my eyes and sighing.
Hey, Harriet's back! I love her. Granted she'd drive me crazy if I met her, but somehow her quirks are cute when they're turned on other people. Looks like she was very useful too, which makes me happy. She gets to contribute to plot development!
Shutting up now! Though knowing me, I'll come up with more things later.
| Spinereader chapter 10 . 2/11/2007
Did Ryuk get into a bag of candy? He seems much giddier than usual. I can only imagine how annoying that much be for Light.
I love this line: "Clair had been trying to follow Mello's train of thought but was still a few cars behind." You can be very witty!
Giovanni's a great guy and I love him, but he is *remarkably* thick, isn't he? How could he possibly not pick up on Clair's interest in Mello, obvious as it is. Poor guy, I have a feeling he'll find out about it in some embarrassing way.
Ugh, imagine having to not only date Misa, but seduce her and date her again. Blech! I wonder if Light felt the same way when he had to do it.
I can't believe she bought the act Clair put on. He really was lousy at seducing her. I mean it all sounded so corny! She's really thick not to see through that. But we already knew that, considering how many years Light pretended and Misa bought into it. Or at least made herself buy into it.
Ha, Vampire bites necks! Why am I not surprised? And the shirt on the floor! Wow, I can only imagine how that scene looked. Surely someone noticed with amusement that they were stripping. Though considering where they were, who knows?
Good, Giovanni has another date! After the disaster of the last one I'm glad he had another chance. If Clair can find someone so should he.
| Spinereader chapter 9 . 2/7/2007
There's something very sad about that first scene. It must be horrible being a shinigami and knowing when people you care about will die.
Clair's date wasn't just weird, she was gross! I'd imagine her family would have to fix her up on dates to assure she didn't remain single forever.
"Stayed to dinner"? Did you mean "Stayed for dessert"? Because I thought she was eating dinner already.
The last scene gives me a sense of deja vu for reasons I can easily guess. I won't say it isn't disappointing to see things go exactly as they did in the manga but I'm sure there was a good reason for it and things will take a completely non-canon turn soon.
| Spinereader chapter 8 . 2/3/2007
I can't keep all those mob guys straight, so I'd forgotten Iwanami died. Did Lara's mom at least come to the funeral? Surely someone in this series has one. It's sad how rare they cam be in anime.
Why's Mello packing up Matt's clothes? Is he throwing the guy out of the house?
Matt really is the wiser one in that scene. I find Mello a bit frustrating with the way he's acting so immature and ignoring matt's advice on Clair.
When did Near meet Light? Was that mentioned in the story? Or did he not and heard all about Light from Kyoko?
I adore Harriet! She's like an A.D.D Luna Lovegood. I think she's just adorable and by far the most delightful female in this story so far. I wonder why she'd think he had dated girls though. Apparently I'm the only one who took one look at a picture of Clair (before seeing the series) and immediately believed he was completely gay, bisexual (preferring males) at very most. He just seems so feminine to me, both in looks and clothing style. But maybe that's just me or Harriet is too lost in her own world to consider that.
| Spinereader chapter 7 . 1/31/2007
Of course it had to be an apple pie. Poor shinigami.
Mello doesn't have as microwave? Wow, how could any single guy stand not having that? I'd lose it. But I love how he has every type of hot chocolate known to man. I can just see him getting a variety pack for Christmas.
I love the way he and Clair interact here. It's all so awkward! But I'm rather stunned Clair got so violent, and with no good reason either. He can be so mean.
Nice addition with the "You won't want me after this" bit. If Clair spent the whole last chapter being vulnerable, I think it's high time Mello has his moment of vulnerability.
Was the story about Lorenzo true? I don't mean true of him of course, but has such a thing really happened? I just got this feeling this story came from mob research. It's very plausible for the man. I mean if he killed people left and right he certainly wouldn't have the good reputation he does.
| Spinereader chapter 6 . 1/29/2007
That first scene was hilarious. Like the rest of this story it felt like I was reading a Paula Danzinger or Judy Bloom novel. Clair is obviously still a teenager, even if he's nearly twenty (which isn't a complaint. I've always found in young for his age). I remember being the age where I'd dress up to wow a guy. (Never worked in my case)
Light sure is crafty. I hope Kyoko wises up soon. If she'd only known how she unconsciously insulted Daisuke with that comparison. Of course Daisuke would find it hilarious if he knew the truth about Light.
Ah, Clair's date. Definitely still in teen book mode, especially with that soppy ending. While the date was kind of fun, the end wasn't really my cup of tea. I didn't mind sulking Clair and actually found it kind of sweet. But having Mello popping up like a knight in shining armour was a bit too predictable for me. In fact I was waiting for it to happen about a minute after Clair went outside because I knew it would. At least the last line suggests things aren't going from teen novel to Fabio covered romance novel. Thank God!
Oh, I tell you what I think about Gina, shouldn't I? Sadly I don't know enough about her to say much. But she's kind of Sue-ish at the moment, which is mostly likely because she's in flirt mode. I mean who isn't a Sue when they're turning on the charm? Flesh her out a little better and give her some flaws and she may grow on me.
I'll probably think of more to say later, but for now I need to get to sleep.
| Spinereader chapter 5 . 1/29/2007
I love the line, “Oh good, I'm useless. That's so much less responsibility.” It's a shame I'd feel less than cheerful if someone called me useless because I'd love to use that line sometime.
How long has Light had that note? I thought he just got it, but that "Killing the most" cutoff makes me think he had it since spring and accidentally used it on a certain important someone who died then. Surely I'm wrong on that and it's a different important person though, since Light apparently hasn't had it long, given that he seems to be just past the heart attack stage.
I love furiously brushing!Clair. I can just see Giovanni wondering why there's no toothpaste in the house and Clair playing oblivious. Okay, I know he wouldn't use that much up, but it's still an amusing thought. Thanks for making Clair's post-kiss angst not contain the usual denials like "I hate him, surely I don't actually want him" and that junk. Years back when I obsessively read Harry/Draco fics in the hope some wouldn't stink, I ran into the next day denial (with the added words "He's my enemy") and internal monologue in nearly every single story. Sadly most didn't end with one of them deciding he's going to play hard to get like Clair did.
I must be used to Near's personality, because I didn't find the way he talked to Kyoko all that bad this time, considering he can be far ruder. I hope she'll eventually become used to him as well.
Matt's so mean! What's he doing calling up someone that late? At least Mello seemed to wake up remarkably fast. Was he not fully asleep beforehand or something? Because I've never heard of anyone being able to use a fairly long sentence and figure out the situation a minute after they abruptly woke from a dead sleep.
Formerly married with two kids! This date just gets better and better. I can't believe she'd ever consider just dumping them off. Good way to make them hate you later.
I loved the Clair/Mello phone conversation. That just cracked me up! You must have had a riot writing that.
I hope your prompt writing streak continues for some time because I am just dying to see this meeting Clair's set up for the next day. Somehow I can already guess it won't go as he planned. I mean he is dealing with Mello after all. It's great watching the crafty try to out-craft each other.
| Spinereader chapter 4 . 1/27/2007
Wow! My God, that's Mello's a brave one, isn't he? I don't know how you'll be able to keep this down to a PG-13, given that it features a horny Mello. I'm just waiting until he and Clair start making out sometime and a shocked and flustered Giovanni happens upon them. I can only imagine how he'd react. And knowing Mello he wouldn't be the least bit embarrassed at being caught.
That last scene manages to eclipse the previous ones, but I'll try to bring my memory back to them to comment. For once I'll be reviewing these scenes in reverse.
Mello and Matt have the cutest friendship! I love the easy banter. There's this charming familiarity between them. They seem like the kind of friends who can have deep, tearful discussions one minute and go out and play basketball together the next, without a bit of awkwardness remaining.
Does Mello freeze his chocolate or buy an extremely hard type? Because if it's in his pocket I don't know how it could still be hard enough to snap that loudly.
Ah, you showed us the Light! (Yes you can shoot me, I SO deserve it) He's really turning on the charm, isn't he? I love his fixation with L. If I didn't know the characters and the situation I'd completely misinterpret Light's intense fascination with him.
I love how much respect Clair's shown Lara. It both surprises and impresses me.
Poor kid, having to volunteer to go on all these blind dates. I can only imagine what a beauty Wei's relative must be. *Shudders*
It cracks me up how casual everyone is with one another. It makes things a lot more fun. And raccoon! *Bursts out laughing again*
| Arei Maren chapter 3 . 1/25/2007
Omfg what an awsome fanfic! This is really original and beyond excellently nice cross-over with some of the Death Note cast! Unbeleiveable... you gotta keep going! :)
| Spinereader chapter 3 . 1/20/2007
This seemed short, and a little dry in spots, but it had some good parts.
As always, Ryuk was great. I love how honest he always is, laughingly pointing out Light's lies.
I was glad Near came around a little at the end of the scene with Kyoko. And I get the feeling he's going to continue saying and doing things to bring out Kyoko's motherly instincts.
Do people honestly pay off their leaders at funerals? If so that strikes me as remarkably tacky and badly timed. It especially shocked me with Lara's dad. What kind of a father thinks of such a thing when he's supposedly grieving of his child? Now I feel even more sorry for that girl.
Wow, not just a tux but one with red satin! I burst out laughing at that, and when Matt shot off his mouth and Mello smacked him. I'm sure it'll be a bumpy ride with him as a bodyguard. He's just nutty, wearing goggles at night to a funeral. It makes me wonder if that writer who gave Matt light sensitive eyes might not be on to something.