|Reviews for Hanging on By a Thread|
| unfulfilled-baby-elephant chapter 1 . 12/17/2014
This story sets my teeth on edge. I think you do a great job portraying the gravity and grotesqueness of the situation the boys are in!
The conversation at the opening of the chapter was a bit unbelievable, in my opinion. I think that having them discuss what the creature could be makes a lot of sense, but Dean’s level of ignorance/ annoyance that you portray is, I think, overdone. Considering Dean’s character, I understand that he would make a fuss, but I think it’s important to the character to remember how smart Dean is, how important hunts are to him, and how good of a hunter he is. Whether or not you meant to, Dean comes off as childish and idiotic in this scene. Just fyi, nothing harsh intended.
Reading Dean in so much pain after he gets caught in the trap is emotional, but I think it would be most effective for you to show the pain rather than tell your readers about it.
Use all five senses from Dean’s POV, and try to avoid using actual words like pain and agony. Paint a picture.
Speaking of POV, I feel that it’s a bit confused in this particular story. The story seems to be from Dean’s POV, but a few scenes later, it’s clearly from Sam’s. I think it’s okay to use both; you just need to separate them distinctly by scene and/or chapter.
[The sound of screaming...was his own] You need to either end the sentence or put a semicolon in here. ...filled Dean’s ears. Agonized, carnal... or ...filled Dean’s ears; agonized, carnal…
[It was now or never] I think that you could say the same thing with different wording; it just sounds cliche to word it this way.
[Darkness had enveloped them...the rest of the journey] I think a nice addition to the chapter, especially if you’re going to present it from both boys’ POV, would be to use this scene to explore what could be going on in Sam’s mind as he carries his unconscious, bleeding brother through the woods. Otherwise, this scene feels a bit rushed. This is, I admit, more of a personal thing. :)
| Black Dog chapter 1 . 10/25/2014
Ok I know this is old but I only discovered Supernatural a few months ago and up to season 4! I stumbled across this forum by accident and have been reading quite a few stories but this one made me want to comment for the first time.
When I saw there were 39 chapters I thought I would get bored part way and give up but all I can say is WOW! I loved it and couldn't stop reading, It actually felt like I was watching an episode. Well done and thank you for such an amazing piece. Now I had beter go and do the ironing that I've been ignoring while I read this...my children are down to swimming costumes and socks lol.
| ZeldaIsis chapter 39 . 2/11/2014
That story was absolutely amazing. I wasn't sure if I'd like it but I don't know why I doubted it. I loved everyone of your other stories. Cannot wait for more.
| becca65d chapter 39 . 9/20/2013
Very well written story.
| teddybear17 chapter 5 . 6/30/2013
Well...I feel like an idiot for my previous review...you obviously know what you're talking about (not that I didn't think you were, but I'm scared that what I wrote earlier made it sound that way...). This story is brilliant, and you've got me completely hooked. I must admit that I am a sucker for Dean being injured, and there are no where near enough stories where that happens (they're all about Sam :( ).
Just one quick thing-I thought it was really cool how you brought Missouri in to find them. Something I hadn't seen before. I've seen many writers struggle to write her character, but you've been doing a pretty good job, so...good job!
I've also learned that I should never review the first chapter of a story without reading further...So far this is very well thought out, and I can't wait to finish it!
PS: Maybe we just have a slightly different view of Dean, but I think he'll pull through. He's still got his right leg, so he can still drive the impala :P
| teddybear17 chapter 1 . 6/30/2013
Hey, just started reading this, great story so far!
Just one thing, as soon as Sam saw Dean was injured, his first thought should have been TOURNIQUET. With a wound as severe as the one you have described, Dean would have bled out long before Sam could have gotten him back to camp without one (maybe even with one...(I freely admit that I am not a doctor or trained in the medical profession, but I know enough about first aid and the human body to know that)). Applying pressure to the wound, no matter how grievous, would also have been a priority. Anything to stem the blood flow.
Moving the injured party would definitely not be advised, but that's not such a big deal for this story seeing as they were out in the middle of the woods and needed to get back to the supplies... Also, sitiching the skin closed would do little to no good. The best thing Sam could do would be to clean the wound, wrap it in a compression bandage, and splint the leg.
Also, cell phones? No service? What's the deal there?
Aside form those little unrealistic bits-that do not detract from the story enough to make me stop reading it-I'm loving the story, and can't wait to read more!
| Alaska chapter 1 . 6/10/2013
This fan fiction is great, and I know it's your own and you have your own right to make it the way you want, but there's just a few things that I want to point out in Chapter 1 that I don't think Sam would do (constructive criticism, I don't mean to be rude). Just three actually, otherwise it's great and fits the characters! 1. If Sam heard Dean scream, I don't think he would put that thing in his backpack and zip it up. I think he would literally just drop it and run to Dean. 2. Sam wouldn't laugh, even jokingly or trying to mask his fear, if he saw Dean like that. 3. Sam most likely wouldn't vomit because of Dean's leg. Again, it's your fan fiction and you can do what you like, and I'm not trying to be rude, but that's just what I thought! Thanks, it's a great story so far!
| The Lilac Elf of Lothlorien chapter 9 . 3/16/2011
I have to say I love how you've written this. And as someone who has written plenty of disability fics for Harry Potter, I can tell you it is hard sometimes to get the right balance of emotion.
But you've done a wonderful job with this.
| JenCarpeDiem chapter 39 . 11/12/2010
That was brilliant. Thank you.
| Creative Spark chapter 39 . 8/22/2010
This right here was AWESOME! I loved it. Keep writing. ;)
| PhoenixDragonDreamer chapter 39 . 2/23/2010
Gorgeous! I loved every second of every chapter of this honey! Wow! What a fantatic tale you weave!
Thank you for sharing this with us...
| snowcherries chapter 39 . 8/30/2009
This was such an excellent story. I stayed up half the night reading it, cause I just couldn't stop. You conveyed the complexities of both Dean and Sam's emotions so realistically. Your medical explanations never got tedious, so don't worry about that. I actually found the medical aspects of the story to be really fascinating. The journey the boys go on in this fic is heartwrenching in the most satisfying of ways.
| music4life6661 chapter 39 . 6/18/2009
I absolutely loved this story!
| drea78 chapter 17 . 6/14/2009
Oh, this is heartbreaking...
And it's so well written, the emoptions are so real, that I really have tears in my eyes and can feel everything of it!
This is a brilliant story, I Think I said it before, but I have to say it again!
You're a amazing writer!
Thanks so much for sharing this with us!
| drea78 chapter 10 . 6/12/2009
Hey there! I have to say something to this before the end, because It's so far away. It is difficult to say in this language, but I'll try anyway.
This story is absolutley brilliant!
It is even better than the last one I read from you and I can't help but take all my freetime to read on.
You bring the characters to real life and I can imagine all of it, as if I would be IN this story. It's amazing.
You wrote the psychology aspect of the story perfectly, it all fit so well - the trance, the angst, the anger...
I have the feeling, I'm reading a real BOOK here, not 'only' a fanfiction, and this is much better than many books I read over the years.
I don't know, if it means something to you,'cause you got already so many reviews for this story, but I had to say it!
I love this!
Thanks for writing and sharing - I'm addictet!