|Reviews for The Ties That Bind|
| MeyaRose chapter 3 . 5/14/2007
| AnaDry chapter 3 . 5/14/2007
Great chapter, can't wait for the next.
| Jen P Conn chapter 3 . 5/14/2007
| Krista Marie chapter 3 . 5/14/2007
| Nalati chapter 3 . 5/13/2007
I say again; this is the only story I've seen that portrays Anakin interacting with the Naberries (after the wedding) in a believable way, and I would love to keep reading about the awkward embarrassment of dealing with family, but I just can't keep reading this fic.
The erotica ruins it. Sure; they're married and they will have sex. Fine; I'm not denying that. But we don't need to see every last detail of it for the plot to work, and I can't believe either of them would be so careless as to do so if they can be caught (or excited by the possibility). It's just too far out of character.
Also, Anakin might be seethingly jealous of any suitors, but I can't see him outright lying about them. It just doesn't seem in character.
I urge you to re-write your story and cut out as much of the sex as possible. It's simply not necessary for the plot - even if you're planning for them to be caught at it later. I hope for your sake that no one reports you, because I'm sure this breaks the ratings FFN allows.
| Padme52 chapter 3 . 5/13/2007
Excellent update well worth the wait. So sensual full of angst and humor.
I an enjoying this story. You write erotica so well.
| Padme52 chapter 1 . 4/30/2007
It's time for an update!
| kateliz76 chapter 2 . 4/1/2007
Terrific! This is really on the right track for entertainment. Let's bring on some more fun and debauchery! I'm really loving the innocent sneaking around every corner.
| fAteD lOvE chapter 2 . 3/24/2007
OMGsh, a HUGE cliffhanger! lol, i loved your story, its so funi, update soon
| Klpeters92 chapter 2 . 3/18/2007
This could get interesting.
| HC0 chapter 2 . 3/17/2007
whatever you saty about later angst. this chapter was great! from Pooja's lightsaber comments (I'm a sucker for lightsaber jokes) to the cookies to the 'I'm gonna tell'...excellent! Please get the next chapter done soon!
| Julie Horwitz chapter 2 . 2/25/2007
This is probably one of the funniest Star Wars stories I've ever read! And yet it's just another one of your trademark masterpieces. I've been following this at your group, but I thought it was time to leave a review here.
Ryoo and Pooja are stealing the story and the last line of chapter two, "I'm gonna tell," is absolutely perfect. The scene with the floating cookies was classic. And as I've said before and I'll say again, your Anakin and Padmé are absolutely perfect. You know those two so well.
| bluebaby3296 chapter 2 . 2/17/2007
OMG OMG OMG...U MUST MUST MUST UPDATE LIKE NOW...THIS STORY IS AWESOME N I NEED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT...U R GONNA CONTINUE WIT IT RIGHT?
| Nalati chapter 2 . 2/14/2007
Firstly, I'd like to thank you for writing what is the only good fanfic I've seen with Anakin and the Naberrie family. Overall, I think it is very well written and you have kept Ruwee, Jobal and Sola very strongly in character. I'm sorry that this review is so long - I tend to ramble - but I have a number of comments for you, both positive and negative. For the record, I haven't read any of your other stories.
Most important of my negative comments concerns the erotica. Besides the fact that the admin will probably take your fic down if someone reports it, this level of detail isn't necessary for your plot; if you shorten it and use implication and euphemisms, you could easily keep the scene, and even that amusing transition from Jobal's last sentence. Same for the later scene in Padme's room; innuendo won't break your rating, but this will.
Also, the ripped clothes part struck me as going too far.
I do like your spin on "agressive negotiations"; very funny.
If the ship Anakin and Padme are on is bigger than her first starship, it's almost certainly large enough to require a crew. Her yacht, on the other hand, which they took to Tatooine, would make more sense.
Padme's words to her sister sound ridiculously formal; so, for that matter, she also does when talking to her parents; "mother" and "father". In canon, (the novel) she definitely said "Mom", and I imagine she'd use "Dad" or "Daddy." Similarly, Anakin seems rather stiff when talking to anyone but Padme (and even then, sometimes) and the children. Certainly, he wants them to like him, but I think this is a little over the top. Things like "no one informed me" instead of "no one told me".
Also, in canon, all the Naberries called him "Anakin" without being asked, and hero or not, I don't feel like Jobal's speech-like praise (while he's carrying the bags) is quite right. I'm afraid I can't be more specific; it's just a feeling.
Anakin seems a little out of character. For example, he replies to Sola's compliments "bashfully"; though he wants them to like him, I think he's just a bit too overconfidant - arrogant, if you want to use the word - to be 'bashful'. A shrug, or just a "thank you" (as if it's his due) would seem to me to be more fitting.
Also, I don't believe he and Padme would seriously get their hopes up about sleeping together in that house. You say it outight later, when they stop in her room, which makes their earlier hopes seem strange. Perhaps it would be more reasonable to imply that they wanted to use that adjoining door just to spend time together quietly?
When Padme says "it looks like there is less of you" to her father, are you implying that he's lost weight? He never seemed overweight to me.
You are excellent with writing Ryoo and Pooja; that lightsaber playtime bit had me laughing madly.
I'm a little confused by Ruwee's comment - two surprise guests? Is this just something you haven't revealed yet or is it meant to only be Palo?
The banter/bickering between Anakin and Padme is wonderful; funny and very much in character. I also can't help but adore the snoring-walls exchange. Sola is very good here.
Continuity error - Padme is described as wearing a backless dress, but then Anakin plays with a zip on the back of her dress.
There are a number of other little things that I haven't bothered to mention; spelling, punctuation, speech style and the ocassional undeleted beta reader comments, but overall there aren't many. I hope I haven't been too offensive and that these notes help you. Despite my criticism, I do enjoy your story; I wouldn't spend my time here otherwise. Thank you for writing it (and for getting to the end of this ridiculously long review, for which I apologise again).
| Jen P Conn chapter 2 . 2/12/2007
really good! keep going!