|Reviews for Echoes of Power, Part I: Anger|
| Jahlia chapter 28 . 3/31/2009
I am enjoying your story very much. There is obviously a very clear outline for this story and it is illustrated in the continuity found within the story despite the many different sub-plots. I find your characters to be well thought out and extremely believable despite the separation from canon. The excellent grammar and careful attention to detail is simply the icing on the cake.
As someone who also has a life I understand the length between updates and fully support your decision not to compromise the quality simply to satisfy people who have no idea of the thought and effort that is necessary to produce a work of this stature. This story is an excellent work of fiction. Thank you for deciding to share your imagination and talent with us.
| tag.0 chapter 28 . 3/27/2009
Geh. Had this all written out, then it decided to evaporate when I went to check something... Here's my effort to re-write it.
A very intriguing story, and definitely a dense one. I'm quite interested in seeing where it goes.
Your Harry obviously has some *serious* issues; I definitely have to agree with at least some of Cyril's points in this chapter about him. Isolating him like that was a *very* bad idea. It seems (to me) that he has no concept of social interaction, and no real concept of "friendship", not with peers of his own age, at least. And it's clear in this story that's it's causing him no end of problems, most of which he isn't recognizing because he refuses to take those blinkers off his eyes. Well done, that, though it's a bit uncomfortable reading it (not because it isn't written well, but because it rings so very true). And I have to say that his response to Ginny in the Medical Wing in the last (or second last) chapter positively infuriated me when he subsequently refused to recognize the fact he was being presented with the exact same problem by Voldemort.
As for his anger - there's a strong temptation to grab him, slam his head into a brick wall, and say: "You want to know what your problem is?" Point to wall he's just been slammed into. "This is your anger and your refusal to *think* about things just because you're uncomfortable with them. What you need is on the other side."
I have to say, congratulations on making him a concrete character. (No matter how frustrating he can be for the reader.)
I also find your version of Ginny quite well-written. I have to admit, I'm generally not terribly fond of her character (based mostly on the way Rowling wrote her, all hero-worship until she suddenly needed to be strong, and effectively barging in on the "Golden Trio" in books 2-4, until she showed some backbone in part of 5 and a lot of 6), but you've written her well and plausibly. (Again, a concrete character.) I'm also *quite* curious about exactly what happened to her with respect to the Malfoys - especially since (from what I remember of the earlier chapters) Harry et al. dealt with the diary before it could be planted on her. (Right?)
Not to mention I share a certain amount of the interest in your magic system. And I'm quite curious as to what Harry et al. are doing with their manipulations of the Wizengamot and with the Business.
| Thaliran chapter 9 . 3/22/2009
I simply love it. but my friend dosnt because i sit beside her laughing. keep it up i hope the rest is as interesting as the beggining
| Bobette13 chapter 28 . 3/17/2009
I'm not entirely sure why people do not like this story- it is well written, the characters are not flat, and the plot is not blatantly obvious, which lets you actually think about what may happen. the length is rather daunting, but i personally like the longer stories, as they tend to be more interesting and thought out (if the author plans on finishing them eventually, anyway).
i was just wondering if this is your first story of this length, and on what site any other of your stories are posted; most of the others you posted on this site are relatively short, and i'm sure i am not the only one on the lookout for longer, well-written stories.
| Innoxious chapter 26 . 3/16/2009
For the most part your story seams to be very well written... There are some things that i personally would change or modify but most of it just stems from my own preference rather then reasons that are very substantial. The H/G shipping (yes, yes, i can practically hear you sighing, but hear me out...) is not my favorite, mostly however that is simply due to seeing it (Ginny) portrayed in a very similar way in the H/G fics that i have read (with the majority focus on the red hair/temper aspect of her character). I would PREFER to see more unique relationships, but it is in no way a demand or even a deal breaker. Also, another thing that stood out in my mind was that Ginny is apparently in the same year as Harry but i also thought you said she was younger (in the chapters that first talked about the tutoring) and i dont really remember reading an explanation about how it came to be (unless you are going to lump that in with your "this is AU" defense :)
Anyway, i think that my favorite aspect would be the laws, how Harry is so knowledgeable about them and their loopholes, but more importantly, how he throws it in peoples (Umbridge) faces. Lastly, I don't really remember seeing any overt grammatical/spelling errors which was pretty impressive to me... Keep up the good work...
| old-crow chapter 20 . 3/16/2009
I'm conflicted about your story - In general, I love it, and enjoy the apprentice aspect very much. If your story is intended to run 3/plus years, then, I would flat out agree with some of the reviews that it is going at a snails pace.
However, I ended many of my stories in the christmas/early spring timeframe of the school year, so a better question is - are you still unfolding the story or are you at the early stages of wrapping it up?
The part 1 aspect makes me nervous, as there are so very many stories that have been abandonded, and most people don't have the time/dedication/ or simple inclination to write a 600K full-blowen story.
The real questions that I have plot wise - why has Harry degraded his story so very badly to waste so many hours at hogwarts, taking worthless classes? He clearly doesn't need DADA, and apparently is at 7th yeat/plus in charms. In your story, is DADA a required topic?
Finally I ask about the Weasleys - F&G are a riot and Harry enjoying their company makes sense. Why Ron? He's an idiot, Harry is on a completely different plane, and Ron is an idiot. Why would Harry bother giving him the time of day?
I have almost the same question regarding Ginny - wouldn't this Harry be more likely to "socialize" with Hermione or an older girl?
Finally Molly - What woman in her right mind would get in a pissing contest with a man who had killed multiple people and put dozens more in the hospital? Granted, the howler letters werw fun for a page or so, but her action doesn't make sense. Then again, no one claimed that Molly had both oars in the water, so to speak.
On to the next chapters. Thanks for the obvious work that you have put into this.
| White-Knights chapter 13 . 3/16/2009
Thanks for reposting Harry's schedule, but it does bring up a point - why in the world would Harry take DADA? Other than offord him the opportunity to interact with Umbridge, it makes no sense.
| White-Knights chapter 12 . 3/16/2009
I would suggest that you consider dropping the stated paring of the story. It would likely give you a wider readership as there are too many readers who won't even look at a Harry/Ginny story.
From what I've read as of chapter 12, there really isn't a pairing to speak of. Harry has flirted a bit with Ginny, and Hermione is obviously quite interested in Harry.
You could state that the story has Harry and Dumbledore as the main characters and from what I've read, be just as accurate.
| Kiristeen chapter 25 . 3/13/2009
I've been enjoying your story since I found it in the independent Harry community. I've found it well thought out and it flows well. (ducks head in shame - though I do find myself skimming the indepth bits on the theory of magic)
You posted a sort of challenge in your beginning author's notes to this chapter, and I felt the sudden urge rise to the bait. LOL
While I find I *definitely* like your Ginny far more than the canon Ginny, and the circumstancees of their meeting completely changes the dynamics of their relationship (whatever it may end up being). You challenged us to come up with canon reasons for dislikes, so, here are mine in regard to the Harry/Ginny pairing.
Harry's character is very set against people seeing him as the 'boy who lived' as opposed to 'just Harry', almost obsessively so, IMHO. No matter how genuine Ginny's feelings for Harry may become over the years, the fact that she developed her crush on him *before* she ever met him, would raise a red flag to Harry's near paranoia on the subject. : ) That's why I can't really see that pairing working well. Oh, I can see Harry being attracted to her; I just can't see him allowing himself to move beyond the initial perception.
Anyhoo, great story, and none of that applies to your Harry, really since they met so differently.
| BYoshi1993 chapter 28 . 3/5/2009
Very good story. I look forward to reading more.
| Clayva chapter 28 . 3/3/2009
You have a wonderful story here and while it is difficult to read in onw sitting it is well worth the several days that I have devoted to reading it. The story of a war mage is unique and unlike anything I have read in the past and for this reason it totally has captured me. The closest story I have read to it is "THE POWER OF THE PRESS" and compared to this work it is not even worth mentioning. I am totally engrossed in this work so please keep it comming. I simply cannot wait.
| dead feather chapter 28 . 2/27/2009
After the beginning, since I just read this all in one go, I started to wish the pace of major incidents was faster.
Good writing, discounting the a/n at the start :) I almost quit there because of the tone.
| endocranium chapter 12 . 2/24/2009
I just wanted to say that that prank on Snape and the occlumency rings are SO FUNNY. I haven't laughed this hard in AGES!
| TxA-GunFighter chapter 3 . 2/21/2009
| TxA-GunFighter chapter 2 . 2/21/2009