Well written and great idea a real page turner thankyou

Great fic. :)

Nicely done.

Fantastic revise.

the original was pretty good, but the writing in this fic is soo much better. :)

I do hope there will be slight variances or changes compared to the the first one though. Mix it up. _

There are some changes O.O a baby survived the crash AND I hope the plot has some more twists to keep it interesting.

Just finished reading this and the older versions, and I gotta say, you're doing a good job.

Your SI/OC comes off as very real, avoiding problems and hesitating in the face of danger the same way most real people do.

Great re-write. I really enjoyed the first, but this really hits the nail on the head. I really appreciate how you use your words and characterization. I hope you continue. I'm hoping to restart...I've had my own share of problems you see.

However, good job, and I can't really give any dual-sided criticism, I will when the time comes. Jaa.

very good, but I don't think Misato would be that sadistic.

she be a 'little' more understanding

Reading the original then this one, a few things change a bit. Keep it up and keep it interesting. lookin forward to the next installment

Thanks for the update! This is getting more and more interesting.

thanks for the update, update again soon!

Even Though i think the Original version is brilliant, this one continues to surpass it some how,

i watched the series on DVD a few days ago, and had a brief moment of confusion when i couldn't find Noriko.

my stupidity aside, please keep writing.

Unit O5

I last reviewed Ch.5 which felt like months ago and I think it was and I was left mighty confused by the “Dublin in the EVA universe family scene”, but re-reading it, I now get it. My only concern is you seem to have placed this Japanese family, working in Europe in your own home town which is never a good idea and merely shows people that you don’t know how to describe any place other than where you live. The fact that it was Dublin totally confused me, partly because of the first incarnation of this story which began in Dublin so I was trying to work out of the Dublin scene was supposed to be the 20-something male writer describing a real scene the Angel/Devil had shown him or was a scene in Noriko’s earlier life. Turns out it was the latter but it threw me big time.

Moving on to Ch.6 and I gotta say I much preferred the earlier chapters. The interaction of this poor confused guy finding himself in a girl’s body and also in an anime universe and struggling with the mind-bending reality of that and also her simple interactions with the EVA characters is MUCH more interesting than any recounting of canon events from the series. We all know them and they are quite frankly boring to have related over yet again, even if they are given a different slant and Noriko’s presence changes the story.

I’d very much like to see the Noriko character’s inner journey explored more (as well as her ‘outer’ one) as well as more interaction with the other characters in ‘off screen’ mode. Obviously Noriko is seeing most of and interacting mostly with Asuka (do I detect a slight fixation here too? ;) ) through the simple fact that they are both teenage girls but more interaction with Misato and particularly Shinji would be good to see.

Your take on Shinji is intriguing, I’d like to see how much of a little fighter in his personal life you make him.

Kaji creeps me out, he clearly sees something in Noriko that she herself doesn’t (perhaps from his work in the European branch of NERV which is where her father worked, so there is an obvious link there - Kaji I’m assuming has met Noriko’s father…).

I’m wondering if you plan any interaction with Rei other than visually worshipping her ;) I think we’ve got the idea that her body is perfect and blemish-free now ;) Us Rei-fans worked that out decades ago… An attempted conversation or two would be interesting. If I were Noriko I’d be so tempted to let slip a little inside information just to see how Rei reacted.

But criticism aside, thanks for the update and do please try to go that extra mile in catching all the grammatical mistakes which still take the shine off the story - assuming you have some, what are your proof-readers doing?

Great! Can't wait for more!

Hi Dartz

A much more cerebral take on your original work. Also, your dry humour is great for breaking up the horror and dread your character is feeling.

Going nuts from being on 4chan too much, HAH!

As always, an easy read, can feel as though I am actually there, and is believeable. Just the right mixture of canon and new story to balance as a whole.

There are, of course, the small mis-spellings and errors that we all make in our own stories. Nothing that detracts from the story as a whole, though.

All in all, another story for me to burn onto my hard drive.

If only I could write this well.

"To err is human; to forgive is not SAC policy."

Jintsu

Hello Dartz-IRL,

Great to see another fanfic in the first person perspective. From the first chapter, it's quite an enjoyable read. Clean, and slightly humerous.

The parts that I didn't like is how blatant the circumstances and coincidences seem to be. Of course this is an eva fanfic, and if you don't somehow get involved with NERV and all that it's pointless reading. But it is too convenient for Noriko to get an offer to being a pilot. Maybe there's something more behind this in your later chapter, but still. This contrived writing really turns me off.

This SI fic is actually quite interesting nonetheless, and if it wasn't for the contrived writing, I would definitely read on. I wish you good luck with this fic!

Sincerely,

RahXephon

Just read the entire thing through:

"What I'd left in that box, was going to be put away for good."

Coward. Seriously, just cowardice.

Here's a better question where is the soul of the girl whose body he's occupying? Did it go to his body?

Lovely story, please do continue.

It's pretty clear that her only ticket home is going to cost her the deaths of 2 billion people. So unless she's intereted in being an acomplish to genocide, she has a new fate she needs to carve out here.

Basically: this didn't start out as her life: but she's saddled with it now. So it's best she try to unlock the memories buried in her NOT hide from them.