|Reviews for New Perspective Evangelion
| Alex Warlorn chapter 5 . 10/4/2007
Just read the entire thing through:
"What I'd left in that box, was going to be put away for good."
Coward. Seriously, just cowardice.
Here's a better question where is the soul of the girl whose body he's occupying? Did it go to his body?
Lovely story, please do continue.
It's pretty clear that her only ticket home is going to cost her the deaths of 2 billion people. So unless she's intereted in being an acomplish to genocide, she has a new fate she needs to carve out here.
Basically: this didn't start out as her life: but she's saddled with it now. So it's best she try to unlock the memories buried in her NOT hide from them.
| Passe on an Angel chapter 5 . 8/24/2007
You know, I absolutely love this story. It's just... nice to see a different, excuse me, perspective on the events of EVA, but also have a character with a different story.
| Xed Alpha chapter 5 . 8/20/2007
An enjoyable read so far, I like the way you make us empathise with Noriko/S.I guy's original name, and am really liking it so far. Hope you continue it to fruition, i can see this fic being something very kickass, not that it isnt already of course...
| reviewer45 chapter 5 . 8/6/2007
The re-write is still an improvement over the original. The pace may be slower, but there is definitely more depth to the store.
| Himonky chapter 5 . 8/6/2007
Pretty good chapter. I think I'm right to say that it is transitional. You've been focusing on daily life for the most part, but the end leads me to believe that the next chapter just_might_go more into specific canon events...Not sure how I got that feeling, but it's there for sure.
The shopping scene was well done. Noriko's distrust of Kaji seems deep seated, almost like it's based on something other than just what she/you saw in the series. I can tell this is going to be pretty crucial at some point. Asuka's infatuation with him is as embarrassing and strange as always, but I think it was very good.
Reasonable does have a way of escalating pretty quickly. QUOTE: "whatever model Playstation happened to be available". For some reason it hadn't occured to me that they'd still be on PS3. That just seems weird to me for some reason.
The angel scene was interesting...I'm a bit surprised you went for angel interation on that level, but it does open up a lot of possibilities for future chapters. Tabris stepping in like that would give a lot of things away, if it wasn't for the fact that Noriko would already recognize him. I'm wondering if you might deviate things away from canon after reading this scene.
The agonizer test was another very interesting look into the training of Eva pilots. Sounds like something they might have to go through, and it also sounds like it'd be hell.
Her crying over the items was touching. She/you don't even remember him, for the most part, but I can understand how there might be a reaction to that. I have some idea of where you might be going with this part, though I'll wait and see.
With their being four pilots instead of just three, I wonder if one might actually be allowed to go on the school trip, perhaps even two. It'd have interesting consequences, as well as show Noriko that her understanding of what's going to happen is certainly not absolute.
Good update. I don't think I'll read the DS version though, it'd be confusing to read the scenes all in different orders. I look forward to the next chapter.
| DarklightZERO chapter 5 . 8/5/2007
Soo... let me get this straight. Touji tripped you, then Kensuke Aida walked up to you and took a photo of you when you got up. Quite a mean 'joke' well at least you don't have to go to school... yet.
It looks like you have added a reasion why Kahi always stares throught you. Anyways.
At least you ended the chapter on a light note. Good job.
Until next time, Farewell!
| Saddletank chapter 5 . 8/5/2007
First: Kaji. I like Kaji, after Rei and Misato he's my favourite Evangelion character. I think Kaji is honest - honest with himself, honest with Misato and despite his two-faced job, he's honest with his work. He deserves better at the end, I hate seeing a good man used like Kaji is. THe one thing I don't like about Kaji is Asuka's affection for him, it ism as any affection from a 14 year old girl is towards a grown man - wrong. It's tainted and makes me feel uncomfortable, dirty.
But then that's Asuka's fault, not Kaji's. But I found the reaction of Noriko towards Kaji here unusually interesting. Whether Kaji knows something about Noriko that she doesn't know about herself remains ti be seen but I sense a connection between them.
Shopping trip - check, been there with a girl, done that. Made me groan with fear brought on by the prospect of Tsunami-waves of bordeom too. Maybe it is in teh female genome, although shopping for lingerie I can do for hours too, as long as it's for the right girl.
Hm, your Kensuke is rather earthier than Anno's version, rather more sweaty and masturbatory (it's the only word I can think of to describe that nasty side teen boys have towards anything aged over 13 that wears a skirt). The camo was a nice touch - the comparison to teh boy we see in teh anime who plays soldiers with himself compared to this really rather unplanats person was quite a sharp shock.
You know, not all boys are perverts. Only the anime show ones.
I'm gonna skip the train scene and the family scene - why the Japanese man and the five year old Noriko were in the Eva-series post 2nd impact Dublin I can't yet fathom. Surely this should be teh real world - the wor;ld of teh young Dublin man who's narrating - so why teh post 2nd impact sea level rise? I really do think you've introduced either too much info here or (more likely) not enough. That scene is tantalising and promises so much but unfortunately it doesn't work. Call me slow if you like but I didn't get that at all. I just hope you're building up something subtle for us here of which much more will be revealed.
What I liked most about this chapter was the box of posessions and the impact on a persons mind that opening it had. I liked the Shinji who is just plain nosey to teh point if rudeness yet too shy to actaully ask anything constructive or be helpful when the person whose privacy he's eavesdropping on is clearly hurting.
Given that this chapter wasn't actually about Evangelion at all, but about a person who is trying to come to terms with the confusion, physical awkwardness and pain of the situation they find themselves (unwillingly) in, it was a masterful piece of writing. Still a few minor typos creeping in (you might want to recheck how to spell wordcount) but generally the gender-clash issues are dealt with well. I'm exploring the less obvious attractions of a boy in a girls body with my most recent fanfic and putting aside the 'fun with yourself in the shower' cliche that every otaku must fantasize about this chapter was really a tough journey and its that mind-bending adjustment a person has to make that makes this story - and this chapter particularly - so fascinating.
| E for Emma chapter 5 . 8/5/2007
HAHAHAH I love the Lost references! John Locke is the CEO of Oceanic? ;)
Poor Noriko, though, dealing with the life transplant...
| DarklightZERO chapter 4 . 8/4/2007
I wonder why people get put into girls bodys for Evangelion self insert storys, I have read three (including this one) already and only one story that the person says a man. Anyways!
Good story, I wonder if you are going to end up in a situation where Asuka is trying to force you into a girly outfit when you don't really want to.
I wonder if the rest the the Evangelion 'crew' are going to find out that you where once a man.
I better add that I have not read your first story, depending on your update speed I will consider to read it or not. But don't let that worry you, I don't care how long it takes to update as long as the chapter is good.
Well Until next time, Farewell!
(adds story to story alert list)
| jcmoorehead chapter 4 . 7/1/2007
Good chapter there, nice to see some progression and a bit more insight into the daily life of everyone. Interesting reaction to Misatos cooking, personally I can't stand curry anyway so I'd have ran a mile regardless of reputation.
Looking forward to seeing more though, keep up the good work.
| Himonky chapter 4 . 6/30/2007
That scene had me rofling like there was no tomorrow. Both when you wrote it and in this post. That's insanely good humor. The update is worth that alone.
The fight also shows a lot about Shinji, Asuka and Misato. Shinji isn't "a ball of angst huddling in the corner", as you put it. He can stand up for himself, like most teenagers do, and does so. How you change him into the the ball of angst we expect to see in later chapters should be interesting.
Asuka gets off on a somewhat cruel joke...or is it? The insults were hilarious, and in the end she got real annoyed by Misato picking sides. Maybe Noriko could mention something about how Shinji actually needs Misato's help, because Asuka is strong enough to not need it. The part about how to get her to shut up was hilarious.
Why is she afraid of Kaji? Should be interesting to find out.
Great setup for the next chapter. Tokyo-2 will most certainly be interesting, to find out how different it is from Tokyo-3 and to see what you have in store for the shopping.
Overall: Good chapter. I think the smaller size (poor Shinji) made it a little bit easier to read. You might go for this in future chapters. Highly recommended, as usual.
EvS-wait...don't need that. :p
| Generator X chapter 3 . 5/14/2007
I love you're story “New Perspective Evangelion” V1/V2
When are you going to post part 4?
and I think it mite be cool if you made a side story to New Perspective told in the third person.
You know, what are the other Characters doing? thinking? When all this is going on?
| Saddletank chapter 3 . 4/24/2007
This is a big improvement over your earlier story, your style and skill has got noticeably better, it’s just an all round more polished creation. In your earlier work your character accepted being a 14 year old girl far too easily, The shock of changing from a 20 YO male to a 14 YO female would likely be enough to send many people mad. But given that that would be a pretty dull fanfic there are usually three routes you can take with that:
1) The pervy route where the 20 YO male is amazed and delighted with having a 14 YO female body to play with. Loads of fiction has been written like this (Robert Heinlein himself was guilty of it) and reading yet another of those would be boring.
2) What I call the misogynist approach where the male just can’t handle a female body and rejects it, and thereafter struggles mentally with the concept over a long time. Given that this is a fanfic and not a psychology paper about the identity of the self you’re wise to avoid that. Although it would make an interesting piece of fiction, ff dot net isn’t the place for it.
3) The middle ground, which is what you have taken. Bits of eager fascination, bits of confusion, bits of struggling with a former identity. That works well. I would rather see more of this, more struggles and confusion and minor embarrassing moments (like the toilets) just because it’s fun and it reminds the reader of the difficult situation Noriko is in.
Please don’t let your character get comfortable with being in a girls body too soon. Milk the joke for all it’s worth, it’ll make her more believable as a character as well.
Be careful with the language. In my fics where people went to foreign countries I used several tricks: 1) a lot of foreign language was used (in small chunks) and I simply let the reader translate it himself. I didn’t hold his hand at all, I let him get on with it, and assumed he was intelligent enough to do so. I take the stance that I think my work is worth reading (otherwise I wouldn’t be doing it) and that being so, if my readers also think so then they’ll have the patience to fire up a web based translation site and translate the foreign stuff. If they can’t be arsed to do that then they’re not the sort of readers I need anyway. 2) I helped my characters by having a second character assist in the translation. 3) I had one of my main characters teach themselves the language as they went along. 4) The foreigners spoke some English which the Japanese couple knew enough of to get by. English is a universal language and most Japanese today know some. By 2015 I would think it is spoken by almost all average Japanese to the extent where a simple conversation is possible. I can’t imagine a senior officer like Misato not knowing English given the international status and global importance of NERV. Ayanami could easily speak English if NERV wanted her to: Ritsuko could have simply ‘plugged it in’ as a sort of software upgrade when Rei 2 was created. If Rei 3 were not to have that upgrade that would introduce a nice plot tension.
But whatever you do with the language problem – stay faithful to it, don’t have everyone slip into English text too soon. Remind the reader that the language barrier is there by dropping hints from time to time – even much later on in chapter 20 or so, it should still catch Noriko out now and again.
Finally I think your previous beginning in the rainy train station with Ayanami was a better opening. The reader knew why things were happening and it gave Noriko a reason for not knowing any Japanese *and* being able to speak English. In this story I don’t understand why a Japanese girl comes out of a coma speaking only English – can you explain that please? In this version of the story, the reader is floundering a little through lack of knowledge. I think I trust you to have a plot reason for that, its just that at the moment I can’t see one.
Lastly I would like to see you drop a hint or two that the people Noriko is interacting with are real living human Japanese people. They aren’t anime or manga characters. Some comment on the lack of huge eyes would be funny and you could get some humorous scenes out of this. I imagine a 14 year old Asuka and Rei are not so large breasted as Anno drew them for example but are more normal sized for 14 year old girls. Personally I think Misato’s hair is black and the purple we see in the anime is an artistic way to depict shiny black hair. In Ghibli’s “Kiki’s Delivery Service” the girl wears an obviously purple-coloured dress but we know that in fact it’s black because her mother says so. You can drop in a few interesting twists like this and still stay within canon (ugh, I hate that word).
But so far, excellent, just remember at all times: *girl*, *language barrier* and keep the people from the series *in character* (which I trust you to anyway).
| Passe on an Angel chapter 3 . 4/12/2007
Hey! You updated! Still a fan, still love it.
| Himonky chapter 3 . 4/1/2007
Enjoyed this chapter quite a bit. You kept it light in certain aspects, but full of tension in others.
The ending scene was a very nice touch. Your climax, perhaps? I found it funny in the way a guy would look at speaking about aspects of that conversation, but still serious enough from Asuka's perspective. Enjoyed that a lot.
Tension was really thick during the activation test. I don't know if it was your writing or the first person, but you pulled that off very well. Keep it coming.
Thanks for the kudos, although I don't know how much I really managed to help. Keep the chapters coming, the pace is fine.