Reviews for Mr Pryce and Ms Morgan
Delusional Illusionist chapter 1 . 5/30/2008
*nods* It has potential. And I must say, I'm impressed . . . there aren't enough Lilah/Wes stories out there . . . it makes me happy to find one . . . you've got a good idea for the plot too. It kept my interest up. Congratulations on a job well done . . .
AnnaChase chapter 1 . 1/5/2007
Hey! I just read the first chapter of what I hope will be a very long story, and I must say I'm impressed! I miss Lilah and Wes stories like this, so I'm glad you decided to author one. The plot idea is very interesting and outstanding, I just "had" to read this. Congratulations on your originality.

The writing is also very good, I especially love the dialogue!

I also got some tips for you, to help you improve it to make it even better! You might want to add some more detail-description to avoid too much dialogue in one time, and try to turn many short sentences into just a few by adding them with commas,and words like "and". For example this sentence: "He reached Lilah’s private room. It was empty. He placed the bouquet down on a table. He casually wandered back into reception. He asked a nurse where Lilah was. Where was the baby? In a communal nursery he hoped?". It would look better if the first part was more like one or two sentences. Just a tip.

Also, sometimes I find Wesley just slightly overreacting. Perhaps you could put down some more explanation on what's going on in his head; like why he got so angry. I'm not saying it's out of character, but it will look more convincing if you put more explanation instead of just stating.

In conclusion, I hope my tips made sense and I hope they were useful to you. Please continue writing, I can't wait to read more of this wonderful story that has so much potential!

AnnaChase
Kitty fantastico34 chapter 1 . 1/4/2007
This was great I really hope you continue this, I'm anxious to see what haapens next with Wes,Lilah and their son :-)
Imzadi chapter 1 . 1/4/2007
Actually I'm rather sorry for both of them, but it wouldn't surprise me if things were exactly this way between them. I think you've done a good job on both of them. I wonder whose baby Eve was carrying (and was Lindsey her fiance?). I hope this is more than a one-shot.