|Reviews for Games of Obsession|
| Viviane Renard chapter 3 . 4/13/2008
This chapter not only provided some nice background details, but also started moving the present plot forward. You mixed the past and present nicely, balancing them out. I have one grammatical correction for you. Since I'm better at examples than explanations, I'll write what you wrote, then a correction, and only then attempt to explain. Here goes nothing (which is a funny saying in itself). :)
“My father thinks I am spending the break at school, does he not?” She asked placidly.
“My father thinks I am spending the break at school, does he not?” she asked placidly. (you have the grammar rule of speech down perfectly when it deals with commas and periods. The only difference with an exclamation or question mark is that, instead of switching it out for a comma, you keep the orginal sign. However, you treat the rest the same, which means starting off the following sentence with a lowercase letter if it's a 'comma case.')
“I am not!” She shrieked, almost hysterical.
“I am not!” she shrieked, almost hysterical. (just the same as the other example, but with an exclamation mark)
It's a very, very minute mistake. In all honesty, most people fudge the whole process, so if your grammar wasn't already near perfect I wouldn't try to be correcting the very small details. I can't wait to see what happens next. A meeting between Erik and Tesla sounds promising.
| Viviane Renard chapter 2 . 3/20/2008
This is an interesting story. I love Charlotte's tease towards Erik about someone hanging a man during a show-I like how you draw connections between the two stories in small ways like that. It helps tie those two story worlds together. The only issue I'm having with this story is that it lacks direction-I have finished reading chapter two and am still utterly confused about where this story is heading. None of the charaters are given strong motives (except Erik with his potential daughter); I have no clue why Erik and Charlotte need Angier to have a pristine record, etc. I understand wanting to have an obscure plot that keeps the reader guessing, but there is a difference between ambiguous and unknowable. Overall, though, the story's good.
| NorthNova chapter 2 . 10/21/2007
What a great combination! The Prestige and Phantom of the Opera! Keep up the good work. Can't wait for more!
| harminous-fallen-angel chapter 2 . 3/10/2007
I love the plot you have going.
| harminous-fallen-angel chapter 1 . 3/10/2007
I had to wait to read this until I saw "Prestige".
It sounds interesting, can't wait to read more.