|Reviews for Golden Sands|
| cuinwen chapter 39 . 1/8
This is a rousing good story. The use of imagery, myth and magic are very well done. Also, for a fairy-tale your character development is excellent (traditional fairy-tales are all full of Mary Sues, and so you cannot depart too far from that and keep the flavor of the genre; I think you pushed just far enough into defining your characters).
If I would suggest any improvement, it would be around POV. The early chapters lead one to believe the story will be heroine POV and so it is a bit of a shock to find out later this is not so. Once the plot is rolling, shifting POV is not an issue. I realize this story has been complete since 2008, but if you wanted to improve it, perhaps introducing shifting POV into the early chapters would be a good course to take.
| Hannah chapter 39 . 6/26/2012
I still feel like his mother… and I'm very proud of my boy.
| Hannah chapter 36 . 6/26/2012
I'm crying. I really am. And I still feel like Shahzad's mother.
| Hannah chapter 28 . 6/26/2012
Oh suuuuure. Mak the poor girl's life even HARDER, why don'tcha?
| Hannah chapter 18 . 6/26/2012
I keep on feeling like Shahzad's mother. I keep on crying lightly and shaking my head and thinking things like "my poor boy" and such.
| Hannah chapter 17 . 6/26/2012
I love how this story is sweet but not so much that my throat is coated in syrup. And for the "not contradicting yourself" in the A/N, you could always say that Fate is a melodramatic romantic and that's why fate bound people often fall in love.
| Hannah chapter 16 . 6/26/2012
(smile) That was sweet. Really depressing, but sweet.
| Hannah chapter 15 . 6/26/2012
Oh, I'm not going to murder you. As long as you give me a time machine and Khalid's address. Then my knives and pencils and rope will be going to more… satisfactory means, you could say.
| Hannah chapter 14 . 6/26/2012
Eh, it's fine. Too much fluff this early in wouldn't seem quite right. I liked this chapter though. Funny and sweet with a nice dash of character development. And I feel like a food critic. :P
| Hannah chapter 13 . 6/26/2012
I'm getting so attached to these characters already and Shahzad's downward plunge and breaking of his promise to Faiza is breaking my heart along with Xavia's rather blunt (they seem to have that in common) rejection of Tahir.
| Hannah chapter 12 . 6/26/2012
When Tahir said so bluntly that she'd probably end up falling for him, I just laughed hysterically. Well, I would've. Except for the fact that my dad thinks I'm asleep and is asleep himself. :P
| Hannah chapter 7 . 6/26/2012
That was so sad and sweet with Faiza and Shahzad! Although… I'm pretty sure she's going to die. And I wonder if he'll keep his promise to her. I am intrigued.
| Erin Chalupa chapter 39 . 7/27/2010
Okay, so I'm finally reviewing. I actually finished Golden Sands last Thursday! I wanted to call you up on the phone I was so excited! I don't even know where to start, I love this story so much.
First, I hope you try to publish this story because it's good enough. I can't tell you how many people I bragged to the entire time I was reading it! I'm sure my husband is sick of me talking about it after almost every chapter. :-) I even read it in a couple doctor's waiting rooms I was so hooked!
I am so impressed with the ending. You were able to tie everything up flawlessly. Yeah! I'm so glad Shahzad got his act together! Sometimes such happy endings can turn cheesy, but yours wasn't at all. I was so glad that Shahzad found inner peace and wasn't jealous of Tahir and Xavia anymore. That way I didn't have to feel sorry for him.
I love when Tahir gets saved. I figured he had to, but for awhile, I was getting nervous about a tragic love story ending. :-)
My favorite children's series is H.P. What I like about J.K. Rowling's novels is how she creates a whole world and truly thinks of EVERYTHING. You're left thinking, "Wow, that was so clever!" That is how I felt about Golden Sands. There were tons of times I was amazed at your ability to think of EVERYTHING as well! Truly gifted.
I've never been so proud of a former student as I am of you. You WILL be an author...there's no doubt in my mind. No doubt at all.
| Erin Chalupa chapter 36 . 7/22/2010
You actually think you're not good at action scenes? I've never had a student write one so skillfully. As a 5th grade teacher, I so often see endings that are rushed. All of a sudden, the world catches on fire and everyone dies-the end, or aliens come down and kill everyone-the end.
I was so eager to see how you did writing your climax and it is perfect. I think you had just the right amount of detail in it. The action scene was superb because it was the exact length it should be and had the right amount of "intense" (my favorite word for this story) action.
As usual, I am stunned to see what an amazing writer you've become!
Okay I need to finish the rest of this story, like NOW so I'm going to stop reviewing for the moment!
| Erin Chalupa chapter 35 . 7/22/2010
Obviously, disregard my review from several chapters ago about taking out the desert people! :-) I should have known you'd have it all planned out! LOL