|Reviews for As I Fall|
| NekomataFangirl chapter 1 . 10/28/2014
My glance fell on the 'warning' and I thought 'damn this has got to be good!'. This is so incredibly well written. The insight into the characters is immensely realistic, it really pulls a string in my heart. Everything you write about seems you either brilliantly researched, or know the feelings from your own experience... So far I've read just the first chapter, but I can tell this will be one hell of a story
| Orochi-Dragon14 chapter 43 . 10/13/2014
I told my friends you'd be updating in October-and look! You did. I apologize for the late update though. Thanks for the dedication! To the reviewie!
Ahhh Yami's back! I have missed his POV. I see he took a lot of the spotlight up! Spotlight hog! Well, it DOES make sense that Yami would be afraid of water-having nearly drowned twice! Ironic how he goes to the aquarium to calm himself. It's funny we're always intrigued by what we're afraid of. I'm scared of spiders, but I find them fascinating (especially their beautiful webs).
I love how it's Otogi who really gets through to Yami. Though, Yami didn't feel like he had a choice at what he had to do in the past, he ultimately did. I also like how the fact that Otogi told Jou about his and Kaiba's plans because he didn't want to be responsible if something happens to Bakura. It's obvious as day that Yami still loves Bakura. I mean he's not IN love with him, but he still cares for him. He's finally feeling guilty about what he did, and it's because Otogi opened his eyes. I really do like the bond they're forming. They know nothing about each other and yet everything. It's amazing.
I'm not surprised that Aknadin knows about Bakura. I hate him. Of course, Seth wasn't charged with anything, but still! Now Isis has seen Diabound and everyone's fearing for their lives because Bakura has killed Seth. Atem's hands are tied, and Bakura thinks that he doesn't want to listen to him because he's a god and what he says goes. Bakura bows down to no one and never will. I can only imagine how Atem's and Bakura's talk will be about Isis' visions. Atem, of course, doesn't realize that Diabound is Bakura's. I can imagine that it'll be one hell of a fight since Atem doesn't want to accept that Bakura is powerful. I think he wants to protect him and keep him hidden and Bakura hates that. He hates being babied...who can blame him?
I really do love this story! You definitely deserve more reviews! It's so amazing! I get all excited when you update! Ohhh have you read the manga yet? I have! I have all the books! Even R (and it took me SO long to get all of them! Ugh!) I read them all and I died about 180%!
I can't wait for this epic showdown in the past...and this drama in the present! The suspense fuels my feels! Haha. :D.
| MyDreamsToYou chapter 43 . 10/12/2014
Is it bad that I am secretly (read as: rooting very loudly) for either a Kaiba/Otogi or Yami/Otogi pairing to happen? Ugh and I just want Ryou to be happy too with someone...maybe get a glance of Bakura being protective but that's all just wishful thinking! Well written chapter as always and I really enjoyed that it was between Yami and Otogi, you never really get to see those two characters interacting deeply these days so it was very refreshing. Hope to see more from you soon!
| SHADOWoftheFOX chapter 43 . 10/12/2014
Water is pretty darn scary! It's so wet and stuff...
Anyway, past-Yami is handling the situation surprisingly well given what is happening/predicted to happen. The past-Yami/Bakura relationship is so interesting because they have nothing in common, clash on most issues, and don't think the other respects them, and yet it still works (well, at least for a while). Of course, Bakura/Jou is an even stranger combination of personalities.
I like how Otogi is calling Yami out on all his crap, because someone really needed to. Also, Yami actually admitted to having positive feelings towards Bakura! What progress he is making!
I assume the next chapter will be starting with a huge freakout over Bakura. I look forward to that drama! I hope Mai turns back up too! I don't know how she would work into the plot, but I love the way you write her.
| SHADOWoftheFOX chapter 42 . 7/20/2014
I will admit that this chapter frustrated me a bit-Jou, Bakura, what are you two doing!? *Shakes head*
You made Shizuka pretty interesting. I never really thought about how weird it is that she sent a video to her brother instead of just calling him-that's really bizarre. Although, your explanation really worked. She is really nothing but a plot device in the show, so I really like that you explore her character. I wonder where shes off to now. Perhaps she'll go back to Mai.
I think my favorite part of this chapter was the section with Yugi, Ryou, and Anzu, just because its amusing that they have (had) no idea what was really going on. I'm looking forward to Ryou freaking out in a future chapter!
Also, Bakura getting punched in the face was funny. Oh, how the mighty have fallen!
Will the next chapter be present or past or both? Whatever it is, I'm looking forward to it!
ps. A week without internet sounds terrible!
| Orochi-Dragon14 chapter 42 . 7/12/2014
Yay! You updated in July! And not too long after my 23rd birthday either! (which is on the 3rd) yay! Thanks so much for this awesome bday gift! *squeeee!
Alright to the review!
You did AMAZING with Shizuka's POV with Bakura! Her thoughts of him and his relationship with Jou are spot on! I agree, she is a pretty dull character, so when I write her or read her, I always want her to be more interesting...still be her, but with some spice! She's a strong girl, but she has a lot of guilt about what happened to her brother and even though she was a child at the time, she could have still called him when she got older. To this day I never understood why their mom would leave Jou with their dad...guess she thought he was going to turn out like him? That's all I can think of.
Bakura was AMAZING this chapter! I always enjoy reading his POV. His thoughts on Shizuka and how she was a worthless sister was truly Baku all the way. He would never harm her, but at the same time he knows where it'll hurt her the most. I love when Shizuka was taking into account what Mai had said and wanting to listen to Bakura's side of the story and even though he didn't give it, she still got some answers. Haha that part where Serenity knocked Bakura in the nose was priceless! You just don't expect that, but it totally worked.
Anzu's POV was great too. She's always so good about figuring things out. She knows something's up with Ryou and she knows it has something to do with Bakura, but Ryou doesn't realize what she's talking about...until his memory starts coming back. So, I'm very excited to see his reaction to it. And, I hope they find Yami soon. I really loved how Yugi and Anzu got in an argument over Bakura and Yami and how Yami should have talked to Bakura, but Anzu did have a point where Bakura shouldn't have just attacked, but at the same time she doesn't know what went on between them...so it's not really her place to say (nor Yugi's) why they did the things they did.
Oh man! We finally get to see Jou's POV! And wow! He took the Key! Oh gods! What an epic plot twist! It makes sense he'd want to get rid of his dad to protect Bakura. He's tired of his trouble and he'll do anything to protect his lover. Sadly, though, he couldn't do it and he was in a sobbing fit calling out Bakura. I can definitely relate to Jou to a degree on this...so I really enjoyed his POV and his thoughts about his father.
Bakura telling Shizuka that he almost raped her brother was so amazing! He KNEW that would get to her and he took that opportunity to leave. She's very upset about it and now thinks that Mai was right. What Bakura so conviently forgot to mention was the fact that his and Jou's relationship didn't start until AFTER that rape incident...ironic how that is...I can't wait to see what Shizuka does after she snaps out of the shock.
Ending the chapter with Bakura was truly amazing! I loved how he went back to his old house, and poor dear has such trouble getting around! It makes sense he'd go down to his basement and reflect on his relationship with Jou. He truly loves him and he knows this that's why he's leaving. He wants him to be happy and thinks he is causing so much trouble for him. And while he has to be taken care of and is very demanding, Jou loves him and he wants to be with him. He's not going to let go of Bakura that easily, but Bakura is distancing himself from everyone...making sure that he is safe. Wow and we finally find out what happens with Jou's dad! I really loved that! Bakura's not going to take his shit...and mind erasing! Yes, that definitely works! Sadly, Bakura couldn't kill him, but he wanted to for sure...but he respects Jou's wishes...
I can't wait for the next chapter! This story is absolutely amazing! You're a fantastic writer and I'm going to miss your work! When you get your story published PLEASE let me know! I'll definitely buy a copy! Have fun on your trip Ferris! :D.
| dragonlady222 chapter 42 . 7/11/2014
Shizuka was a child when this all started and was powerless but she could have tried a bit harder to get in touch with Jou before she was losing her eyesight. She obviously had enough freedom to send that one I'm sure if she had tried she could have sent one earlier. Their mother needed to get away from their father but I could never understand how she could leave one of her children behind. Jou's father is obviously a violent man and an abuser from way back and has gotten worse as his alcoholism progresses. It's too bad he wouldn't let Bakura get rid of him for good and he couldn't do it himself. Shizuka seems to be very annoying and touchy feely which is something Bakura does not like or tolerate. She, at least, is realizing how badly she treated her brother. I wonder where Yami is, is he still entertaining Otogi or is he out hunting too.
| jessicaraven chapter 41 . 6/22/2014
I love this story. I read all of it in one day and I can't wait for another chapter. Please continue :)
| Nathanel chapter 41 . 5/11/2014
Most fanfics (and regular fics, sadly) simply use former relationships to stir up drama. What you have done actually fleshes out the characters. Not many fanfics do flashbacks very well either (they're either too short to be deep, or are simply boring), this fic makes them deep and exciting. Kudos.
BTW you said would try to go into publishing your own work, what pseudonym will you publish them under? 'Cause I'll buy what you write. You're real good at character building and excitement, and those are what I look for most in a read.
| dragonlady222 chapter 41 . 4/30/2014
I'm glad that Seth is dead, he can no longer hurt Atem or Bakura. Now aknukadin needs to go he is too dangerous. Bakura is not helpless even if he does keep getting hurt. Too bad the people can not leave them alone and in peace.
| Orochi-Dragon14 chapter 41 . 4/28/2014
Well, well looky here! This must be epic week! Enslaved by Jollybigsis and this amazing story gets updated around the same time! Lucky ol me! :D. Oh yes a whole past chapter! So glad you did this! Yeah this definitely would have overshadowed the present story!
Alright, so Atem wants Mahaddo to build something in secret and, of course, that's impossible so they're going to have to come up with a secret for it...but I'm assuming it's for Bakura...yeah he's not going to like that too much...
And now Bakura's back in the palace. Of course he doesn't want to tell Atem about his injury, but you kinda can't hide a broken wrist and injured shoulder. Still, I get why Bakura wouldn't want to see Atem right away because of the fact he'll just baby him and say "I told you so" but like that'd keep Bakura from his true home? Not at all...
It makes sense he'd want to learn all he can about Kas and their ability to track down other Kas. He wants to find Malik even though their last meeting was definitely not on good terms, he feels empty without him. Still, he needs to be careful...and then there's the fact that he thinks Seth is still a threat too...
And now Atem and Bakura have a nice little 'chat'. Insecurities and worries come up strong for both of them. So much is going on for both of them and it's messing up their relationship badly. It makes sense they'd have sex...still, that's only a temporary stress reliever...they're about to really get stressed here soon.
I loved the conversation between Shimon and Atem. You can see Shimon is still trying to teach Atem, but at the same time respect his Pharaoh...hmm yeah I'm not surprised Atem doesn't want to use the Key on Seth...
And Bakura is sneaking off to wander around in the palace. Of course he'd get mad at those idiots saying that building is for Atem's harem. I'd be pissed too. Oh and here's Seth acting like an idiot...and then Bakura snaps. Not even Seni could snap him out of it. Of course now the palace is in an uproar and Atem is going crazy trying to figure out what to do because Bakura is in danger but then so are his people...and Bakura summons Diabound! *dies so hard*
Isis feels its presence too. It's faint, but still there. Hmm yeah I suppose Maahado makes a good point about having everyone chase down Bakura and then they bring him back to safety...of course, I doubt that'd be happening what with Diabound flying about...
And Bakura killed Seth! YES! f;akfkafaf afa *dies so hard*
Oh man! I loved this chapter so much! I can't wait for the next one! I really do love your writing! :D.
| SHADOWoftheFOX chapter 41 . 4/28/2014
Wow! This had loads of good drama!
First, I'm glad Seini was proven to be a good person and stuck with Bakura even though he's a "phantom."
Now, when Diabound broke out, I thought that was going to be the breaking point, and Bakura and Atem were going to duke it out! What happened to Diabound then?
And as for the new building... I have no idea what Atem is building that would potentially help Bakura. But I think that whatever it is, it's going to piss off Bakura.
I hope the next chapter contains some of the present, although I enjoy both... I'll be happy with any sort of update.
| Purple Dragon Of The Flames chapter 41 . 4/28/2014
Amazing as always. :) thank you for the. dedication! I just fished TAFE and came home to find this update much to my joy. Hope the job hunting has been well. I have the joy of working with children serving ice cream. *not the sarcasim*
Where to begin?
Bakura is back, but not for long.
So much drama! I feel like I completely miss what the hell is being built. What is being built? What is it's purpose, or am I just slow...? Yeah, probably. :)
I like it all being in the past, it was nice not having the skipping going on and just having this all play out nicely. together.
Mahaado is just stuck in all this. Bound his divtion. It sad really...
Atem need to have stick up his ass. Damn! He just can not seem to get his act together. Fair enough, got the pressure of Bakura and ruleing and everything else... I feel for the guy, he's just stuck in a rock like everyone else. That the thing with love, once it's there: it demand to be felt, it dictates every move and action you make.
Wow I'm really inspirational! That was pretty well put if I don't mind saying so myself! :P
Glad you have spring semester, not that I fully understand how all that works being from Australia (technically kiwi).
Another covo between yami and Otogi! Yes!
Looking forward to the next chapter! Enjoy your job temps
| Purple Dragon Of The Flames chapter 40 . 4/24/2014
Mia is a bitch, but we already knew that. Her attempts to get back with jou are in vain though and I think she secretly know it as well. I'm silently waiting for for when she does fully come to terms with it. I get this weird feeling that her and Bakura will be in a room and it will be her tell him to get off his high horse and go back to jou later down in the story. I don't just a feeling. Or I could be completely wrong and she will just stay a bitch, but I'm hoping not. I always liked Mia as a character...
Yami, poor yami. He's dragging himself into his own little state of depression. I do love these little talks yami and otogi have. The way the two bicker back and forward is absolutely brilliant. I kind of feel bad for otogi though... He's just been dragged into all of it really and at the end of the day trying to save his on behind. Can't really blame the guy.
Ryou and his memory loss... Well that's going to be interesting. I still feel like he shouldn't have come back. Like damn, if I was him, I wouldn't have. Too much drama!
Anzu is caring and all but fuck, no matter how she is written she just annoys the crap out of me. You make at let tolerating, :)
Bakura, poor confused Bakura. He's just running from everything, well trying to at least. I can not begin to say how many different idea I have of how it's going to play out. I do love the relationship that is forming between Bakura and jou sister. I feel like she is going to pay a huge part with Mia and Bakura. Just in general, I love that any character introduce always has something significant they do, their not just there.
I love the past and present flipping!
What can I say? I love this story and every other story that you have written.
Hoping the lonesh review makes a quicker update? Haha, just joking. :P take as much time as needed.
| Guest chapter 40 . 1/10/2014
Love it!,hope you can update soon!